By Peggy Rice

As I talked about in my blog post last month , not every holiday looks like the Norman Rockwell pictures we see or the ones in our minds. For many, facing Christmas when dealing with a mental health challenge – either your own, or that of someone you love – can be daunting. Or discouraging. Or sad.

So how can we face this time of year – a time of celebration of our Lord Jesus’ birth – with reasonable expectations? How can we manage the Advent Season with joy, in spite of our mental health circumstances?

I think there are many steps we can take to help us embrace peace and joy, like the Christmas Carols suggest. I encourage you choose a few from the list below – pick the ones that are easy for you to implement. (Some of these suggestions come from Fresh Hope for Mental Health materials and their social media postings. Others are from Theresa Borchard, Depressions Busters, Beyond Blue, beliefnet.com)

• Create a list of the things that really bring you joy, and make your plans according to those, not someone else’s expectations.
• Create a Not-To-Do-Now list – can it wait for another time? Maybe the annual Family Christmas letter could be a Love Letter that goes out in February!
• Don’t strive for perfection! Maybe instead of the whole house decorated for Christmas, it’s just one room. Or instead of the decked-out Christmas tree, it’s enough to display just one ornament that you find meaningful. If you don’t have a fancy hanger it can swing from, consider a piece of thread/string/yarn tied through the top, and dangling from a drawer pull. Or sitting in a small bowl on your table. Pick one that brings you pleasant memories.
• Practice self-care. Try to find a few minutes each week (each day?!) that you can set aside for yourself. To write in your gratitude journal, or paint your fingernails, or smell a candle scent as it burns gently. Take a nap, if you need to.
• Connect with loved ones; spend quality time with people who make you feel good. Maybe give a trusted family member a call and videochat for 10 minutes, or meet a good friend at a local coffee shop for an hour.
• If you must see people you don’t really want to see, set a time limit.  Let it be known at the beginning of the visit that you only have time for x-y-z, and excuse yourself when it’s time to go.
• Keep to a regular sleep schedule. Exercise (even a walk around the block). Eat well, and limit your drinking to only 1, if any.
• Beef up your support system: if you usually go to 1 meeting a week, go to 2.  Have extra babysitters lined up.  Have phone numbers of support people in your cell.  Plan an extra visit with your therapist.
• Allow yourself to feel your feelings, even if they include messy ones like grief. Give yourself time to cry for the loved ones you miss, especially this time of year.
• Try to make it easy – “wrap” the gifts in brown paper bags. Pick up the dessert you said you’d bring to the party from the grocery store. Make an appearance at the office Christmas Party – you don’t have to stay for the whole thing.
• Give yourself permission to say “No,” without feeling guilty.
• Review your triggers; what has triggered you in previous years? Know what to watch for.  Avoid them, or review your plan of what actions you’re going to take if faced with that trigger. Review your WRAP Plan.
• Think about others.  If you need a pick-me-up, do something nice for someone else.
• Read the Christmas story from Matthew 2:1-15 or Luke 1:5-2:20. Don’t feel pressured to read it all at once – linger over just a few verses at a time, and marvel at how God kept His promises from long ago, how they came true that first Christmas night when He sent our Savior, His Son Jesus.

The holidays can be hard when you’re already dealing with depression or anxiety, already simply trying to get out of bed, or stop the racing thoughts. If your loved one struggles, you might wonder what you can do that won’t set them off. Try to be patient with yourself, and consider doing less this year than you might have done in the past. It’s ok. Everything has a season, and maybe this season is a little slower, a little gentler, than other years.

The focus of Christmas isn’t the decorations, or the gifts, or the big family gatherings anyway. It’s that Jesus left heaven and came to earth as a baby. John 1:14 in the Message Paraphrase says that He “moved into the neighborhood.” Isn’t that amazing? He came to be with us (that’s what Immanuel means). He entered into His created world, and lived a perfect life, and gave that life for us when He hung on the cross as the punishment for our sins. And the greatest gift? He rose again, defeating sin and death, and making a way for us to be restored into a relationship with Him, for eternity. And He gave us His Holy Spirit – living in us as believers, and His Word, the Bible, to teach us about who He is, and how He loves us. That’s what Christmas is for. To get to know the baby who grew up to be our Savior. So focus on that, and let the rest of it go.

Peggy has been involved with Fresh Hope as a Group Facilitator for 5 years and as the Hope Coach trainer for 3. You can reach her at peggy@freshhope.us

By Mark Soppit

The Christmas season, filled with joy, celebration, giving and receiving, can also bring stress and emotional challenges. Here are some lessons from the Christmas story we can think about to help us stay healthy and well.

Embracing Unexpected Changes:

The story of Mary and Joseph reminds us that life is full of unexpected changes. Imagine Mary, a young woman, receiving the angel Gabriel’s startling announcement that she would give birth to the Savior (Luke 1:26-38). Such an unexpected event could easily overwhelm anyone, yet Mary’s response was of grace and acceptance: “I am the Lord’s servant…Let it be to me according to your word.” Her simple statement of surrender and faith for her future put her life in God’s hands to watch over and protect her.

Learning to embrace the unexpected with faith and trust, rather than fear is a great skill to develop. It is developing a growth mindset, or one that is open to change, rather than a fixed one, which tends to be more fearful and rigid. At Christmas, plans may not always go as you want or expect — perhaps a family gathering is disrupted, or a gift fails to arrive on time. Handling these changes with patience and flexibility can reduce stress and allow us to see other blessings that may come by surprise.

Finding Peace in the Midst of Chaos:

The journey to Bethlehem was far from perfect for Mary and Joseph. Imagine traveling on foot and by donkey, only to find there was no room at the inn (Luke 2:4-7). Disappointment and discomfort marked Jesus’ birth, yet it was in the simplicity of a manger that peace and miracle unfolded.

In our own lives, seeking peace amidst chaos is essential for emotional well-being. This may involve finding quiet moments to reflect, pray, or simply breathe amidst festive activities. Whether it’s a brief walk, a moment of prayer, or quiet meditation on Scripture, these practices can anchor and calm our minds.

Cherishing Humble Moments:

The birth of Jesus in a humble stable is a profound reminder of the beauty in simplicity. The shepherds, ordinary people tending their flocks, were the first to receive the glorious news of Jesus’ birth and visit Him (Luke 2:8-20). They remind us that precious moments of connection and joy can be found in simplicity.

As we celebrate Christmas, focusing on humble, simple joys rather than material extravagance can deepen our sense of fulfillment. Cherishing time with loved ones, sharing stories, and giving thanks for each other can create more meaningful memories than most presents. Our family started doing a Secret Santa a number of years ago to remove the pressure to buy expensive presents and add an expectant excitement to our get together. By drawing names from a hat, no one knew who their gift-giver was, and by setting a limit that wasn’t excessive it forced us to be creative. It has brought a lot of fun and meaning to our family.

Practicing Generosity with Intent:

The wise men, or Magi, traveled many miles bearing gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh to honor Jesus (Matthew 2:1-12). Their journey demonstrated intentional generosity, a practice that brings joy both to the giver and receiver. God loves cheerful givers who decide in their heart what to give without being pressured to give more than they can afford (2 Corinthians 8-9).

During Christmas, we can practice generosity not just in material giving but also in spirit — through acts of kindness, words of encouragement, or volunteering to help those less fortunate. Intentional generosity blesses our communities and brings a meaningful sense of purpose and connection that supports emotional well-being.

Embracing Solitude and Reflection:

Before Jesus’ birth, Joseph demonstrates remarkable strength and reflection. Upon learning of Mary’s pregnancy, he planned to divorce her quietly. Yet, after an angelic visitation in a dream, he chose to stand by Mary (Matthew 1:18-24). Joseph’s story highlights the importance of solitude and reflective decision-making. Sometimes decisions made in reaction don’t bring the best outcomes. Christmas has the ability to throw unexpected emotional curve balls into our lives.

In our busy lives, carving out time for solitude allows for reflection and clear thinking. This season, set aside moments to ponder life’s direction, your values, and blessings. This reflective practice can provide clarity and peace, preparing our hearts for the true spirit of Christmas.

Trusting in Divine Timing:

Throughout the Christmas narrative, divine timing plays a critical role. From the census calling Mary and Joseph to Bethlehem to the wise men following the star, we see perfect timing at work.

Trusting in divine timing can bring peace when we are unsure what the future holds. Knowing that God was always at work in the story of Jesus’ birth is encouraging as we face uncertainties and challenges. He is involved in our lives, weaving our unique stories into His great plan.

In conclusion:

The Christmas story provides more than a narrative of Christ’s birth; it offers insights and inspiration for mental and emotional wellness. By embracing change, finding peace amidst chaos, cherishing simplicity, practicing generosity, engaging in reflection, and trusting divine timing, we can walk through this season with a joyful and peaceful heart.

I hope that we can all celebrate Christ’s birth with peace. If Christmas fills you with dread, may you know the closeness of Immanuel, God with us, filling your heart with love. When we calm our heart we have the opportunity to offer it afresh to the Light of the world, who came to deliver and save us. My favourite carol is “In the Bleak Midwinter,” largely because of the final verse. As I sing it, it reminds me that I may not have much, but I do have a heart I can give to Jesus in gratitude for what He has done.

“What can I give him,

poor as I am?

If I were a shepherd,

I would bring a lamb,

if I were a wise man

I would do my part,

yet what I can I give him,

give my heart.”

Mark lives in Niagara Falls, Canada with his wife, Janet. They have 5 children and a dog and enjoy exercise, public speaking, and motivating others. They have walked through many years of navigating mental illness and its effects on their marriage, their children, and pretty much every aspect of their lives. Through Living Well Coaching, their desire is to connect people to Jesus’ unlimited resources, and help them build resilient, healthy, and fruitful lives that glorify God and reach their full potential. You can follow them on social media: INSTAGRAM @livingwellcoaching; FACEBOOK livingwellcoachingniagara or their website Livingwellcoaching.ca

By Scott Box

“aJesusStory” comprises the regular episodes of life resulting from living as a gritty, heroic worshiper of Jesus. I knew it was my responsibility to invite people into my journey to tell and show them that Jesus had control of my crises and was ordering the chaos in and around me. As my desperation did for me, your desperation to know and depend on Jesus becomes your secret weapon, too. Here’s a quick explanation in under 1000 words. Wink.

Desperation gave me two directions I could choose between in my “aJesusStory:”
I could move into isolation and dark hopelessness,
Or I could choose to move toward a hopeful dependence on Jesus.

There is no other way to explain it; my gritty struggle and suffering as a result of Bipolar disorder and unrelenting low back pain broke my understanding of Jesus and Christian worship. In other words, my lack of mental health and back pain helped me look to Jesus in desperation and long for His rescue even in the most minor aspects of my everyday life: my words, actions, relationships and situations. I had previously thought such humbling dependence on Jesus to be unquestionably unnecessary—if I had maintained this thinking, hopelessness would have been a legitimate destination.

Suffering caused me to reach this breakpoint. That is when I learned that my desperation to know Jesus became the secret ingredient in my story of faith, my “aJesusStory.” My desperation for Jesus resulted in a dependence on Jesus that rebuilt my broken understanding of Christian worship and witness. My secret:

If I am not desperate for Jesus, I do not need Jesus.
Ironic? Maybe. Stupid? No. The times I thought I did not need Jesus to save the day every day, I was wrong—I got hurt, and so did others—in small and big ways. So I embrace desperation for Jesus in my daily living—my “aJesusStory” today. I would be lying to myself to say, “I do not need Jesus.” I do. I need Him to remind me why I get out of bed every morning and why I encourage and respect people the way I do. Desperate dependence on Jesus—my lifestyle of worship—affects my “aJesusStory,” my witness for Jesus.

I chose to begin to live my worship of Jesus with intentional, desperate dependence on Jesus because I needed Him to “come through” for me permanently. The answer to my desperation was to grab and hold onto Jesus for dear life; I was longing for Him to fulfill His promise of new life and endless adventure despite my pain and crises. Jesus had awakened in me a desire for Him to tell a better story with my life than I was telling on my own. So, I began reaching out urgently to have Jesus be my hero regularly.
Heck, outside of Jesus, I still have no answers for my crisis of perpetual mental and physical pain and chaos. I could not, and cannot, rescue myself or order the chaos around me. It all came/comes at me too fast. I needed Jesus to rescue me in every way that mattered. I still do.

This analogy might seem like it is coming out of left field, but consider it: In the same way as a telescope like the Hubble or James Webb looks into the stars and reveals the world beyond Earth, when I started to look beyond myself to Jesus to save me, all of a sudden, I became a part of a story so much bigger than me—His “aJesusStory.” I realized my pain and crises were invaluable to my worship of Jesus Christ—my “aJesusStory”—I was desperate for Jesus to rescue me.

My suffering and desperation were the sparks that caused me to begin to depend on and trust that Jesus understood my pain in the same way He depended on and trusted in God, His Father, with His pain and suffering to tell the most extraordinary heroic story ever with His life—Jesus’ story—the first “aJesusStory.” My sufferings caused me agony, but they were the very things that guided me, in my state of desperate brokenness, back to Jesus. So, because of Bipolar disorder and chronic back pain, I chose to grab onto Jesus to live and tell a gritty but heroic story for others—my “aJesusStory.”
“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”—Romans 5:3-5

When you and I release control and become desperately dependent on Jesus to save the day in our words, actions, relationships and situations, our hope, expectation, rest, and obedience as the icon of Christ can increase because of our suffering. We eliminate hopelessness as a destination and begin to live a gritty “aJesusStory” that tells a heroic “aJesusStory” about Jesus. I know that reads a little clunky, but proper understanding and application of our sufferings shape our work as witnesses for Jesus. Then, our gritty lifestyles of worship can tell heroic stories about Jesus, inviting others who share in our sufferings to choose Jesus instead of hopelessness.
Your “aJesusStory” is the tool that can awaken a longing for Jesus in people who are being threatened by hopelessness—as you once were—and who do not know the purpose of suffering and desperation—but you do.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”—2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Scott and Kariann Box live in Redmond, Oregon. Scott serves as Pastor of Development at Shiloh Ranch Church and has been a worship leader for over twenty-five years. Kariann works as a Realtor in Central Oregon and supports Scott’s…creative spirit. They have two children, a one-hundred-pound Labradoodle and a four-pound Shih Tzu without teeth. Scott is the author of HEROIC DISGRACE: Order out of chaos. Hope out of fear. ― A Worship Hero Story