By Mike Jacquart

“The past is your teacher. The present is your opportunity. The future is your reward.”

Because it is such a true statement, I thought this quote by Canadian author Matashona Dhliwayo made a perfect lead-in for this topic.

In Fresh Hope: Living well in Spite of a Mental Health Diagnosis, Roy Lessin states on page 13: “But God has promised to restore the things the enemy has stolen from our lives:…”

Indeed. As I’ve read and re-read Lessin’s insightful “God is a Restorer,” I have pondered the occasions when I felt defeated in life and in my career, all the disappointments, and the good things I missed when I was wallowing in self-pity or suffering from a lack of self-esteem.

While I was not diagnosed with a mental health diagnosis until I was unemployed in my early 40s, depression and anxiety have reared their ugly heads for most of my life. When you’re a boy and not good with your hands, not coordinated enough to help fix a car, throw a football very well, or hit a baseball (at all)  my school-age years were extremely hurtful. With a low self-image, I had few friends, and much of the time I was lonely, sad, and with little direction as to what I could do well.  There were no aptitude tests in those days. Life was trial and error, and I mostly failed.

When I read Mr. Lessin’s “all the years of lost joy, all the times of frustration and defeat, all the moments of regret” – wow, I thought. I can sure relate! The occasional regrets about the girls I never asked out, the joy I lost over my poor social life as I never went to school dances. I also recalled the frustration and defeat over my lack of motor skills, which left me on the sideline when classmates were picking sports teams, or teasing me when I couldn’t climb a rope in gym or build a tabletop wagon in woodworking class.

After high school, and as I also wrote about in my book, Climbing Out of Darkness: A Personal Journey into Mental Wellness, things got even worse. I had no ambition and little idea what I wanted to do in life. Completely unmotivated or passionate about anything, it was no big surprise that I was frequently out of work. Finally, with the local economy in the toilet, and inspired by the smart friends I met late in my high school years and who were doing well in college, I finally enrolled in the area community college at age 23. This proved to be the first of many steps on the road to an improved mental state. I got good grades, met new friends, and I found out I was a good writer, which was often a prequisite for college success regardless of the major one chose. I had some self-esteem at last! Later on, not aware of my undiagnosed mental health challenges, I had a lot of work problems, but I thought they were mostly just about being in the wrong job, As I said, it was many years before I sought psychiatric help.

Even today, those of us who have been diagnosed and sought help, understand we cannot do anything about some of the pain and regrets in our past. But much more importantly, Fresh Hope members believe that God will restore the things stolen from our lives. Here are just a few of the examples I could name, some of which appear in my book.

I know that my mental state and thought life are clearly better than they were in the past. I worked as a newspaper reporter for ten years, and even then, I found meeting and talking to new people difficult. I did not understand at the time that feelings of isolation and problems forming relationships are common traits of depression. Today, as the more self-confident and positive person I had longed to be back then, I can yak like a magpie in public and chat with just about anybody.

Further, advancing from reporting to editing later on proved difficult, which hurt my already shaky self-confidence and left me wondering if I should give it up and stick to writing. I was even told as much in some poor work reviews. As the ultimate restorer, God had a better plan. As it usually unfolds when God is the teacher, it takes time and patience, but I learned years later that the Almighty was at work. In 2010, ten years after being told I wasn’t good at editing, I became the editor of a magazine for an international employee assistance association. After getting past the initial jitters one has in any new endeavor, I developed positive work relationships and became friends and acquaintances with people from around the world. I even traveled to the association’s conferences in major cities in the US such as Denver, San Diego, and others! It was another BIG boost in self-esteem!

Not every second chance needs to involve something big. While in college, I had an internship at a local TV station. I was never on the air, but that was ideal because I would have been terrified to be in front of a camera. In much more recent times, I had the opportunity to chat about my published books on podcasts and local TV shows. I was not even nervous, let alone scared! I wonder how many other positive opportunities that myself – and others with a diagnosis of depression or other mental health challenge – have missed out on because it was easier to crawl into a shell than to be talkative and engaging.

But even more important than my professional life was God’s role in redeeming and restoring my unhappy and lonely personal life, especially the years of lost joy when I was single and living in an apartment.  As I explained in my book, with no social media, Internet or smart phones in those days, my personal “life” was about as interesting as watching wet paint dry on a wall. I was so lonely I’d often cry myself to sleep. And yet, four years later, while out of work (again), I was invited to a Halloween party where I met the young woman who would become my wife! In probably the best example of God’s restoration in my life, the roughly thirty years of lost joy when I was terribly lonely have been replaced by more than thirty years of happiness with my wife! 

While looking back to appreciate how far we’ve come can be very positive, focusing too much on the past is not a good thing either. As Pastor Brad Hoefs states, “Every day that you’re ‘stuck’ in grief and remorse, you are missing one day of living.” And so, learn from your past, take advantage of the opportunities you have today, and recognize that tomorrow will be God’s reward for following His purpose for your life. 

God is a Restorer  “God’s purpose is not to destroy us but to restore us. The enemy is the destroyer, but God has promised to restore the things the enemy has stolen from our lives: all the years of lost joy, all the times of frustration and defeat, all the moments of regret, all the pains of lost opportunities, all the hurts of broken relationships. God is building His kingdom with you – a kingdom of joy, love, peace, righteousness, victory, redemption, and right relationships.” – Roy Lessin  

“I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten – the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm – my great arm that I sent among you. You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and you will praise the name of the Lord your God, Who has worked wonders for you. ..”

Joel 2:25-26

Mike Jacquart is the author of “Climbing Out of Darkness: A Personal Journey into Mental Wellness,” available online at https://www.amazon.com/Climbing-out-Darkness-Personal-Wellness/dp/B0BQ58KJH4 He dedicates this post to his late Fresh Hope co-facilitator, Mike Gutho. A retired magazine editor, Mike enjoys sharing his story of “pushing through” on blog posts, podcasts, and other presentations. For more information, contact him at michaeljacquart8@gmail.com.

by Peggy Rice

The ministry of Fresh Hope for Mental Health is based on 7 Recovery Principles (originally called Tenets). When we read them in our Support Group, the first paragraph is for those who have a diagnosis, the second paragraph is for the loved ones, and we all read the third paragraph and Bible verse, out loud. Here’s Number 7:

TENET VII

At times, my mental health challenge has caused me to focus only on myself and my needs, leading me to believe the lie that I don’t have much to offer to others. Therefore, because focusing on others will help me grow, I choose to give back, sharing my story with others, that my past pain might provide insights for someone else’s journey to living well.

I, too, have become focused on my loved one’s situation and how it has affected me. I can easily become so consumed by our issues that I fail to see those around me who would benefit from what I’ve learned. Therefore, I choose to give back by seeking opportunities to help others by sharing my insights and experiences.

Together we recognize that sharing helps both us and others heal. Sharing helps us find our voice and becomes empowering as we see our pain redeemed by the Lord. As we share, it helps reaffirm our own hope while also giving hope away to others.

“(The Lord) helps us in all our troubles, so that we are able to help others who have all kinds of troubles, using the same help that we ourselves have received from God.” — 2 Corinthians 1:4 (Good News Translation)

This is the last of the Recovery Principles, and maybe that’s because it’s kind of like a final step.

Now don’t get me wrong – these Tenets are not designed as stepping stones. It’s not the same format as, say AA, where you complete Step One, then move on to Step Two, complete it and move to Step Three, etc. No, these are all different understandings about living with a mental health challenge – either personally, or loving someone who does – and Fresh Hope encourages us to work on one, or several, or all of them, in our journey to living a healthy life while walking the mental health path.

But to me, there’s something special about Tenet 7. It’s almost as if a person on a mental health journey needs to be far enough down the path to even realize that there are others in the world! Let me explain.

When I went through my 10+ years’ journey with severe depression and anxiety, there were times when I was unaware that my behaviors, moods, thoughts and actions were affecting others. Some call it “navel-gazing,” or selfish, and I supposed it is. Maybe living with a mental health challenge, particularly in its darkest times, is by nature self-focused. I mean, just dealing with the lack of desire to get out of bed, let alone engage with people in the workplace, was exhausting, and sometimes impossible. This is true for anxiety, too. When my brain was spinning with fear and worry and stress, it was very hard to see anyone around me, because I was so lost in my own thoughts.

But:

As I began to get better, and began to lift my head and look around and see the people in my life, I realized that there was more to this mental health journey than just me.

And:

I remembered that, in some of my darkest days, I had begged God to not waste my experience. That somehow, some way, He would use my mental health struggles for my good and His glory.

Then:

God brought me to Fresh Hope, where I found a place that I could live my honest mental health journey, and it was a safe place to share my story. No one judged me – they actually understood, because they had lived a mental health challenge themselves. I was able to open up, find comfort and encouragement. I became braver, sharing more, offering insights from my own experience with others who were going through tough times. Not as advice, but as my own story: “When I went through something similar, this is what I did.” And others did the same for me. So together we grew and learned and were affirmed.

That’s what I mean when I say it’s like a final step. In the depths of my own depression and anxiety, I was too self-consumed to see others around me who were hurting, or needed encouragement. I probably wasn’t able to live out Tenet 7. I wasn’t well enough.

But neither did I have to be completely well to begin to practice Tenet 7. Just well enough to be able to see others in my life.

There are many verses in God’s Word that deal with this idea of giving back. Of course, the verse right under Tenet VII above, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4: “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

But other verses talk about how we, as members of the Body of Christ, can help each other. (italics mine)

Matthew 10:8 – “Freely you have received; freely give.”

Galatians 6:2 – “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

Romans 15:1-2 – “We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up.”

Colossians 3:13 – “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

I Thessalonians 5:11a – “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up…”

Hebrews 10:24-25 – “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

Hebrews 3:13a – “But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called ‘Today’…”

Romans 15:4-5 – “For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope. May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had…”

Ephesians 4:29 – “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Proverbs 12:25 – “Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.”

I know personally, I have grown and healed in my mental health journey, as I have shared my story and served others in the world of mental health. I’ve had opportunities through Fresh Hope, but there are so many ways to give back.

I recently learned of an old friend who started an organization called The Little Heart Project – they crochet small hearts and attach hopeful and encouraging messages and leave them all over the world (!), as a way to prevent suicide, “one crocheted heart at a time.” I have another friend who teaches other women about who God says we are in Him, among other topics (does anyone else journal?), at various women’s events. My dearest friend is always making meals for someone – either in her church, or someone she met at the gym – just whoever has a need.

What if you’re not ready to talk to people yet? Well, what about walking dogs at the local animal shelter? Or volunteering for a shift at the local food bank, just taking supplies off the truck and organizing them for the pantries?

What can YOU do, to give back, even in the current mental health place you are in – right now? Do you trust that God will lead you to more ways to reach out, eventually to share your story, as you are able? Ask Him. He’ll lead you, as He equips you.

Peggy has been involved with Fresh Hope as a Group Facilitator for over 6 years and as the Hope Coach Trainer for over 4 years. She can be reached at peggy@freshhope.us.