By: Stan Popovich

Have you ever been bullied at your job or in your personal life?  Do you currently know someone who is being bullied?  A person who is being bullied have higher rates of depression and anxiety which can be a factor in a person’s life.

As a result, here are some suggestions on how to deal with a bully and how to get them to stop bothering you.

1. Show People That You Are Confident In Yourself: It is important to believe in yourself and that you display confidence when dealing with others. Bullies tend to bother people who are unsure about themselves so it is important that other people know that you have a lot of self-confidence. This will prevent a bully from targeting you.
2. Always Stand Up For Yourself: Always stand your ground when dealing with conflict from others. Let people know that you will stand up for yourself when some people get on your case. This will show others that you will not sit by and be bullied without doing anything about it. This will make the bullies think twice before bothering you.
3. There Is Safety In Numbers: If you can, it is good to hang out with a group of friends whether it is at your job or in your personal life. A bully will tend to go after somebody who is alone and by themselves. A bully will less likely bother you if they know that you have a group of people that will back you up. Even if you have trouble making friends, just having acquaintances can go a long way in preventing someone from getting on your case.
4. Learn How To Deal With A Bully: If you are being bullied, it is important to learn effective techniques on how to deal with the situation.  A person can talk to a professional counselor who will help you on what you can do when you are being bullied. A person can also go to a local mental health support group in their area that can give you additional advice. The key is to learn what you need to do to stop someone from bullying you.
5. Never Show Them Your Emotions: If someone decides to get on your case, it is a good idea to not let the person know they are getting to you. Letting a bully know that they are bothering you will only make things worse. Never show the bully your fears or frustrations. Hopefully, the person will get tired of bothering you and they will find somewhere else to go.

6. Talk To The Person: If possible, talk to the person who is bothering you and find out why they are getting on your case. Ask them if you did anything wrong that made them angry. Try to find the reason why he or she is bothering you. Stay calm and be polite when talking to the person who is harassing you. Hopefully, there may be a chance to reconcile with that person.

Fresh Hope is a faith-based non-profit that empowers people to live well in spite of their mental health challenge.

YOUR gift will provide a person with God’s Fresh HOPE for daily living. Click here to donate, today.

By: Katie Dale

I laid alert and sweating, grasping for some semblance of reason and peace when those raspy voices chanted in my head all at one time, repeating my Savior’s name. The night I switched psychotropic medications, ending one, upping another, culminated in a restless battle for my sanity.  The resulting effects debilitated my mind in a full-on anxiety attack and break from reality. It appeared as though the doctor recommended a quick switch from one medicine to another.

-Probably one of the darkest nights of my soul.

When it does its job, medication is a miraculous thing.

And “when” is such an unpredictable factor.

So trial and error leads the way these days. Advanced as our first-world society is today, our technology and pharmacology has not yet broken through to the next level of brain science. As having been diagnosed bipolar disorder for the last 15 years, my medication has been a journey to find stability. I can pretty much guarantee you that compared to my bipolar disorder, the medication has been a Godsend.

Which is why it saddens, frustrates and angers me when people are misled to believe that medication is bad.

As with any journey of discovery and revelation, risk is a given. What do I say to those who think medication is a waste of money, who think pharmaceuticals are all out to get you hooked on pills? Don’t let the loudest voices do all the talking.

To them I say, look at my ability to live life. Before I even had medicine, I was sick. My brain misfired and my reality was skewed. On my medicine, I’m doing better than I’ve ever been.

So don’t believe the ones that ignorantly claim that medication is of the devil, or that it’s a worldly answer to spiritual warfare, or that pharmaceuticals are out just for your money.

Please, don’t make the same mistake I did and go off the medication, if you have a mood disorder.

This is the worst advice anyone could get on mental illness.

Listen to your doctor, listen to your body and mind.

And listen to your gut.

If you have been diagnosed with a mood disorder, take care of yourself.

Take your medicine.

If it doesn’t work or it has additional negative side effects, consult with your doctor. There are generations of medicines now that are offered, more variety is here than ever before. There are side effects that come with a lot of medicines, but you don’t know how you will respond to the medicine until you try it. Every person’s brain chemistry is different. Everyone’s. No two people will respond the same exact way to the same medicine. Dosage type and amount, generic and formulary, there are so many ways each of our brains react to the drugs. 

Additionally, it is common to initially think that one just has to “pray away” their mental illness. Don’t get me wrong, there is power in prayer. However, medication can be an answer to prayer. It has been for me. It has been for many. You can credit prayer when you’re trying to get through a depression without medication and God delivers you. If He works that way in your life, do that. But don’t discount the possible benefits, and in severe mental illness, the recommended treatment of medications, that are purposefully used to give us relief and proper balance of brain activity. 

That’s the best advice I can give about mental illness.

Fresh Hope is a faith-based non-profit that empowers people to live well in spite of their mental health challenge.

YOUR gift will provide a person with God’s Fresh HOPE for daily living. Click here to donate, today.

 

By: Rick Qualls

I was smiling, at least I thought I was. Although depressed, I was a high functioning depressive. Occasionally it would overwhelm me, but for the most part I wore a mask. A mask was so intertwined with my personality I couldn’t tell where the it ended and the real me began.

Smiling depression, sometimes called high functioning depression, is still depression and needs treatment. Depression is an illness. It is an illness that affects you physically, mentally, and spiritually.

I was doing all of the pastor things, preaching, counseling, funerals, and helping people with grief.  It went on long enough that I didn’t know I was depressed. Able to do virtually all of my pastoral tasks, most people thought I was just a bit moody, but I thought it was well hidden.

What does high functioning depression look like?

Often, behind a well constructed facade there is anxiety that may have been there for years. Anxieties reach levels that interfere with daily life. The smiling mask is worn and our inner world may be hidden from even those the closest to us. There is great fear that loved ones or fellow employees may, without intending, unmask us.

There is a Bible verse that helps me remember that God cares about my inner world.

“You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,“ Psalm 30:11 ESV  The sadness can be changed.

But when you are depressed joy is lost. People can’t tell. You may have loss of pleasure in the things you once enjoyed. Activities with others feel as a burden to avoid. It is easier to lose oneself in work where the mask can stay firmly in place.

Self criticism and perfectionism go hand in hand with depression. What may look like having high standards to others are actually feelings of worthlessness that drive you to pursue high standards. But your accomplishments are never enough.

Decreased energy plagues you. There are times life cannot be handled. It takes all your strength and motivation just to get through the day. The Bible reminds me that depression does destroy my inner life.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10 ESV

Sadness is hidden behind the mask. This sadness cannot be pinpointed. It is just there. Most days it is manageable. Others are difficult to function.

High functioning depressives are often surprised to discover that they could be be depressed.

All of these things describe how I lived for years. It lasted  until—I couldn’t do it anymore. It took several years of treatment before I was correctly diagnosed as having bipolar 2. Bipolar 2 is experienced as an intense form of depression. The manic states are not very noticeable but the depression side of the disease is extreme.

In time my doctor and I discovered the correct meds to treat the illness. With medication I am able to function without a mask hiding my inner life. Smiles are genuine not faked.

What to do if you think you might be a smiling depressive? The first step is to find a therapist. There are many types of depression and a therapist trained in discerning the types of depression is important.

Engaging both a psychiatrist and counselor helps to combat your depression in two ways. A psychiatrist is a specialized medical doctor able to prescribe medications for mental illness.

A counselor helps you manage your inner world, feelings, and thinking processes in a healthy manner and help you change negative thinking patterns. A verse that reminds me of the importance of the patterns of thinking is Romans 12:2:  “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Be patient it may take time. But becoming healthy is worth the effort.

“But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31 ESV

After I was able to get a correct diagnosis and on correct meds I was able to continue my last years as a pastor being real with people. How did people respond to learning of my illness?  There were all kinds of reactions but it opened a ministry to people who were quietly suffering from various issues. Out of illness came good.

May your smile may be real. May it reveal an inner world of joy and healing.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Romans 15:13 ESV

 

Fresh Hope is a faith-based non-profit that empowers people to live well in spite of their mental health challenge.

YOUR gift will provide a person with God’s Fresh HOPE for daily living. Click here to donate, today.

By: Stan Popovich

Do you currently struggle with fear and anxiety and wish you could talk to someone who can relate to your situation?

If so, I dealt with fear and anxiety for over 20 years and here are some lessons I learned during my mental health struggles.

1. Listen To The Professionals And Not Your Friends: Your friends may mean well, but when it comes down to it, the professionals know your situation more than anyone. They know what you are going through and are trained to deal with your situation. Consult with a counselor when you have questions about your mental health issues.
2. Distance Yourself From People Who Give You A Hard Time: Distance yourself from those people who won’t make an effort to help understand what you are going through. You need to surround yourself with positive and supportive people. I felt better when I avoided those people who would constantly argue with me regarding my anxieties and stresses.
3. Focus On The Facts of Your Situation And Not Your Thoughts: When people are depressed they rely on their fearful and negative thoughts.  Your fearful thoughts are exaggerated and are not based on reality. When you are depressed, focus on the facts of your current situation and not on what you think.
4. Learn From Your Experiences: In every anxiety-related situation I experienced, I learned what worked, what did not work, and what I needed to improve on as I managed my fears and anxieties. For example, you have a lot of anxiety and you decide to take a walk to help you feel better. The next time you feel anxious you can remind yourself that you got through it the last time by taking a walk.
5. You Can’t Predict The Future Regardless What Your Thoughts May Tell You: No one can predict the future with one hundred percent certainty. Even if the thing that you are afraid of does happen, there are circumstances and factors that you can’t predict which can be used to your advantage. For instance, you miss the deadline for a project at work. Suddenly, your boss comes to your office and tells you that the deadline is extended and that he forgot to tell you the day before. This unknown factor changes everything.
6.  Things Change Over Time: Regardless of your current situation, things do not stay the same. You may feel very bad today, but it won’t last forever. Everything changes over time and this includes your current mental health issues.

Fresh Hope is a faith-based non-profit that empowers people to live well in spite of their mental health challenge.

YOUR gift will provide a person with God’s Fresh HOPE for daily living. Click here to donate, today.