Month: July 2021

A New Book for Those Who Love Someone with a Mental Illness!

A New Book for Those Who Love Someone with a Mental Illness!

“When it comes to mental illness, it is an equal opportunity provider of pain, struggles, and difficulties.  Those who have a mental illness and their loved ones are all subject to the layers of difficulties that mental illness brings into their relationships and life itself.  There is no doubt in my mind that being the loved one of someone who has a mental illness can be as difficult as having the illness itself.  I know because I am both one with a diagnosis and a loved one.  In fact, it is even possible for those who love someone with a mental illness to suffer even more than their loved one who has the diagnosis. It is so very difficult to watch someone you love suffer so much, and even more difficult when they refuse to be compliant in their treatment, or they continually self-sabotage their recovery.” (Taken from the opening introduction paragraph of “Holding to Hope: Staying Sane While Loving Someone with a Mental Illness.”)

Yes, you read that correctly!  Our newly published book for the loved ones of those who have a mental health issue will be released on August 1st!  (To pre-order the book, go to: Holding to Hope)

“One of the most helpful jobs a book can do is give us words to validate and define our experience.  In this book, you’ll receive those words, along with realistic encouragement and multilayered hope,” says Amy Simpson, author of Troubled Minds, Anxious, and Blessed Are the Unsatisfied

“Holding to Hope is refreshingly real and enormously useful.  The Hoefs open a window to their lives, sharing the challenges of living with a mental health challenge as husband and wife, a pastor and a pastor’s wife, parents, and friends to others.  Brad and Donna’s vulnerability and honesty are a testament to living a life of hope, learning how to lean into your circumstances, and coming out better.  You won’t regret reading this book.  In fact, you’ll give thanks for Brad and Donna’s lives that have now enriched thousands,” says Doug Beach, Chairman of the NAMI FaithNetNational Advisory Group, NAMI Instructor and Support Group Leader, NAMI San Antonio, Texas.

The entire first half of Holding to Hope is based upon the seven Fresh Hope principles of recovery for those who are loved ones of someone who has a mental health challenge.  Each of these chapters include thought-provoking questions as well real-life stories and spiritual insights.  The book’s first half lends itself towards even small groups of loved ones processing the content together.   (You can download one of the chapters for free by clicking here.). One of the ways that the Hoefs hope that the book will be used is for groups of those who love someone with a mental health challenge to use the book as a 12-week study guide.

The second half of the book is made up of shorter chapters that deal with various other issues such as living well and relationships. 

The release date of the book is August 1, 2021.  You can pre-order a signed copy of the book today by clicking here at the introductory price of $21, which includes shipping!  Xulon Press Elite is the publisher of the book.   The book is also available on Amazon and at Barnes and Nobel Online Bookstore.

Evan Owens, the founder of Reboot Recovery, says, “If you are serious about wanting to overcome or help someone overcome mental health challenges, this is a must-have book. You’ll find yourself referencing it time and again.  It is practical, insightful, and told by a couple that actually understands!”

This is the third book released by Fresh Hope for Mental Health.  The title of the first book is, Fresh Hope for Mental Health: Living Well in Spite of a Mental Health Challenge in English.  The second book released by Fresh Hope is the Spanish translation of the first book.

“Breaking the Ice” By Christian Coleman-Jones

“Breaking the Ice” By Christian Coleman-Jones

I’m going to break the ice with this post…

We protect our identity so much, spend so much time devising strategies to keep “them” from finding out, that we end our days exhausted, blaming it on work or the heavy day.

I’m not going to make excuses for who I am anymore. This is what it is, and I plan to live it with those who appreciate it, from now on.

I am a person who has great difficulty concentrating on work I don’t enjoy, nor on conversations that are not stimulating. I am easily distracted, which may suggest that I am superficial and not interested in what the other person has to say. I avoid mistakes in social situations, for fear of not being seen as perfect. I have always had difficulty associating with people I don’t know. If I feel that I have been or will be rejected, I can feel sad and angry for hours or days. I don’t have a great ability to control my emotions, therefore, I give the impression of being very intense. I feel everything in excess, there is no in-between.

All of this has a medical name. It is called Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. This is how I was born and even though I am working on ways to improve that, I still maintain the patterns. This is who I am, by the grace of God.

Many of you reading this haven’t seen me for years. Perhaps they were left with ideas, estimates of who I really am. Well, this is it.

What’s more, my 30 years of corporate experience were years I could have devoted to my true passions: Christ, above all things and people, giving myself to those in need of compassion and understanding, writing, music and anything that involves creativity.

But, with the best of intentions, I was instructed that being a businessman would bring financial and emotional stability. The truth is that there is no financial stability that brings emotional stability. I reached my goals and when I was at the top, there was nothing, everything was empty. I found full and permanent satisfaction in the name of Jesus. It doesn’t matter if you believe it or not. It’s who I am and I don’t make excuses for it.

The man with the short hair, suit, tie, and everything else has been a big mask. That’s not Christian, that’s an image of what society expected of me.

Today, I am a man free from the chains that bound me to an electrified cell. I have found that freedom in Christ. With Him I don’t have to pretend, or dress well, or have good relationships, or be efficient in my work, or be excellent in my career, no, I just need to believe, and He takes me as I am, without prejudice or conditions.

This authentic Christian was awakened 6 months ago when I was drastically diagnosed with ADHD. The first day of treatment changed my life completely. But am I the ADHD diagnosis? Not at all, that is one of several adjectives that define who I am. I am different, very different from what the social norm expects by that diagnosis, but it is what it is and that is not going to change unless God has other plans for me.

The invitation to you, who appreciate me, and I appreciate very much, have that pure and authentic freedom. Be genuine, be transparent, put yourselves at risk to love those you do not know, just as we have been loved infinitely.

My great life experience is that when I identify and understand what God created me for, and I carry it out, I find infinite and permanent satisfaction and joy. He wants me to be who I am and what I was created to be. And I find that that is precisely who I am – I am not ashamed of my eccentricities or my controversial ideas (which I always hope to convey gently), and above all, I … am … not … ashamed … of … the … name … of … Jesus!!!

I hope you are not ashamed of me, just the way I am.

I love you all very much.

The Secrets to Worship Your Way Out of Sorrow

The Secrets to Worship Your Way Out of Sorrow

During pain-plagued tragedies, when one must endure long days and late nights, sorrow threatens to overshadow any sense of hope. It’s a universal experience for sure…that jerk of reality and jumping lightyears into a realm of sorrow. It can appear inescapable, and last far longer than you’d have expected.

This new paradigm shift brings the strongest prayer warrior to their knees, but the wisest know the secret to finding the way out.

Already on their knees, they worship. And when it gets better, or worse, they worship.

Circumstances come and go, but praise is due to our God forever. And in a sorrowful state, we are being shaped. God is still using the bad to cause good to come from it. Surely, we can worship in the midst of any frame of mind.

Here are the secrets to worshipping your way out of sorrow, depression, and constant misery:

  1. Recognize what you’ve lost. Define it. Identify that it’s gone. That’s the first step in processing the trauma of the loss. If you need to express your grief and depression, look into talking with a counselor.
  2. Humble yourself. God opposes a proud heart, but a broken one can welcome Him into the pain. A mentor of mine once taught me that the fear of God is keeping in the front of your mind that He is with you at all times. Keep reminding yourself of His presence. It’s helpful to practice the next step in order to do that.
  3. Call on Him. Say the name: Jesus. That precious, powerful name. The only name. It’s the answer to every fear, every doubt, every weakness. And calling on him out of your pain will light the flame you need to see out of the darkness of your sorrow.
  4. Praise Him! I can’t stress his enough – if there was a way to highlight, bold, underline and italicize – this point is most important. Lifting our praise in song or voice to God is where the tables are turned. Demons flee, Satan cowers, situations change, and the whole spiritual environment quakes at the praise of His glory. Give Him credit, glory, a great name! He is for us! What isn’t to praise? Turning our eyes onto Jesus in the darkest of nights will cause “the things of this world [to] grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace,” as the old hymn goes.

If that’s true, then after you’ve recognized the loss, humbled yourself, called on Jesus, and essentially done all you could do to put the sorrow to rest, you find the victory comes. Maybe not right away, but in discipline and earnest prayers and supplications and praise, we can eventually rest in victory.

Acting on a command like “rejoice always” is not dependent on our feelings or emotional state. The scriptures don’t tell us to “let your feelings dictate your actions” – but rather, the action changes that scripture commands bring about emotion and spirit changes. Don’t believe me? Try it. Apply it. And then come back and let me know how it went for you. I doubt you’ll be disappointed.

Disclaimer: For someone dealing with excessive sorrow and depression for more than a month, you should consider talking to a certified counselor and even a psychiatrist for medication management. The effects of clinical depression can be long, lingering and debilitating, and unnoticed can cause more harm than good. Take counsel and medications as prescribed by a certified clinician. Always consult with a doctor for appropriate mental health treatment and care.

About the author:

Hey there! I’m Katie Dale, familiar with the storms of mental illness, and I blog about my faith and how it has informed my brain-based disorder at BipolarBrave.com. I also have a memoir out about my journeys through the psych wards and how I found peace of mind with psych meds (by the grace of God) – you can find it on Amazon here. Since my former profession of case manager at a behavioral clinic, I’ve stepped into the role of stay-at-home mommy to Kylie. And I get to travel the world with Chris, my man in uniform. Aside from that, I could live off mac ‘n cheese, and I still hold onto my aspiration to run a sub-20-minute 5k. Come find me and say hi on social media @KatieRDale. Stay bold, brave, and real.