By Peggy Rice

I’ve just zipped up my suitcase; our flight leaves tomorrow afternoon.

I’ve spent the last several days throwing things I might want to take on the bed in the spare bedroom. Today, I did the laundry, so I’d have all my clothes to choose from. We’ve traveled enough that I have a pretty thorough packing list, but I still have to go through the list and choose…my list is different if I’m traveling to the Midwest for Christmas versus if we’re headed to the warm sandy beaches of the Sunshine State!

It made me think of my mental health journey, and the things I took along the way. My trip was long – over ten years of repeated episodes of major depression and its companion, anxiety. Some things I started my journey with, some things were added as I traveled along the mental health path, and some things got discarded when they became unnecessary.

I started my mental health crisis with fear and overwhelming sadness.

I was afraid of the future, of what my life would become when my children were heading to college, and I was left with an empty nest. In many ways, I pre-grieved. My oldest was just entering high school, and my youngest middle school, and I was already dreading the days when I would say good-bye to them in the college dorm parking lot! That was the fear – the anxiety: looking ahead and anticipating the worst-case scenarios, mulling them over and over.

The sadness came from depression – from looking back, and dwelling there. I’d moved back to a town we’d lived in 3 years prior, and it felt like everything was different. My church, my friends, my neighborhood (of course). I changed medical plans and had a new doctor. My dentist had retired, so I had to find a new one. The only thing that was the same was my hair stylist, but even there, it was different – she had started her own business, so the location and coworkers were different. I grieved the old relationships, the old ways, old patterns. It took me a long time to accept and move forward.

Along my depression journey, I picked up a fantastic Christian therapist. Week after week, he would listen to me as I poured out my confusion, and then he would put it all in order and give it back to me, so that I could make sense of all that I was feeling. He continually pointed me back to Christ, and back to my husband. He helped me confront lies that depression told me, things like: I’m not good enough, I will never have close friends again, I have no purpose outside of motherhood… He reminded me that I am first and foremost a child of God – that is my identity. My identity is not as a mom, nor as an old friend, but as a precious redeemed child of the King!  

I picked up some new ways of thinking, through the work we did in his office. He taught me that even though those thoughts were in my head – I could hear them, and they sure sounded like my voice! – they were actually lies that depression was telling me. He helped me begin to see depression as something outside of myself, almost like a creature perched on my shoulder – separate from me – and whispering these lies in my ear. As Pastor Brad says in the Fresh Hope for Mental Health book, I am not my diagnosis!

As I began to change my thinking, I tried to leave behind these lies. It was not easy! I had to be very intentional about recognizing the lies, and replacing them with the truth of God’s Word. So I discarded the lies and picked up truth. And one way I did that was through regular Bible reading – that’s where the truth is. Jesus is the Truth, so I spent time reading the “red letters” – the things that Jesus said. I spent a lot of time in the Gospels – reading the stories about what Jesus said and did, how He interacted with the people around Him.

Medication was added to my life. I found that I needed the right meds, which my psychiatrist helped me discover, to be able to work on the thinking patterns and eventually change them. It’s as if the meds made my thinking clear enough to then let me be able to focus on exchanging those lies I mentioned earlier for the truth.

Another thing I picked up along the way was support people. I had several friends, some new, some from years past, who were willing to learn about depression and what I was going through, and they offered me encouragement, which was especially meaningful on very dark days. They’d send a card, or a text – things like: It’s ok to not be ok. You’ll get through this. I’m here for you. My Bible Study was very accepting when I admitted my mental health struggle, and they prayed for and with me regularly. God blessed me with the safe people I needed. I’d always been a pretty strong independent woman, but now I had to put that independence down, and let others care for me. It was humbling, but so good. I learned what it means to accept help from the body of Christ…I had always been one to give, but now it was time to learn how to graciously receive.

After the 10+ years of depression and anxiety, I came out the other side. Came to the end of that part of the journey. And I was then in a place to evaluate the trip, and see if I’d learned any lessons, and what things I wanted to hold onto!

One of my take-aways is the need for rest. To not be over-the-top busy all the time, but to allow room for naps, for a slower pace, for interruptions. To relax, take a walk, read a book. Time for me.

Another thing I want to hold onto is about giving back. I want the lessons from my journey from mental illness to mental health to be available to others. I want to help folks who are struggling, because I know what it means to struggle. Granted, each person’s story and experience and journey are unique to them, but to be able to identify and acknowledge that the struggle is real is very comforting and reassuring for a person walking that path. It’s been a blessing for me to be able to walk with others, in my roles as a Fresh Hope Facilitator for a support group, and as a Hope Coach for Fresh Hope.

In fact, Fresh Hope is definitely one of the things I hold onto. The ministry of Fresh Hope, the people I’ve met through groups and one-on-ones and volunteers and staff, all are doing incredible work when it comes to helping people who are walking a mental health journey, either as someone with a diagnosis, or someone loving someone with a mental health challenge. Fresh Hope wants people to know that it’s possible to live well in spite of a mental health diagnosis. It’s a journey, but there’s much to be gained along the way. To learn more, check out the resources at freshhope.us.

Peggy has been involved with Fresh Hope as a Group Facilitator for over 6 years and as the Hope Coach Trainer for over 4 years. She can be reached at peggy@freshhope.us.

By Mike Jacquart

Certain mental health organizations zero in on secular approaches. They can be useful resources since mental health diagnoses have their roots in biological conditions, such as genes and brain chemistry; and life experiences, such as trauma or abuse. And yet, they may speak of a “higher power” but leave it up to the individual to determine what that “higher power” actually is.

Any Christian knows this higher power is God, but knowing this fact can still leave believers and their loved ones struggling to understand mental health challenges.

“Certain churchgoers believe that behavioral disorders are caused by demonic possession or are a result of the person’s lack of faith,” as I wrote in my book Climbing out of the Darkness: A Personal Journey into Mental Wellness. (For instance, ‘If you had prayed more, maybe you wouldn’t feel this bad.’)

“While not as harsh, I experienced a similar reaction in a Bible study class. It was common to ask participants to pray for someone with a physical condition, such as an upcoming operation. But when a member brought up her mental problems, no one knew what to say and so very little was expressed or discussed. The person’s concerns were not ignored but neither were they validated. I could relate and thought to myself, ‘Hey, we’re hurting too, you know!’”

As opposed to a “one or the other” approach, it’s the blending of the psychological and the spiritual that made Fresh Hope for Mental Health so appealing to me when I joined a support group eight years ago. I didn’t want to join a group that focused solely on the secular, leaving God nearly, if not entirely out of the equation.

On the other hand, I had suffered from depression and anxiety long enough, and on a prescribed medication long enough, that I knew faith alone wasn’t the answer either.

While it is a Christian organization, Pastor Brad Hoefs stresses that Fresh Hope meetings aren’t “hyperspiritual” either.

“I’ve seen many people who have little to no faith, no faith at all, or even have a different faith, come and be quite comfortable, because, more than anything it’s a safe place,” explains Hoefs.

In fact, changing our thinking is both faith-based and scientific. Neuroscience researcher Dr. Caroline Leaf points out that the average person has more than 30,000 thoughts a day! Thus, negative thoughts have the potential to turn each day inside out. It’s no wonder that Pastor Brad says we need to watch how much we ruminate or what he refers to as “stinkin’ thinkin” or toxic thoughts.

How do we go about this difficult task? Scripture offers clues, and Fresh Hope for Mental Health tenets include this verse from 2 Corinthians 10:5. “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

Is this easy? No. Does this take time? It sure does. From a faith perspective, Pastor Brad explains, “Toxic thinking needs to be taken captive, and in choosing healthy thinking and life-giving thoughts, choosing hope will grow your faith, increase your strength to believe, and ultimately change your brain chemistry.” I don’t know about the reader, but I’d much rather have positive brain chemistry than toxic thinking. Choose your thoughts wisely!

Wisely or not, since we are sinners, this remains an ongoing battle. Get better at your thoughts in one area, and the enemy is sure to strike in another. My current challenge involves focusing on positive posts, and spending as little time as possible on Facebook.

The popular social media platform has its good points. I’ve come across high school or college classmates I had not heard from in years. As an author, Facebook has been a great way for me to connect with people interested in purchasing one of my books. Online prayer requests also turn up regularly among Facebook friends and other contacts.

The bad part involves the namecalling and other political vitriol that shows up online – be it liberals criticizing conservatives, or conservatives blasting those with liberal thinking. Since the Bible says “judge not lest you be judged,” neither is a good idea regardless of one’s personal views on politics.

I am slowly understanding and following 2 Corinthians 10:5 more than I did a year, maybe even six months ago. Social media, of course, is but one challenge to mental wellness. It may be a different test entirely for someone else.

The point is, “You can’t keep doing things the same way and expect different results.” And so, if     the reader finds that a certain approach to healthy thinking is not working, try a different strategy. Emotional outbursts are easy, but patience is difficult. We want a quick fix, but life does not work that way. Recovery amd mental wellness takes time.

Remember, we are all running a marathon, and not a sprint. Don’t we all want to be able to say what Paul the apostle stated, “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.” (2 Timothy: 4-7).

Mike Jacquart belongs to a Fresh Hope support group and the author of “Climbing out of Darkness: A Personal Journey into Mental Wellness.”  https://www.amazon.com/Climbing-out-Darkness-Personal-Wellness/dp/B0BQ58KJH4   A retired magazine editor, Mike enjoys sharing his story of “pushing through” on blog posts, podcasts, and other presentations. For more information, contact him at michaeljacquart8@gmail.com.