Tag: mental health

Naomi Judd: A Champion of Hope

Naomi Judd: A Champion of Hope

If you or someone you love are having feelings of suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255

As we all have learned on April 30th, one of Country music’s most beloved performers, Naomi Judd, passed away. As it has been widely reported, her daughters shared that she lost her battle with mental illness. Today, on Good Morning America, Ashley Judd how her Mother died and that she had found her. What incredible emotional strength it took for Ashely to do that interview with Diane Sawyer. Personally I’m glad that the Judd sisters are speaking out regarding their Mom’s death and her struggle with mental illness. Only when people talk opening just as they would with any other illness will we really start to breakdown the stigma regarding mental health challenges.

I was deeply honored to be able to speak with Naomi a couple of years ago for the Fresh Hope for Mental Health podcast. She graciously recorded an interview with me that, until now, has gone unpublished. We’ve chosen to release this interview now, not to capitalize on her passing, but rather to honor her strength and help others realize the common challenges that those with a mental health diagnosis must overcome. 

My conversation with her was one of honesty, transparency and hope. She was willing to be vulnerable and share details of the traumas she experienced early in her life, of which there were many. Her innocence, trust and security were abused more than once, if not stolen altogether, and it would be years before she had the resources or support to process all of it.  

In my work with Fresh Hope, we call these traumas “heart wounds.” These kinds of painful experiences can cause a person to feel profound shame, making them prone to facing their deepest struggles alone. They’re wounded and weary, anxious and exhausted. It’s so important to develop tools that can help a person process and begin to find hope and healing. When they don’t have that opportunity, it can make living well nearly impossible. 

When I asked Naomi what motivated her to push through the pain of her youth for as long as she did, she didn’t hesitate in responding that it was her daughters. “You have to have a meaning, a purpose, something to get out bed for,” she shared. “It was my two little girls. They knew we were poor; they knew we weren’t like other people, but we had joy and we loved each other.” 

In recent years, Judd was candid about her battle with suicidal thoughts, debilitating anxiety and the ups and downs of her mental health struggles. Not as many people know that while a single mother, she pursued a nursing degree with the intent of finishing with a medical degree and becoming a doctor. It was her daughter Wynonna’s talent for singing that led them to Nashville where, as we know, their lives took a very different, very successful turn. 

Still, her intellect and aptitude for science led her to learn more about the role that genetics plays in a person’s mental and emotional wellness. She described to me the interplay of heredity (inherited traits that we can’t change), environment (how we were nurtured or not) and what she called “the hopeful part,” our choices.  

In her case, genetics included a long family line of mental health problems and deep traumas, making it even more of an uphill battle to carry the emotional burdens of her early life. Having been placed in psychiatric hospitals three times, at one point she was told, “You’re going to have to work really hard to overcome this.” 

She chose to do exactly that. Though Naomi’s life included some deep lows, she also had many wonderful years of “up seasons” as well. Those “ups” should be credited to the faith, hope and healing she pursued with fervency and the choice she made to fight back.  

One of the things we talk about in our Fresh Hope groups is that hope is a choice. With God, you can take “wishful thinking hope” and make it sure and certain. We get to choose. Are we going to set our minds on being happy? Are we going to love ourselves and appreciate what we have? As Naomi said in our conversation, “One of the most important things I’ve realized is that we’re all in this together. It’s not what happens to you, it’s what you do with it.” 

Although it may seem tragic, there’s a lot of hope in Naomi’s story. If you’re suffering, I want to challenge you to seek the help you need and get involved in a support group. It can make a world of difference. 

If you would like to hear the full conversation with Naomi Judd, please find the link for the interview here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/naomi-judd-live-well-and-be-well/id906407226?i=1000559770889 

Our hearts and prayers go out to Naomi’s entire family. May the Lord give you comfort and in the days and years ahead may you always know how much your Mom loved you both!

Brad Hoefs is a pastor, international speaker and mental health advocate who is passionate about coaching, inspiring and empowering others with hope no matter what circumstance they may be facing. He is best known as the founder and executive director of Fresh Hope for Mental Health, an international network of peer-to-peer Christian mental health support groups and resources. 

Psalms 23: A Widow’s Perspective

Psalms 23: A Widow’s Perspective

“The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters.

He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death I fear no evil, for You are with me.

Your rod and Your staff they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.

You have anointed my head with oil, my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

During my morning quiet time earlier this week, I had one of those “Aha!” moments that sometimes come to us as we’re reading and thinking. This Psalm speaks of the Valley of the Shadow of Death, and I began to ask myself some questions. What is this Valley? What does it feel like? How do we get there? More importantly, how to we get through it? 

As I did a little research, I learned a couple of interesting things about valleys. A valley is defined as an elongated, somewhat flat area of land lying between two hills, that typically has a river or stream running through it. Since water often symbolizes life, especially in the Scriptures, it didn’t seem logical to equate a valley with Death! But maybe I needed to adjust my thinking about this.

Whenever someone we love dies, we enter the Valley of the Shadow of Death. It is not the reality of death itself, but rather a shadow cast by death into our lives. Being surrounded by a hovering, gray fog. Unable to see the way clearly ahead. Being hemmed in on every side. Feeling like my own life and purpose have died. Intense loneliness. These all describe the Valley of the Shadow of Death. There’s no escape but to go straight through it!

The Valley can bring fear – fear of all kinds of evil – sometimes totally irrational fear. What about my finances? How will I manage? Am I safe in my home? What about my children? Will I be alone for the rest of my life? In this place of shadow, the Lord, the Great Shepherd walks with us. He holds our hand to guide us. He’s not lost because He’s walked this way before. He shines a light on our pathway. He keeps us from falling. 

Perhaps this Valley is a sheltered, well-watered place of protection for me during a time when I’m in danger of losing my way, of being overcome with Shadow. Just maybe I need to change my perspective to understand the purpose of the Valley more clearly.

The Valley is the place where the Shepherd can comfort my heart. He can lead me beside that gently flowing river that drains the spacious grasslands. He brings people into my life to provide community when I’m feeling lonely. He feeds me physically and spiritually and nourishes my emotions. He anoints my thoughts so that they are transformed to thoughts of gratitude. My life overflows with His blessings, and occasionally, the sun even begins to peek through the clouds, bringing joy and gladness. My life is under His mercy, and He promises to be with me forever. That means there’s an end to the Valley of the Shadow of Death.

One day, when our hearts have been sheltered and healed for a time, we will walk out the other end of the Valley into a place of purpose and sunshine. In the middle of the fog, we cannot yet see what will be. But we know one thing to be true, God still has a plan to give us a future and a hope. An overcoming hope. Faith-filled hope that will allow us to thrive and live with a new joy.

Sheryl Gehrls

Founder and Director of Refocusing Widows

refocusingwidows.org

The Hope Factor and what it’s doing through Hope Coaching By Samantha Karraá

The Hope Factor and what it’s doing through Hope Coaching By Samantha Karraá

Have you ever felt stuck in life? What do you do when your circumstances or the pain inside overwhelms your ability to move forward? Have you ever felt like talking to someone might help, but you don’t know who you could talk to or where to begin? What does it take to go from night to light? From loneliness to feeling connected again? From pain to peace? From confusion to clarity? From fear to courage? From trauma to healing? From grief to joy? What does it take to go from hopelessness to hope?

Fresh Hope decided to take action and recruit an army. An army bearing hope. Fresh Hope. And so, we went ahead and gave away 200 scholarships (valued at $12,000 USD): 100 to Spanish speakers in Spain and Latin America in the months of March, and April and 100 additional scholarships to English speaking countries during the months of May and June 2022.

We set out on the first mission to find 100 Spanish speaking men and women who were willing to study to become Hope Coaches as an immediate response to the need. A first step. An emergency reaction to touch a hope starved world.

People started applying for the scholarships as soon as the news went out on our social media. In less than 2 weeks, we had given all the scholarships away to people wanting to become that beacon of light in the midst of the darkness. They represented 13 Spanish speaking countries, as well as Spanish speakers within the US! Perú, Venezuela, Colombia, Chile, El Salvador, Bolivia, Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic, Spain, Switzerland, the USA, Argentina, Mexico and Ecuador; all have people preparing to become Hope Coaches in the upcoming weeks!!!

To become a Hope Coach, you don’t need to be a strong person, have specific previous studies, previous experience, or be as wise as Solomon. To become a Hope Coach, all you need to have is a compassionate heart and be willing and committed to being an instrument in the hands of the Lord.

A Hope Coach is not a counselor or a therapist. Instead, a Hope Coach is a person who has been trained to be an exceptional listener, and to ask the right questions at the right moment to help the other person process the pain and, as they do so, they can begin to see a way forward.

The actions and practices of a Hope Coach are based on 25 years of clinical research of how hope works. When this hope is infused with faith, the results are incredible…! 

“My favorite part of the training was learning how to write a biblical lament”, shared one Hope Coach. “The Stages of the Hope Coaching Process are set out so clearly that it feels as though one is taking the Hope Seeker by the hand and leading him out of a maze of hopelessness” shared another. “I particularly like to use the Mountain of Grief. I have seen people be able to move forward when they understand this truth”.

But that is not the best part! Experience has shown that where a Hope Coach is born, opportunities to make hope contagious arise: Churches asking to have other Hope Coaches trained, people inquiring about how to start a Fresh Hope Support Group. Life will never be the same for a Hope Coach, and Hope Coaching is for everyone! Not just for people with a mental health diagnosis.

A Hope Coach naturally becomes a better friend, a better mom, a better dad, a better spouse, just by using the skills learned in the training. A Hope Coach can serve at his church. A Hope Coach can serve as part of the Fresh Hope Certified Hope Coaches. There’s no limit!!!

So why don’t you take a step forward and become a Hope Coach yourself? Write to samantha@freshhope.us, tell us you read this blog and we will offer a full scholarship to you as well! Expect nothing less than to be filled with hope yourself as you set out to be a vessel of hope… 

Need to talk to a Hope Coach? Do so now by visiting https://freshhope.us/hopecoachmenu.

Click on “Hope Coach Quick Links”, and then on option number 2.

When was the last time something like this happened to you?

When was the last time something like this happened to you?

A few years ago, I came across a Google review of our church. It started off great. The author was complimentary about the kindness of our community, the hospitality of our people, the ministries of the church, etc. He even threw some praise my way. Then, the message turned nasty.

I wouldn’t have been so surprised by the negative shift in tone and content had I noticed that this post was written by someone who was using a fake name. It was shocking to read the false assumptions and half-truths. Even though this treatise was mostly misinformation, misinterpretation and misrepresentation, the words still hurt.

After the initial sting, I realized who wrote the review and knew what had transpired that inspired this scathing report. In the end, it turned out to be an immature response to an offense inflicted by someone other than me. And yet, I (and my wife) were cruelly and unfairly criticized.

To be fair, there were a few unflattering statements that were actually true. Ultimately, the vast majority of the message was inaccurate. Regardless, it triggered a shame response and opened up some wounds. The truth is: we all enter into ministry as flawed and fallen people. Our stories are filled with bumps and bruises. We’ve all faced bullies along the way. We’ve each borne our fair share of trauma, grief and regret. Our hearts have been broken and all our scars aren’t fully healed.

We have heart wounds that are perpetually exposed as we experience the insults, hardship, persecution, and difficulties that occur in pastoral ministry. The struggles and burdens of ministry aggravate old injuries AND cause new wounds. Personally, I long to be like the apostle Paul. I want to wholeheartedly believe that the grace of Christ is sufficient for me and that God’s power is made perfect in weakness. I would love to be relentless and resilient when the thorn digs in and my soul feels weary. Throughout my years in ministry I haven’t always had the resources and support I needed.

That’s why Fresh Hope for Pastors is introducing a new program for ministry leaders called Healing the Heart Wounds of Ministry. We know that serving the Lord in vocational ministry can be overwhelming. Too often, pastors try to put their heads down and power through. Most of the time, we do so in isolation from others. After all, the sheep have teeth and it is sometimes your own congregation that does much of the damage.

You need a safe environment where you can share your story with peers who understand. It’s ok not to be ok. Our Heart Wounds retreats offer the unique opportunity for pastors and their spouses to drop their guard and be honest with folks who will be empathetic and encouraging. And, participants won’t simply benefit during the time that we are together. Our goal is to send you back onto the field with tools and resources that will help you remain hopeful and joyful even as you encounter the challenges of ministry.

Sadly, pastors and spouses endure rejection, criticism and attacks. We go through cycles of grief and loss while carrying the weight of the people we love and serve. It’s a hard job that results in a lot of hurt. It is critical for pastors and their families to stay healthy despite the heart wounds.

Our team of pastors, spouses, trauma experts and behavioral health specialists are committed to caring for you as we explore ways that you can enjoy fruitful ministry and increase the longevity of your calling.

What are some of the most significant wounds that ministry has exposed or inflicted?

How has past hurt emerged as you’ve faced the challenges of ministry?

How do you cope with the pain and find hope in the midst of your struggles? Who reminds you of the resurrection and restoration of Christ?

Jason Moore is the director of Fresh Hope for Pastors. He is an ordained minister in the Presbyterian Church in America. Jason is a former church planter and a certified peer coach. He lives with a mood disorder and walks alongside pastors who are facing the challenges of burnout, anxiety, depression, and other mental and emotional health concerns.     

It Begins With a Story

It Begins With a Story

Every life is a story. Moment by moment, the sentences and paragraphs come together, telling a much bigger story of a life lived. One day the story reaches the final period.  Each of us has a story to tell of how we became a widow. Each story is unique, and each one of you is still writing your story. The amazing thing about these stories is that each one has a surprise ending for you to discover!

Writing a blog is a new venture for me, so I’ve decided to begin by sharing a bit of my personal story. Dave and I had been married 48 years when a malignant cancer appeared under his tongue. Like many men, Dave had put off going to the doctor thinking there was an irritation that needed to heal on its own. At his first visit to the ENT specialist, the doctor scheduled a procedure to remove the affected area and surrounding tissue. That day began a series of surgeries to remove additional small sections of his tongue until we got clear margins.

In January of 2018 the surgeon pronounced him cancer-free with no need to check-in for 6 months. At 5 months Dave became concerned about a small lump he could feel in the side of his neck. The PET scan was moved up, and sure enough — a new cancer appeared in a lymph node in his neck. The ENT surgeon began another surgery to remove it, but decided it was too complex for him. So, he closed and referred us to a Head & Neck specialist at the Buffet Cancer Center in Omaha. And that’s where this present story began.

In August 2018, Dave underwent a 16-hour surgery that removed about half of his tongue, 3 inches of the jugular vein, and most of the muscle on the left side of his neck, as well as a large malignant tumor and 40 lymph nodes. He nearly died twice more during that weekend, had two more emergency surgeries, and spent 5 days on a ventilator. A team of over 30 people worked on him, including a truly brilliant head and neck surgeon, and an equally brilliant reconstructive surgeon. They assured me it was a textbook procedure, that all had gone perfectly, and that Dave should make a complete recovery.

Eight months, 33 radiation treatments, 7 chemo treatments, countless surgical procedures, and hundreds of appointments later, the oncologist stood by Dave’s bedside with me and said, “I don’t know what to tell you. Everything we tried didn’t kill it! There’s nothing more we can do.” That was probably the worst day of our 50 years together. Five days later, Dave heard the Father call his name, and he went right around the cancer into the arms of Jesus.

So, suddenly I became a widow.

That changed every single thing about my life. Every. Single. Thing.

I had more questions than I had answers. A veritable mountain of paperwork stood before me. I suddenly felt like the most intimidated, incompetent person ever to live on the planet. An unending path extended before me, and I had to walk it alone. My kids and grandkids were wonderful…no doubt about it. But I still had to adjust to being alone and making ALL the decisions. Fifty years of marriage had created a comfortable division of labor, and now that was gone. I was now half of a couple learning how to be an “I” after fifty years of being “We”.

As I researched resources for widows, I found lots and lots of grief groups. However, I found very little that actually focused on moving a widow from looking at the past to anticipating the future. One night I saw the fascinating image of a kaleidoscope. As I watched, a slight twist moved a beautiful pattern, and it went completely out of focus. When things turned slightly again, a new and just as beautiful pattern emerged. And suddenly, Refocusing Widows was born in my heart and mind.

In these posts I’ll be speaking from my heart to your heart about the issues that we face as widows. From a faith-based perspective, I know that each of you reading this has a joyful, fulfilling life ahead of you. Faith-filled Hope will motivate you and catapult you into thriving in spite of the trauma of losing your spouse.

What does your story of becoming a widow look like? There are nearly 285 million widowed individuals in the world. You are not alone in all that you’re experiencing. I’d love to hear your story and watch the surprise ending unfold with you. Please feel free to send your thoughts and comments or share your journey with me at sheryl@freshhope.us. I look forward to hearing from you!

Sheryl Gehrls

Founder and Director of Refocusing Widows

Experience a New, Hope-Filled Reality in Your Life

Experience a New, Hope-Filled Reality in Your Life

In 1995, the trajectory of Brad and Donna’s Hoefs life changed dramatically. Due to Brad’s mental illness, which was undiagnosed at the time, he had an excruciatingly public episode of uncontrolled manic behavior. As a senior pastor of a large church, Brad was smeared in the news, received condemning letters from pastors across the country, many friendships ceased, and the church asked him to resign. In the aftermath, Donna remembers sitting in her backyard weeping and pleading to God – “My husband is not well. I have no job. I’ve got two children to care for. What am I going to do?” 

Seven years later, Brad’s recovery hit a low point when he relapsed. In addition to losing more friends, they lost their dream home and moved into an apartment. Donna later describes the inner pain of being married to someone with a mental illness: “confusing… devastating… terrifying… alone… forgotten… grief… anguish…”.  

Thankfully, the story doesn’t end there. 

In their newly published book, Holding to Hope: Staying Sane While Loving Someone with a Mental Illness, Brad and Donna courageously share their story together. Being the loved one of someone with a diagnosis can be as difficult as having the illness itself. The book focuses on empowering people to live well in spite of the roller coaster ride of a loved one’s mental illness.  

“Now we can say, 20 years after the first diagnosis, these words:  

Relief 

Light 

Laughter 

Joy 

Future  

and Hope.” 

~ Brad and Donna Hoefs 

When I finished reading Holding to Hope, I found myself thanking God for keeping His promises to the Hoefs. When their hearts were broken, He drew near to them. During their struggle, He was working all things together for good. They have never been alone on this difficult journey together, and now they are sharing over 20 years of powerful insights and practical steps that can produce relief, light, laughter, joy, future and hope in others. 

For many people who love someone with a mental illness, those words may seem impossible and out of reach. If that’s you, I pray you will read this book and experience a new, hope-filled reality in your life. 

In Hope,

Jonathan Nielson

To order your copy of Holding to Hope: Staying Sane While Loving Someone with a Mental Illness, you can go to the Fresh Hope Store or Amazon using the links below:

Amazon 
Fresh Hope Store 

To download free chapters visit linktr.ee/holdingtohope

Holding to Hope: Staying Sane While Loving Someone with a Mental Illness centers around the 7 Fresh Hope Recovery Principles for Loved Ones. It’s filled with a transparent look and learned insights into the Hoefs’ lives as they navigated through the darkest days following Pastor Brad’s first major bipolar episode in 1995. Holding to Hope is not only for individuals to read but can also be used in a group setting for a group to process together. 

So, Have you heard the News about the Fresh Hope Network?

So, Have you heard the News about the Fresh Hope Network?

It is Fresh Hope´s latest gift for you and the beginning of a new era for Fresh Hope…!!

A 24/7, EXCLUSIVE, PRIVATE, HOPE FILLED space online where you will get to have your own profile, your friends, and your news feed! But that is not all!….

  1. It is FREE! Not only are there NO fees to pay to become a member.. you will also get access to Free courses and resources!
  • It`s International. Did you know that Fresh Hope now has friends and members in over 12 countries around the world? Colombia, Mexico, Spain, Japan, Belgium, El Salvador, Guatemala, Chile, Bolivia, Perú, The US, Canada, you name it! The network works both in English and Spanish making it even more exciting.
  • It allows you to connect and stay connected!! Connect to people with lived experience. Connect with people in Fresh Hope Support Groups. Interact with your Fresh Hope Group anytime. Connect with other facilitators too!
  • It allows you to seek specific support! You can now create and/or join your own Special Interest Groups, called “Affinity Groups” in the Network and regroup with people with situations just like yours!

Want to meet other mothers like you that went through post-partum depression? Go for it by Creating an Affinity Group! Want to connect with other men diagnosed with bipolar disorder? With other parents dealing with mental health issues in their children? With those dealing with an addiction as well as a mental health diagnosis? There are no limits to how you can use the Affinity Groups for your own good!

  • It allows you to fill up your hope tank every day and never feel isolated again! By visiting the News Feed you can now share your heart, be heard and share hope with everyone and anyone in the network and at the same time read what others post and be filled with the hope that they share!

 So what are you waiting for…!? All you need to do is:

  1. Go to www.freshhope.us
  2. Click on the upper, right corner where it says “Sign Up”
  3. Fill out the short form.
  4. Confirm by clicking on the link you will receive by email and voila!

I can hardly wait to see you there…!!

A New Book for Those Who Love Someone with a Mental Illness!

A New Book for Those Who Love Someone with a Mental Illness!

“When it comes to mental illness, it is an equal opportunity provider of pain, struggles, and difficulties.  Those who have a mental illness and their loved ones are all subject to the layers of difficulties that mental illness brings into their relationships and life itself.  There is no doubt in my mind that being the loved one of someone who has a mental illness can be as difficult as having the illness itself.  I know because I am both one with a diagnosis and a loved one.  In fact, it is even possible for those who love someone with a mental illness to suffer even more than their loved one who has the diagnosis. It is so very difficult to watch someone you love suffer so much, and even more difficult when they refuse to be compliant in their treatment, or they continually self-sabotage their recovery.” (Taken from the opening introduction paragraph of “Holding to Hope: Staying Sane While Loving Someone with a Mental Illness.”)

Yes, you read that correctly!  Our newly published book for the loved ones of those who have a mental health issue will be released on August 1st!  (To pre-order the book, go to: Holding to Hope)

“One of the most helpful jobs a book can do is give us words to validate and define our experience.  In this book, you’ll receive those words, along with realistic encouragement and multilayered hope,” says Amy Simpson, author of Troubled Minds, Anxious, and Blessed Are the Unsatisfied

“Holding to Hope is refreshingly real and enormously useful.  The Hoefs open a window to their lives, sharing the challenges of living with a mental health challenge as husband and wife, a pastor and a pastor’s wife, parents, and friends to others.  Brad and Donna’s vulnerability and honesty are a testament to living a life of hope, learning how to lean into your circumstances, and coming out better.  You won’t regret reading this book.  In fact, you’ll give thanks for Brad and Donna’s lives that have now enriched thousands,” says Doug Beach, Chairman of the NAMI FaithNetNational Advisory Group, NAMI Instructor and Support Group Leader, NAMI San Antonio, Texas.

The entire first half of Holding to Hope is based upon the seven Fresh Hope principles of recovery for those who are loved ones of someone who has a mental health challenge.  Each of these chapters include thought-provoking questions as well real-life stories and spiritual insights.  The book’s first half lends itself towards even small groups of loved ones processing the content together.   (You can download one of the chapters for free by clicking here.). One of the ways that the Hoefs hope that the book will be used is for groups of those who love someone with a mental health challenge to use the book as a 12-week study guide.

The second half of the book is made up of shorter chapters that deal with various other issues such as living well and relationships. 

The release date of the book is August 1, 2021.  You can pre-order a signed copy of the book today by clicking here at the introductory price of $21, which includes shipping!  Xulon Press Elite is the publisher of the book.   The book is also available on Amazon and at Barnes and Nobel Online Bookstore.

Evan Owens, the founder of Reboot Recovery, says, “If you are serious about wanting to overcome or help someone overcome mental health challenges, this is a must-have book. You’ll find yourself referencing it time and again.  It is practical, insightful, and told by a couple that actually understands!”

This is the third book released by Fresh Hope for Mental Health.  The title of the first book is, Fresh Hope for Mental Health: Living Well in Spite of a Mental Health Challenge in English.  The second book released by Fresh Hope is the Spanish translation of the first book.

“Breaking the Ice” By Christian Coleman-Jones

“Breaking the Ice” By Christian Coleman-Jones

I’m going to break the ice with this post…

We protect our identity so much, spend so much time devising strategies to keep “them” from finding out, that we end our days exhausted, blaming it on work or the heavy day.

I’m not going to make excuses for who I am anymore. This is what it is, and I plan to live it with those who appreciate it, from now on.

I am a person who has great difficulty concentrating on work I don’t enjoy, nor on conversations that are not stimulating. I am easily distracted, which may suggest that I am superficial and not interested in what the other person has to say. I avoid mistakes in social situations, for fear of not being seen as perfect. I have always had difficulty associating with people I don’t know. If I feel that I have been or will be rejected, I can feel sad and angry for hours or days. I don’t have a great ability to control my emotions, therefore, I give the impression of being very intense. I feel everything in excess, there is no in-between.

All of this has a medical name. It is called Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. This is how I was born and even though I am working on ways to improve that, I still maintain the patterns. This is who I am, by the grace of God.

Many of you reading this haven’t seen me for years. Perhaps they were left with ideas, estimates of who I really am. Well, this is it.

What’s more, my 30 years of corporate experience were years I could have devoted to my true passions: Christ, above all things and people, giving myself to those in need of compassion and understanding, writing, music and anything that involves creativity.

But, with the best of intentions, I was instructed that being a businessman would bring financial and emotional stability. The truth is that there is no financial stability that brings emotional stability. I reached my goals and when I was at the top, there was nothing, everything was empty. I found full and permanent satisfaction in the name of Jesus. It doesn’t matter if you believe it or not. It’s who I am and I don’t make excuses for it.

The man with the short hair, suit, tie, and everything else has been a big mask. That’s not Christian, that’s an image of what society expected of me.

Today, I am a man free from the chains that bound me to an electrified cell. I have found that freedom in Christ. With Him I don’t have to pretend, or dress well, or have good relationships, or be efficient in my work, or be excellent in my career, no, I just need to believe, and He takes me as I am, without prejudice or conditions.

This authentic Christian was awakened 6 months ago when I was drastically diagnosed with ADHD. The first day of treatment changed my life completely. But am I the ADHD diagnosis? Not at all, that is one of several adjectives that define who I am. I am different, very different from what the social norm expects by that diagnosis, but it is what it is and that is not going to change unless God has other plans for me.

The invitation to you, who appreciate me, and I appreciate very much, have that pure and authentic freedom. Be genuine, be transparent, put yourselves at risk to love those you do not know, just as we have been loved infinitely.

My great life experience is that when I identify and understand what God created me for, and I carry it out, I find infinite and permanent satisfaction and joy. He wants me to be who I am and what I was created to be. And I find that that is precisely who I am – I am not ashamed of my eccentricities or my controversial ideas (which I always hope to convey gently), and above all, I … am … not … ashamed … of … the … name … of … Jesus!!!

I hope you are not ashamed of me, just the way I am.

I love you all very much.

The Secrets to Worship Your Way Out of Sorrow

The Secrets to Worship Your Way Out of Sorrow

During pain-plagued tragedies, when one must endure long days and late nights, sorrow threatens to overshadow any sense of hope. It’s a universal experience for sure…that jerk of reality and jumping lightyears into a realm of sorrow. It can appear inescapable, and last far longer than you’d have expected.

This new paradigm shift brings the strongest prayer warrior to their knees, but the wisest know the secret to finding the way out.

Already on their knees, they worship. And when it gets better, or worse, they worship.

Circumstances come and go, but praise is due to our God forever. And in a sorrowful state, we are being shaped. God is still using the bad to cause good to come from it. Surely, we can worship in the midst of any frame of mind.

Here are the secrets to worshipping your way out of sorrow, depression, and constant misery:

  1. Recognize what you’ve lost. Define it. Identify that it’s gone. That’s the first step in processing the trauma of the loss. If you need to express your grief and depression, look into talking with a counselor.
  2. Humble yourself. God opposes a proud heart, but a broken one can welcome Him into the pain. A mentor of mine once taught me that the fear of God is keeping in the front of your mind that He is with you at all times. Keep reminding yourself of His presence. It’s helpful to practice the next step in order to do that.
  3. Call on Him. Say the name: Jesus. That precious, powerful name. The only name. It’s the answer to every fear, every doubt, every weakness. And calling on him out of your pain will light the flame you need to see out of the darkness of your sorrow.
  4. Praise Him! I can’t stress his enough – if there was a way to highlight, bold, underline and italicize – this point is most important. Lifting our praise in song or voice to God is where the tables are turned. Demons flee, Satan cowers, situations change, and the whole spiritual environment quakes at the praise of His glory. Give Him credit, glory, a great name! He is for us! What isn’t to praise? Turning our eyes onto Jesus in the darkest of nights will cause “the things of this world [to] grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace,” as the old hymn goes.

If that’s true, then after you’ve recognized the loss, humbled yourself, called on Jesus, and essentially done all you could do to put the sorrow to rest, you find the victory comes. Maybe not right away, but in discipline and earnest prayers and supplications and praise, we can eventually rest in victory.

Acting on a command like “rejoice always” is not dependent on our feelings or emotional state. The scriptures don’t tell us to “let your feelings dictate your actions” – but rather, the action changes that scripture commands bring about emotion and spirit changes. Don’t believe me? Try it. Apply it. And then come back and let me know how it went for you. I doubt you’ll be disappointed.

Disclaimer: For someone dealing with excessive sorrow and depression for more than a month, you should consider talking to a certified counselor and even a psychiatrist for medication management. The effects of clinical depression can be long, lingering and debilitating, and unnoticed can cause more harm than good. Take counsel and medications as prescribed by a certified clinician. Always consult with a doctor for appropriate mental health treatment and care.

About the author:

Hey there! I’m Katie Dale, familiar with the storms of mental illness, and I blog about my faith and how it has informed my brain-based disorder at BipolarBrave.com. I also have a memoir out about my journeys through the psych wards and how I found peace of mind with psych meds (by the grace of God) – you can find it on Amazon here. Since my former profession of case manager at a behavioral clinic, I’ve stepped into the role of stay-at-home mommy to Kylie. And I get to travel the world with Chris, my man in uniform. Aside from that, I could live off mac ‘n cheese, and I still hold onto my aspiration to run a sub-20-minute 5k. Come find me and say hi on social media @KatieRDale. Stay bold, brave, and real.