By Pastor Dale Rose

While pastoring First Assembly of God in Montclair, California, my wife Martha and I struggled in raising a son who was making wrong choices that affected his life and ours.   There came a point where we attended a Southern California Network Conference where Dr. Richard Dobbins was the speaker.   We went to the conference in a broken condition.  The week previous we had asked our son to leave our home because of his conduct.  We felt that our decision to ask Steve to leave was within the boundaries we had established in our home.

On the first night, at the end of the service, Dr. Dobbins asked for those who were having trouble in their homes to stand.   We knew we had to stand but were astonished to be among a large number of ministers who were also standing. 

Thank God there came a point where our son turned around.  Once again, he was a part of the church and doing well and felt a call to ministry.  It had been over three years since he graduated from high school and going to college didn’t seem like a possibility……but God.

One Sunday during our annual missions convention we were dining with the convention speaker, Dr. Doug Peterson, from Costa Rica.   He was also a professor at Southern California College (now Vanguard University).  Dr. Peterson encouraged our Steve to pursue the application process and told him being twenty two years old would not be a hindrance.

Steve applied and was accepted to attend Southern California College.  He did well academically and completed his degree in Religion.  We took him to Hawaii to celebrate his graduation.  While there we visited a friend who was the Pastor of a Calvary Chapel.   Our friend, Scott Gillis, invited Steve to stay and become their Youth Pastor.

Months later he came home during the holidays and a discussion about student loans came up.   Steve had to work at a secular job in Hawaii as the remuneration was minimal.   That job ended when  the construction project was done,  he couldn’t find another job.

It was decided that he would return home and find ministry and employment on the mainland.  As he entered the work force it seemed that there were problems everywhere.   He felt the people around him didn’t like him.  He worked several jobs, and it became evident to us that there seemed to be some paranoia involved.  Soon the paranoia was evident at work  and everywhere.   He thought that a neighborhood friend wanted to kill him.   When we left the house, he ducked down in the back seat so no one would see or hurt him.

Steve thought that one of his former professors, Dr. Sam Southerd,  might help him with some answers.   Dr. Southerd had some contacts at Fuller Seminary in the Psychology Department, and they took Steve into the program to do a study.   The results were not good, the diagnosis was schizophrenia.

As we searched for answers to mental health questions, we attended a conference called Mental Health and The Church at Saddleback Church, where Rick Warren was pastor.  It was a great event with speakers from all over the nation.   As I perused all the books before the conference began, I found one that got my attention.   Fresh Hope for Mental Health by Brad Hoefs.

Brad’s story is amazing!  His book presents seven tenets that are building blocks for recovery.  After the conference I sat down with Wendell Vinson and Steve Vinson, the Lead and Executive Pastors of our church.   I told them that there was a faith based mental health program called Fresh Hope and that Martha, Steve and I would like to facilitate it.  They were immediately onboard!

We took three months to plan and educate ourselves on the mechanics of being facilitators and published a start date.  Steve was excited, he was going to have ministry again! Three weeks from our start date we got a call from Steve’s roommate saying he had just come home and found Steve dead.  Devastated, we thought that he committed suicide.   Dealing with ideations of suicide was one of the things Steve dealt with.  It took us three months to receive the results of the autopsy;  Steve had died from a heart attack.   He had no diagnosis of a heart condition although he did have high blood pressure sometimes.

It has been ten years since we lost Steve.  It has been ten years since we started Fresh Hope For Mental Health.   We are now Ambassadors at a National level and do our best to tell people about a free faith based mental health program.  Fresh Hope is now in fifteen countries and the book has been translated into three languages.  Facilitator training is not difficult and is done entirely online.  Your church can have Fresh Hope!  Can we help you?

Pastor Dale Rose, Minister of Congregational Care  Canyon Hills AG Bakersfield, California

By Chantele Olivo

To Whom It May Concern

Yes, this Letter is for YOU!

Guess what? Has anyone thanked you today for being you? I wanted to thank you today. Would you allow me to? I thought of you while I prayed for you today, I held you in my thoughts and released it to the air nothing out loud or boisterous but a sweet exhale. I thought in the back of my mind, I hope you’re doing all right, that beyond a shadow of doubt we hold you tight in our minds, but perhaps you’re struggling or are you okay for today, but I just wanted to thank you. You may ask yourself why? For being part of the team of Fresh Hope…yes, you! I thought that maybe you didn’t understand how gratitude works…how for some of us it is a lifestyle that changed us. The person writes and thinks to themselves about what or whom they are grateful for. In a short reply I am grateful to YOU! Just in case you come across anything in life to be grateful for think about this…Thankful you showed up, thankful you listened, and took charge of your wellness. Your taking care of yourself so thank you for that is what life is all about. I hope that you may know that you are valued like gold, appreciated, and esteemed for others to see, important like the gift you give to others, indispensable heirloom, precious and loved like the helpful person you are, prized treasured possession, and respectable beyond these four walls. We all come from different pies, but different pies bring different experiences to the dinner table so thanks for being part of not only Fresh Hope but grateful you are here…We are thankful you are part of this team. Please hold yourself to the same degree what you are to me should be worth noting that you are truly gifted to see how essential you truly are, so I invite you to be joyful for who you are today and S.T.A.N.D. You are sacrificial in nature, teachable, Awesome, Necessary, and Deserving. 

In Dearest and Highest Regards

Chantele Olivo

By Mike Jacquart

Single. Divorced. Widowed. Childless. If you can check one or more of these, this blog post is especially for you.

There are many great benefits in belonging to a Fresh Hope or other support group. It’s an opportunity to share your troubles, celebrate personal victories, and every step in between. Perhaps best of all, since participants either have a mental health diagnosis, or are the loved one of an individual with a mental health challenge, participants understand these challenges all too well.

While this is largely the case, gaps in understanding can still remain. Which brings us back to the first paragraph in this post. It’s been my experience at least, that the majority of group members are married with children. If this isn’t the case, what then? In my 30+ year career in publishing, I experienced working mainly with married people when I was single, and working largely with single coworkers when I was married. In both cases, it was not easy to relate, “to fit in.”

For the most part, I have felt I “fit in” in my group. And that is certainly a blessing! But even if you’re married, not having kids can be a barrier. Especially during holiday seasons, married participants with kids will discuss the challenges in kids coming home – cleaning the house, shopping, cooking, and especially, the worries about everyone getting along. These are definitely legitimate concerns!

The point is, if you are in any of the “subgroups” listed at the beginning of this blog post, you may have a difficult time relating to the stressful family issues of fellow group participants. As a caring Christian, I want to relate, I want to empathize. But this is not easy when you don’t share the same experiences, like you do when discussing mental health challenges.

The reverse is also true: Individuals with kids may dismiss your thoughts on the matter, saying you don’t know how lucky you are to not have these family problems to deal with.  Perhaps so, but such statements do little to validate one’s feelings.

After all, whatever the holiday, many of these gatherings center on children, grandchildren, plenty of food, etc. Have they given a thought to what it’s like having no one to visit because Mom and Dad are deceased. Or no children or grandkids to visit, or to visit your home.  It can leave you feeling empty and very left out, since it’s largely just another day.

As a result, while I certainly have fond memories of family gatherings with parents, siblings, etc., they do not always help in the here and now. 

I need to stress that I did not write this blog to gain sympathy. I have A LOT to be thankful for – a great wife, wonderful friends, siblings, a terrific little dog, etc. All I ask is to be given an opportunity to have my feelings validated on subject matter that can all too quickly be dismissed amidst other concerns in a group setting.

Maybe I’m being a tad harsh and group participants “get me” more than I might think. After all, I know everyone in the group is, first and foremost, a caring Christian regardless of individual differences. In any case, it is important to recognize different perspectives that we might otherwise overlook.

Mike Jacquart belongs to a Fresh Hope support group and the author of “Climbing out of Darkness: A Personal Journey into Mental Wellness.” He enjoys sharing his story of “pushing through” on blog posts, podcasts, and other presentations. For more information, contact him at madjac@tds.net.

By Peggy Rice

I just returned home last night after a 5-day journey across the country. From Colorado to Wisconsin and back again, almost 2300 miles. I want to use that trip to draw some parallels to our journey from mental illness to mental health. This is for those who struggle with mental health challenges, but also applies to those who love someone in such a battle.

The Journey Can Feel Long

It took only 5 days to go and come home, but each day felt like it would never end! This can be true when we walk the journey of mental health – days drag on – day after day of fighting the depression or the anxiety or whatever the symptoms may be. It seems like there is no end in sight! Moments become minutes which become hours, which become days, weeks, months, sometimes years. For some people, mental health challenges may be a life-long journey – often 3 steps forward and 2 steps back. Will the end of the road ever come into view?

While it’s hard to think of waiting a lifetime for relief, for many, the experience is not life-long, but has a beginning and an end. Maybe it’s just one episode. Maybe it starts in the teen years, then comes back in mid-life. And we can know that the journey will eventually have an end. When we reach heaven, we will be completely healthy. No mental illness, no emotional struggles. Complete and whole.

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” 2 Corinthians 4:17 NIV  Of course, mental health struggles don’t feel light and momentary. But when compared to an eternity with Christ, they are just a blip in time.

Don’t Go It Alone

This cross-country trip had me and my husband in the front seats. On my mental health journey, I had my husband, sister, best friend, church friends, therapist, psych doc, general doc, plus many old friends from where I had previously lived, who I reached out to via emails. I was not alone, though it sure felt like it at times! But the truth is, there were people who cared about me, who prayed for and with me, who encouraged me.

I highly encourage you to find someone, or some people, who can walk your mental health journey with you. Find a safe person – someone who is willing to walk the long journey. A pastor, or Bible Study teacher, or girlfriend, or family member. Certainly a therapist and psych doc. Fresh Hope (freshhope.us) has online support groups, if you can’t find anyone in your area.

Take Breaks

It was important on our car trip that we stopped to go the bathroom and stretch our legs. Every couple of hours! We need to do the same thing as we journey with mental health struggles. Build in some time and space to think about something other than your mental health challenge. Volunteer someplace, go to the library, walk around a pond, stretch before getting into bed – anything to break the normal routine.

Be Kind To Yourself

On our trip, our mornings started pretty early, but I am not a morning person, so I often took a nap or two along the way. We drank water, and ate snacks (both healthy and a little junk food).  Same for the mental health journey: take naps, eat healthy, stay hydrated, allow yourself a treat (Is it chocolate? Ice cream? – just a little!).

Medicine Can Help

A couple of times, I took a pain reliever before I went to bed – my body was sore from being cramped in the car for so many hours, and I had kinks that stretching didn’t relieve. Often in mental health struggles, a prescription from your general or psych doc might be helpful to get your brain working right again, to get those neurons firing the way they’re supposed to. Medicine doesn’t fix it all, but I found that it lifted me up enough from the depths of despair to allow me to begin to think clearly, and to have the ability to work on my thoughts and stop the ruminating.

 There May Be Moments of Joy – Celebrate Them!

One night, we stopped at my parents’ house for a few hours, and got to visit and eat dinner together. Another night, we were with my sister-in-law. And another with my daughter and son-in-law. There was laughter, and relaxing together. This interruption to the journey can happen in mental health, too. Not all days, not all moments, are down and dark, or full of anxiety. Even if it’s just a brief reprieve, allow yourself to enjoy it. While you may not celebrate it like you would without a mental health challenge, even a little celebration of the change in routine is healthy. And in fact, as you heal, there will be more of those moments and less of the hard ones!

Certainly, the journey we walk from mental illness to mental health is not easy. But we do not walk it alone. Jesus is with us every step of the way. And there are things we can do that will aid in our healing, and make the journey bearable, even productive.

At the end of your journey, you will have a story to tell. Of God’s faithfulness to you as you walked along toward mental health.

Peggy has been involved with Fresh Hope as a Group Facilitator for 5 years and as the Hope Coach trainer for 3. You can reach her at peggy@freshhope.us