By Jamie Meyer

Having a mental health diagnosis can make it difficult to care for ourselves. For people who don’t have a diagnosis, self-care is mostly a matter of choosing and making time for the things that will lead to better health. For those of us with a brain illness, it isn’t quite that simple. The question we’re more likely to ask ourselves is “Am I able?” Ability is the key word here because there are times when our symptoms can prevent us from caring for ourselves as well as we’d like.

Although we often think of self-care as something we do, it also means protecting our thought life. Nothing good comes from feeling ashamed when you can’t get out of bed or can’t concentrate because of racing thoughts.

We need to stop comparing ourselves to people who don’t have a diagnosis and let go of the messages from our culture that tell us productivity defines our value as a person. We need to be more gentle with ourselves and accept the truth–even if we don’t “feel” it’s true–that we have great value because we are God‘s creation and are loved unconditionally by Him.

After being diagnosed with Bipolar 2, I spent many years telling myself that my life was less valuable because I could no longer work full-time or take part in all the activities I had before. I beat myself up for being lazy and not trying hard enough. I felt ashamed because I didn’t want to be around other people.

When I began to interact with like-minded people in our Fresh Hope group, I came to realize that they too felt “less than” after their diagnosis. I learned from them that it’s okay to make caring for myself a priority. I felt understood and no longer needed to hide in shame.

I’ve come to accept that I’m not the same person I was before being diagnosed. But you know what? Neither is anyone else. Everyone grows and changes over time whether they have a diagnosis or not.

I’m learning to focus on the things I’m able to do, activities that are fulfilling yet keep me mentally stable. I work evenings part-time so I don’t have to get up early and I volunteer in smaller but just as valuable ways.

Another way I care for myself is by giving back to people like myself who live with the challenges of a mental health condition. In 2012, I put my personal journey into words when I wrote the book, “Stepping Out of Depression: Fresh Hope for Women Who Hurt” (available on Amazon). I wanted women to know they were not alone in dealing with depression, that true hope and healing are possible.

I also find fulfillment in giving encouragement and support to the wonderful people in our Fresh Hope group. Doing so helps me feel like I’m making a difference in my small corner of the world.

Caring for yourself involves more than eating right, exercising and reducing stress. It includes having supportive relationships and being involved in something that is meaningful to you. Self-care also means accepting the truth that you have value and purpose because of who you are, not what you do. You choose to let go of shameful thoughts and stop putting yourself down.

When we decide to make self-care a priority, life can become more satisfying and meaningful. Although we may not escape the ongoing challenges of our brain illness, we significantly improve our chances of living well in spite of it.

By Sandy Turney

What do you feel when you read “wait patiently”?

For me, it brings up uncomfortable feelings! I like everything under control, and I like to control things as much as I possibly can. I don’t like to wait until the last minute to do things. I make lists and check things off as I go.  So waiting patiently is difficult for me. I feel more calm if I know what is expected or what will be happening next.  This is something I have to continually work at.

However, during difficult times, whether it’s a time of depression or having to adjust medications and waiting for them to work, I find it extremely challenging to be patient. I feel anxious and sometimes lost when I have no control. Waiting for medication to work can sometimes take a few weeks, and when we are having problems with our mental health, we all want to feel better NOW, right?

Once I was having a rough time with depression. I was trying to work through it by paying attention to my triggers and using all the tools I’ve learned to move through it. My depression became worse to the point I went to see my psychiatrist. By this time, I had dealt with it for a few months so I was really in a bad place. My doctor adjusted some of my medications and after two weeks I discovered it was causing some side effects as well as not working. So then we had to make more adjustments. Overall, it took a lot more time than I “had planned”.

In the in-between time, I was struggling. As you know, when you feel sad, cry a lot, become irritable or angry, it’s not fun and, for me, I want it fixed fast. So what happens to me in these times is I search, think, and try to figure out what I can do to make it better as quick as possible. I read articles and/or books and it seems my mind is continually thinking about what I can change to get things “normal” for me.

I constantly seek to find something I can control. And therein lies the issue, I’m trying to control things and not be patient. During this particular time, I found one of my study books which gave verses for particular areas in our lives. I looked through it and asked God to show me what He wanted me to do. I read for awhile and came across Psalms 37:7 “Be still in the presence of the Lord and wait patiently for him to act.” Immediately, the verse stuck out to me. I thought ‘really Lord, you know who you’re talking to, right?’ I sat reading the verse and I began to write it over and over; writing is therapeutic for me. I continued to talk with God and I believe He was telling me to just wait on Him. Strangely enough, it felt like the verse gave me permission; permission to rest and not be in a tizzy trying to make something happen, trying to control things….just wait.

So I did just that. When I came home from work I used that time to read, study, relax, and go to bed early. I didn’t feel like I had to be in control. Instead of searching, I had more time to be with God and let Him take care of things while I was waiting to feel better.

So I would like to encourage you to try a few things:
1. Give yourself permission to wait patiently for God to act, because He has already given us permission.
2. Learn and monitor your triggers.
3. Use the “waiting” moments to take care of yourself and draw closer to God.

By Jamie Meyer

Wouldn’t living with a mental health challenge be easier if we knew the answer to that question? If you’re starting to have some symptoms or feel out of balance, you might blame it on stress or a difficult situation you’re dealing with. Having more trouble getting out of bed? You might think it’s just part of the normal ups and downs of depression. If I go several days or weeks without sleeping well, I tend to chock it up to staying up too late or trying to do too much during the day.

Certainly, life circumstances can trigger symptoms, but we sometimes forget to consider that our medications may be the cause. After being diagnosed, most of us go through a period of trial and error before finding the right medication or combination of meds to treat our symptoms. My heart goes out to those of you who have tried to find a medication(s) that will provide relief from your symptoms but haven’t had success. Keep pressing on. Don’t give up on working with your doctor to explore alternative treatments.

Some people experience long periods of wellness and stability and then suddenly crash, often leading to hospitalization in order to change medications quickly. Others may experience a gradual change that is largely unnoticeable until symptoms become more obvious.

I recently experienced a slow, downward slide that started in May of last year and I finally decided to ask my provider if anything could be done. I explained to her that over the previous twelve months I wasn’t functioning or feeling as well as I had over the past couple of years. Specifically, I didn’t have much motivation and I was losing interest in doing things I normally enjoy. My mood was pretty good most of the time which, for having bipolar ll, was a positive. So the nagging question in my mind, one that often prevents us from discussing these concerns with our provider: “Is it just me not dealing with my circumstances well or trying hard enough to stay healthy, or are my meds not working as well as they did before?”

Rather than take me off my antidepressant, my provider added a second antidepressant that affects energy levels and motivation. Unfortunately, the first one sent my appetite through the roof and I quickly packed on the pounds; plus I didn’t feel any better! The second med she prescribed took a couple weeks to work but when it kicked in I noticed a big difference. My mind felt more alert, I didn’t feel like sitting around all day, and I started cleaning out closets!

So to answer the question, “Is it time for a med change?” I would first talk to your provider about the changes you’ve noticed, whether they’re physical, mental and/or emotional. If you’re not scheduled to see him or her soon, I encourage you to make an appointment and not wait until things get worse. Don’t tell yourself it’s no big deal and that you shouldn’t bother them. One of the biggest mistakes I hear people make is to adjust their meds on their own, either increasing them or abruptly stopping a new one. Your provider has the education and experience to address your particular symptoms and, if necessary, to adjust or change your meds.

Secondly, be willing to work with your provider until you find a med that improves your symptoms. If the first one doesn’t help or the side effects are intolerable, don’t just give up and not go back. None of us like the trial and error process, but isn’t it worth the effort to find a med that helps you feel better mentally and emotionally? Don’t settle for anything less than feeling as well as possible with your particular diagnosis and having the ability to live a full and satisfying life.