by Peggy Rice

This has been an overwhelming, exhausting, frustrating couple of weeks. If it weren’t for many people praying for me, I’m honestly not sure how I would have remained upright.

In all of the chaos of caring for aging parents who live far away, and the emergencies that came along with that in these past few weeks, I can say that God sustained me through it all. He and I had many conversations – sometimes I was begging for His help, sometimes I was confessing my attitude, sometimes I was asking Him for strength and provision and peace. And He met me: Every. Step. Of. The. Way.

“And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19 NLT

“By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.” 2 Peter 1:3-4 NLT

When I think about the many ways that God met my needs – His perfect timing over and over again, the way the Holy Spirit would bring to my mind just the perfect verse for the moment… For example, one of those first nights that I learned about my mom’s fall, I woke in the middle of the night with my mind racing (isn’t it always worst at night?). I was near panic, experiencing fear like I’d never had before; I couldn’t think straight, I was unable to focus on God’s character.  All those tools of meditation that I talked about last month – not working! And then, this verse cut through the noise in my head and calmed me immediately: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV.

As I reflect on this, I am reminded about how He helped me when I went through 10 years of depression. I admit, I didn’t always feel God’s presence. But looking back, I can see God’s fingerprints all over my experience with my mental health crisis.

Firstly, God provided my caring and loving husband, who accepted that I was going through a tough time, and helped me in so many ways. Sometimes just listening. Sometimes administering my meds. Always there, solid.

Secondly, I had a Christian counselor, who helped me process – week after week – all that I was feeling. He continually pointed me back to Christ, and back to my husband. He listened well, and then would make sense of all that I’d just said, and give it back to me in a way that was organized, instead of the chaotic thoughts that were in my head.

I had a very good friend who listened to me for countless hours. I probably said the same things over and over, but she was patient and she prayed for me and with me. She, too, kept pointing me back to Christ.

I had other friends, too, who reached out to us, with meals and cards and prayers.

My psychiatrist was a Christian, and truly a God-send, as he helped me through very difficult side effects from me taking the wrong medication for 1½ years. He was patient and kind and gentle and encouraging.

Pastor Brad, in his book Fresh Hope for Mental Health, talks about having a team, an accountability group, of safe people who can surround you and support you in your mental health journey. I had that, and am confident that they sustained me through my darkest days.

I was willing to take medications, which allowed my mind to stop racing, so that then I could practice taking “captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”  2 Corinthians 10:5b NIV. The effect of the medications was that I was able to change my thinking, with lots of help from my therapist.

As I look back on that long depression journey, I can clearly see times that I let go of God. But He never let go of me! And in my clearer moments of thinking, I knew that. I may not have felt it, but I knew it.

I am so grateful that I had memorized some Scriptures as a child, and the Holy Spirit often assured me by bringing pieces of those passages to mind. I also had a book, called God’s Promises for Every Day, which I used to look at verses that directly applied to what I was feeling (depression, anxiety, loneliness, etc.).

Remember the song from Sunday School, The B-I-B-L-E? “I stand alone on the Word of God…” This is where what I knew about God, not what I felt, came into play. I knew that God is good, that He is in control, that He loves me no matter what I’m going through. I knew He had promised to always be with me, to never leave me nor forsake me, to hear my cries for help. So even though I may not have felt these things, I knew them to be true.

It reminds me of why it’s so important that I read God’s Word daily, so I can plant His Scripture in my head and heart. And the Holy Spirit will then bring those truths to mind as I need them. If it’s hard to read the Bible (for me, the words often swam all over the page, and I couldn’t focus), a book like I mentioned above can be helpful. Snippets of applicable Scripture – I could manage just reading one at a time, and it helped me keep my focus on God.

I also wrote in my journal – a lot! Many of my entries were prayers – for help, for a sense of God’s Presence, for relief from the mental pain. I cried out to God, like David does in the Psalms.

One of God’s names in Scripture is Jehovah Jireh – the Lord will provide. And He does.

I encourage you to call out to Him, tell Him what you’re feeling. Tell Him what you think you need (remember, though, that He knows better than you do!). Ask Him to provide people who can support you in your mental health journey. Consider joining a Fresh Hope Support Group, or seek a short-term relationship with a Hope Coach from Fresh Hope. You do not have to walk this journey alone. God will give you all you need, so that you can walk through with hope.

Peggy has been involved with Fresh Hope as a Group Facilitator for over 6 years and as the Hope Coach Trainer for over 4 years. She can be reached at peggy@freshhope.us.

By Mike Jacquart

“Self-care” is a term I wish I would have known more about years ago, as it would have saved me a lot of grief and reoccurrances into depression. As an editor for a Christian newsletter publishing company, I wrote about the topic for audiences like foster parents. Self-care made perfect sense for them.  But writing about something without actually experiencing it yourself is not the same thing!

 Case in point: After years of wondering why I had a difficult time keeping a job, I was finally diagnosed with ADHD and depression twenty years ago. My prescribed medication (Wellbutrin, and later Prozac as well) helped a great deal in terms of improving my mood, concentration, and other positives. It was truly a blessing that worked well most of the time.

And so, four years after my diagnosis, on the trip of a lifetime to Alaska, I was taken aback when I began having a depressive episode that occurred shortly after a friend fell and injured her ankle while on a whale-watching excursion. It was a cruel reminder to me that, even with medication, it was still possible to experience depression. I’ve never been good at faking it, so my wife and friends could not figure out why I was not having a good time. I told them it was due to not getting enough sleep. That was partly true, but I knew there was more to it than that. Sure, I crawled out of it, but it likely took nearly a day. That’s a long time when you’re supposed to be on vacation.

Marina London, LCSW, explained what was going on in my book, Climbing Out of Darkness: A Personal Journey into Mental Wellness. “Depression is an illness. Just like your friend’s ankle was not going to stop hurting because you were on the trip of a lifetime, neither was your depression,” London wrote. “Sometimes medications stop being effective. The fix can be as simple as increasing the dosage. In addition, and ironically, vacations can be stressful in their own way, unfamiliar, rushed, even strenuous at times.”

But it was the “for no apparent reason” depression I experienced in Alaska that caught me off guard. While depressive incidents weren’t common, I had no idea why they occurred nor what to do about them when they did happen. Since I was feeling better most of the time, I did not think a lot about my episodes. But years later, in May 2017, we had to have our beloved Maltese, Baxter, put down, and the resulting grief and depression took me the rest of the year to get through. The experience shook me to the core as I thought I was over major depression! Marina said in my book I was probably experiencing prolonged grief disorder.  Perhaps personal therapy would have helped me get over it sooner. But I never thought about pursuing it.

I was desperate for coping strategies, so when a friend asked me to join a local Fresh Hope group, which I knew nothing about at the time, I gladly accepted. The following are among the coping strategies I’ve learned in Fresh Hope, as well as a few on my own.

* We have the choice of getting better or getting worse. I loved the fact that Fresh Hope meetings weren’t pity pots in which we did little but complain about our afflictions. The “Therefore, I choose” phrase in the tenets was a crucial phrase I had not thought of before.

* We’re all going through something. Learning about other people’s troubles in a group setting is a comforting reminder that we are not alone in our struggles. In fact, I’ve found that listening to the struggles of others helps me to realize that maybe my problems weren’t as big as I thought they were.

* Learning about radical acceptance has helped me a lot. We discuss self-care strategies periodically in our meetings, and “radical acceptance” has been the most useful lesson for me. Before that, when I was depressed, I was simply told “get over it,” but no one ever explained to me how to get over my challenge! In understanding this concept, I came to realize there are many things in life we don’t agree with, or wish were different, but “it is what it is” and we have to learn to accept it. “Accept” is not the same thing as “agree.” You can accept what someone says without agreeing with them. Consider: It’s Wednesday, and since I’m not having a good day (some unexpected bills came in the mail), I was really looking forward to Fresh Hope on Thursday. Except the forecast was for 3-5 inches of snow, so our group facilitator cancelled. The bad news made my awful day even worse. Or did it? I was allowing my thoughts to choose me, instead of me choosing my thoughts. As Dr. Caroline Leaf says, the average person has more than 30,000 thoughts a day! Thus, negative thoughts have the potential to turn any given day inside out. Instead of stewing about the news, I could have done something more positive, like read a hopeful scripture or listen to a particularly inspirational song.

* Consider personal therapy.  While Fresh Hope has been very beneficial, there are some occasions when a more one-on-one setting can be useful as well. Group settings just don’t always offer enough personal time when one is really troubled. As a result, I have a therapist through my health insurance that I see periodically when something is really bothering me.

* Don’t overlook exercise, music, prayer or other possibilities. What are you doing when you feel really alive? Whatever it is that truly motivates you is something you should be doing more often regardless of what it is. As one example, I think a lot of people overlook the mental as well as physical benefits of exercise. There is a good reason why doctors recommend that people suffering from anxiety or depression pencil in gym time. During workouts, the body releases multiple hormones, including endorphins and serotonin. These hormones naturally help improve mood, cognition, and concentration. When I was depressed about losing my dog, riding my bike was very therapeutic. Sure, getting on it wasn’t always easy, but I always felt at least a little better afterward. Maybe music is more your bag. Since we often feel music as much as we listen to it, I’ve found that favorite tunes will often lift me out of a funk. Or what about reciting a favorite scripture? Proverbs 3:5-6 is encouraging for me.

The point is, whether it’s a simple walk around the block, a 3-mile bike ride, or prayer time with the Lord, be sure and do something when you’re depressed. I know getting my mind off depression or anxiety, if even briefly, will help me feel better. Self-help strategies like these are well worth your time to try out.

Mike Jacquart belongs to a Fresh Hope support group and the author of “Climbing out of Darkness: A Personal Journey into Mental Wellness.”  https://www.amazon.com/Climbing-out-Darkness-Personal-Wellness/dp/B0BQ58KJH4   A retired magazine editor, Mike enjoys sharing his story of “pushing through” on blog posts, podcasts, and other presentations. For more information, contact him at michaeljacquart8@gmail.com.