Little Steps in Depression Management by Pastor Rick Qualls

There are little steps you can take along the journey of wellness. The primary building blocks of recovery are medicine, sleep schedules and therapy. But there are little steps along the way that can help with the management of depression.

Three L’s that help me are logging thoughts in a journal, laughter, and long walks.

Logging your thoughts in a journal let you get thoughts down on paper. There is something that is healing in writing down our ruminations, reflections, and feelings. Thoughts get untangled as we clarify them in writing. Externalizing thoughts takes away some of their inner pressure.

Journaling gives you a record of your journey. Over time you will see patterns, chronicle things that you find helpful, keep track of moods and have specific things to show your therapist.

Often when I journal, I begin the entry with, “Dear Heavenly Father” and turn my thoughts into prayer. On other days when I don’t feel like praying, I can go back and pray them again.

Having a page for writing down inspirational thoughts, quotes, or Bible promises make helpful reading through the days. If you discover positive quotes jot them down and read and re-read them through your journey.

The Fresh Hope app offers a daily inspirational quote and bible verse that you may find helpful. Check it out at www.freshhope.us Or go to your Google Play or iTunes app store and just type in “Fresh Hope.” It’s free.

Laughter is the opposite of depression. A few minutes of hearty laughter can ease dark thoughts. You may discover that your sense of humor does not come as quickly. Don’t worry. Laugh as you can. There is even a “laugh-yoga.” It teaches that even faking laughter for a moment can trigger a laughter reflex.

Among my favorites are old re-runs of Andy Griffith. Barney’s facial expressions never fail to cause a laugh or a smile. Replays of Carol Burnett shows have the same effect on me. Regardless of your type of humor, it can play an essential piece in your depression management.

Long walks help with depression management. Fresh air, sunshine, the rhythmic motion of walking has healing effects. Exercise is an indispensable part of recovery. Physical activity can unstress some of the knots of anxiety. Walking in nature seems to have healing benefits.

You may walk with a friend which gives a feeling of connectedness and helps break some of the isolation of depression. Or you may choose just to be mindful, emptying your mind of thoughts to focus on nature around you. This is also a time when many have found it easy to commune with God.

Will logging in your journal, laughing, going on long walks help your depression management? We are all different and what one person tries may be helpful or not. But spend time learning management tips from others.

These things will not cure your depression, but they may help make your journey easier.

30 Things You Can Do When Someone You Love is Clinically Depressed

When you love someone that is experiencing deep depression it can be exhausting and frustrating. You want to encourage your loved one but don’t want to push them too much. Encouraging them to “push through” but knowing when not to do so is a delicate balance. You might even find yourself feeling the depression emotionally. No doubt caring for someone who is in the depths of depression can feel as though life is being sucked out of you. You can end up having no idea as to how to help or encourage your loved one.

Here’s somethings my wife did for me and/or encouraged me to do when I was in the depths of depression:

Encourage them to do something that they usually have enjoyed doing and do it with them.
Watch an uplifting movie with them.
Make them their favorite meal.
Sit quietly with them. Hold their hand.
Take a walk with them.
Take care of yourself!
Help them establish and stick to a schedule if possible.
Have some expectations of them.
Assure them of your unconditional love.
Assure them that this will pass sooner or later.
Give them a back rub.
Listen to soothing, spiritually uplifting music with them.
Ask them to help you make or do something.
Encourage them to talk and listen carefully.
Encourage them to see a doctor if they have not done so.
Assure them you don’t believe that they are weak or lack faith, but that you know their brain chemistry is experiencing imbalance.
Ask them to promise you that if they ever begin to feel like they begin to feel suicidal that they will tell you. If they tell you, consult with their doctor as soon as possible or contact the Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. If the situation is an emergency, dial 911.
Ask them what might bring them comfort.
Talk about the future. Help them see there is a future.
Encourage them to exercise with you.
Turn on the lights, open the windows.
Find out as much as you can about depression. This is a great website: https://www.lighterblue.com/#lighter-blue
Change your light bulbs to full spectrum light bulbs.
Give your loved one a mood light. Northern Light Technologies has a wide variety of options. http://northernlighttechnologies.com/ (Before purchasing these you’ll want to check with the doctor.)
Get them vitamin D and B12.
Remind them of times when they have overcome adversity so they know it is possible for them to do so again.
Encourage them to get outside for a walk and some natural sunlight.
Turn off news programs and other negative media. Control negative inputs.
Where possible, encourage them to connect with friends.
Pray. Every time you find yourself worrying about your loved one, pray instead.

Please know, as a loved one it is SO important that you do take care of yourself too. Stay balanced and do somethings that you enjoy. Take care of yourself spiritually and emotionally. Also, know this, the Lord is with you too! He will see you through this valley. Stay in His word. Hold to His hope. And when you can, laugh a little! You are not alone. There is hope. And there is healing.

Cover photo by nikko macaspac on Unsplash

Six Living Well Principles for Those Who Love Someone with a Mental Health Diagnosis

My wife is an amazing woman. She has loved me at my worst. My mental health challenges have taken a toll on her and also our children. But, today we are more in love than ever before, and we have great relationships with our adult children. However, my wife would tell you that she had to learn how to take care of herself emotionally when I was at my worst. To be a caregiver long term she had to discipline herself with principles of wellness for herself.

Mental Illness is like so many other diseases; it affects the entire family and close friends as they attempt to love and care for their son, daughter, spouse or close friend who is struggling with a mental health condition. Thus, it is just as imperative for those who are the loved ones (caregivers) to apply wellness principles to themselves as they make the journey along with their family member or friend who has a mental illness.

When our Fresh Hope groups meet both those who have a mental health diagnosis along with their loved ones all meet in the same group for the first half of our meetings. When we started Fresh Hope we initially only had principles of recovery (we call them tenets) for those who had a mental health diagnosis, and we discovered something significant; those who were loved ones needed wellness principles too!

When loved ones don’t take good care of themselves emotionally as the care for someone who has a mental health diagnosis they can develop a mental health challenge themselves.

So, here are the wellness principles for those who are the spouses, kids, sons and daughters and friends of those of us who have a mental health diagnosis:

PRINCIPLE #1
My loved one’s mental health challenge has also left me feeling helpless and hopeless. Therefore, I choose the help of others in learning about the disorder and choosing healthy boundaries for myself.

Together, we have understanding. We remind each other of the Lord’s love, and that He alone can do all things. He is the source of our hope, and in Him we can overcome all things.

“I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13 (NIV)
_________

PRINCIPLE #2
I haven’t always responded to my loved one’s mental health issue in ways that were good for the relationship. Therefore, I choose to learn better ways to communicate with, support, and encourage my loved one.

Together, we commit to speaking the truth in love, healing broken relationships and viewing each other as the Lord views us.

“So let’s pursue those things which bring peace and which are good for each other.” Romans 14:19 (God’s Word Translation, 1995)
_________

PRINCIPLE #3
At times I don’t understand my loved one and can allow them to either wallow in their excuses or push them too hard. Therefore I choose to learn healthy, appropriate ways to contribute to my loved one’s recovery.

Together we do better than trying on our own. We will hold one another accountable for learning, growing, and choosing to push through in hope.

“Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up.”
1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV)
________

PRINCIPLE #4
At times I also feel hopeless, letting my loved one’s actions and recovery define my happiness. Therefore, I choose to live with healthy emotional boundaries, and I choose my own joy despite the ups and downs of my loved one.

Together we remind each other that our hope and joy come from the Lord. He alone is able to fulfill our needs in every aspect of our lives.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you
and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
__________

PRINCIPLE #5
I, too, have been part of the cycle of dysfunctional living, either thinking I had all the answers or thinking the problem didn’t belong to me. Therefore, I choose to submit myself to learning new behaviors and taking responsibility for my own healthy, balanced living.

Together we choose freedom over suffering, and joy in living through self-knowledge in action.

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5
__________

PRINCIPLE #6
At times, I have viewed myself as a victim of my loved one’s behavior and disorder, living in resentment, anger, unforgiveness, or self-pity. Therefore, I choose to separate the disorder from the person I love, forgive and let go of the past, and live as a contributor to successful recovery.

Together, we share in each other’s victories and celebrate the whole person.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7
__________

Are you a loved one? What have you found is important for you to do in order to stay emotionally healthy as you care for your spouse/son/daughter/parent/friend who has a mental health diagnosis?

Podcast: Hope for the Homeless, Hurting and Hopeless

In this edition of Fresh Hope for Mental Health, Pastor Brad interviews Ms. Candace Hoyt-Gregory, C.E.O. of the Open Door Mission in Omaha, Nebraska. Candice gives helpful insight into mental health issues that the homeless face as well as just the compassion and mercy that is needed when ministering to hurting, hopeless and homeless people.

This interview is very insightful for the Church at large and caregivers regarding hopelessness. But, there’s a LOT of encouragement also for those who are hurting and feeling hopeless. No matter where you are “at” today, you’ll get a lot from this interview.

Candace Gregory is President/CEO of Open Door Mission in Omaha, Nebraska. Since joining the Mission as a case manager in 1995, Ms. Gregory has also served as Director of Family Ministries, Director of Lydia House and Family Ministries, and Chief Operating Officer.

Born and raised in New Brunswick, Canada, Candace is a graduate of Lower Coverdale Christian Academy, Bethany Bible College, New Brunswick Community College, and Grace University with a degree in Human Development and Family Studies. In 2004, Candace received an honorary doctorate from Clarkson College of Sciences in Humanitarian Services Prior to her entry in the social service and family ministry profession, Candace was a successful businesswoman who launched and managed family-owned pizza restaurants in Canada. She is a devoted wife and mother, residing in Iowa with her husband Steve and their four children.

Ms. Gregory has more than 20 years of experience in children and family ministries. She has become a noted national advocate for the homeless and is sought out for her experience in implementing community prevention programs that help end the cycle of homelessness and poverty. Ms. Gregory is a seasoned community relations builder, having acquired partnerships with Omaha businesses and service organizations.

After listening to this podcast, we encourage you to email us at info@FreshHope.us with a comment or question that we will share on our next podcast.

To listen to this podcast click on the icon just below here or click here:

If you are listening to this podcast on iTunes, we encourage you to leave a comment regarding the podcast. Or you can leave a voice message for us on the site: www.FreshHope4MentalHealth.com

Pastor Brad Hoefs, the host of Fresh Hope for Mental Health, is the founder of Fresh Hope Ministries, a network of Christian mental health support groups for those who have a diagnosis and their loved ones. In other words, Fresh Hope is a Christian mental health support group.

Brad was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 1995. He is a weekly blogger for www.bphope.com (Bipolar Magazine). He is also a certified peer specialist and has been doing pastoral counseling since 1985. Brad is also the author of Fresh Hope: Living Well in Spite of a Mental Health Diagnosis, which is available on Amazon or at http://www.FreshHopeBook.com

If you are interested in more information about Fresh Hope go to http://www.FreshHope.us or email info@FreshHope.us or call 402.932.3089.

To donate to Fresh Hope go to http://freshhope.us/donate/

For a complete list of where Fresh Hope groups are presently meeting, go to www.FreshHope.us and click on “find a group.” Or you may attain an online group of meetings of Fresh Hope by going to www.FreshHopeMeeting.com

If you are interested in starting a Fresh Hope group within your faith community, contact Julie at Julie@FreshHope.us

Fresh Hope for Mental Health is a production of Fresh Hope Ministries.

Fresh Hope Ministries is a non-profit ministry.

The copyrights of this program belong to Fresh Hope Ministries and may not be duplicated without written permission.

All of the podcasts of Fresh Hope Today, as well as numerous other videos, are all available on our YouTube channel: Fresh Hope Network

Fresh Hope for Mental Health is on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/FreshHopeforMentalHealth

Insights for Someone Who Has Been Newly Diagnosed with a Mental Health Issue

Have you been newly diagnosed with a mental health issue? It can be overwhelming, to say the least. Through the years of finding the path to living well in spite of having a mental health diagnosis, I’ve come up with a list of a few things to do when newly diagnosed.

So, here are what I would consider key initial steps to living well when you’ve been recently diagnosed:

The sooner you come to terms with your diagnosis and work your treatment plan, the sooner you are on the road to getting back your life

Get enough sleep and watch your stress level

Be honest with your doctor- the more he/she knows, the more helpful they can be. If you don’t trust your doctor or believe they are the best at what they do, find another doctor

Find a positive and encouraging peer support group to attend.

Take your medicine. Push past the side effects. And if the side effects are too much, talk to your doctor. Don’t make decisions regarding your medicine without your doctor’s input and approval.

Don’t do street drugs. They interfere with the prescribed medicine. Yes, even marijuana does. You certainly won’t get better because of them and they will most likely only impede your recovery.

Know the difference between emotional issues versus the symptoms of what you have been diagnosed with.

Choose to believe that you can live a rich life in spite of this disorder or you can become the victim of it. You get to decide.

Know that you are not alone.

Of course, the single most important thing is to remember, know and hold to- that the Lord is with you. He has not left you. He won’t leave you. He won’t give up on you. He is for you. And He will take what you are going through right now and work it together for your good. Listen to or read His word. If you can’t read the Bible, listen to it or listen to Scripture songs. It will feed your soul and bring inner peace.

These are some things that I have found true for myself in the recovery process since I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder some 23 years ago now. What have you found? What would you tell someone who has been newly diagnosed?

When “I” Becomes “We” Wellness Happens

From my perspective, finding at least one person that you trust can be key for successful recovery. Let’s be honest, a mental health issue, when not treated can distort your perception of reality and easily affect your behavior and choices. And when this happens we need someone to speak into our situation to help us make the necessary corrections in the course of our mental health recovery.

For me, this person has been my wife. It took me a while to believe that she was truly on “my side”. It took me a while to truly trust that she had my best interest always in mind. I’m blessed and fortunate to have a spouse who understands and is trustworthy. I know this is not true for everyone who has a partner or is married who has a mental health challenge. And of course, if you are single it can be a challenge to find that one trustworthy friend.

But, I’m convinced having this “one person” in my life has enabled me to get past the “i” of illness. When I allowed my wife to begin to be a partner in my recovery, we moved to “we” and when you take the “i” off of illness and exchange it with “we”- you end up with wellness. And that is what I have experienced and continue to experience mental wellness.

Now we do not always agree. And when that happens she and I simply have an agreement that I bring it to the attention of my doctor either at my next appointment or if it is of such a more urgent nature that I will call him. This has happened maybe once or twice in the last twelve years. And the doctor confirmed her concern one time and the other times he has confirmed my point of view. Because sometimes her concerns are based more upon her fear of my relapsing than based upon actually bipolar issues. And she is well aware of that.

Now, this “one-person” needs to be:

someone that you not only trust but someone that you feel completely safe with
someone who believes in you
someone who wants to see you succeed
someone who believes that you can live well in spite of having bipolar disorder
someone who will listen and understand you, but also challenge you to push through when it would be easier to give up
someone who would be willing to go along with you to your doctor appointment from time to time
someone who will hold you accountable; who can ask you the hard questions that are key for your recovery
someone who access to your doctor and therapist
someone who has a fairly good understanding of bipolar disorder but is willing to learn a lot more and become as informed about bipolar and your particular journey with bipolar disorder as possible
someone who knows you and part of your daily life
someone that you are willing to allow to “speak-into” your recovery

Do you have someone like this to take the “i” out of your illness and make it a “we”, moving to wellness? How do you find this person? Who might this person be in your life? I’d encourage you to find this person and bring them onto your team.

30 Things You Can Do When Someone You Love is Clinically Depressed

Here’s somethings my wife did for me and/or encouraged me to do when I was in the depths of depression:

Encourage them to do something that they usually have enjoyed doing and do it with them.
Watch an uplifting movie with them.
Make them their favorite meal.
Sit quietly with them. Hold their hand.
Take a walk with them.
Take care of yourself!
Help them establish and stick to a schedule if possible.
Have some expectations of them.
Assure them of your unconditional love.
Assure them that this will pass sooner or later.
Give them a back rub.
Listen to soothing, spiritually uplifting music with them.
Ask them to help you make or do something.
Encourage them to talk and listen carefully.
Encourage them to see a doctor if they have not done so.
Assure them you don’t believe that they are weak or lack faith, but that you know their brain chemistry is experiencing imbalance.
Ask them to promise you that if they ever begin to feel like they begin to feel suicidal that they will tell you. If they tell you, consult with their doctor as soon as possible or contact the Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. If the situation is an emergency, dial 911.
Ask them what might bring them comfort.
Talk about the future. Help them see there is a future.
Encourage them to exercise with you.
Turn on the lights, open the windows.
Find out as much as you can about depression. This is a great website: https://www.lighterblue.com/#lighter-blue
Change your light bulbs to full spectrum light bulbs.
Give your loved one a mood light. Northern Light Technologies has a wide variety of options. http://northernlighttechnologies.com/ (Before purchasing these you’ll want to check with the doctor.)
Get them vitamin D and B12.
Remind them of times when they have overcome adversity so they know it is possible for them to do so again.
Encourage them to get outside for a walk and some natural sunlight.
Turn off news programs and other negative media. Control negative inputs.
Where possible, encourage them to connect with friends.
Pray. Every time you find yourself worrying about your loved one, pray instead.