By Scott Box

I recently came across another Fight Club scene while I was researching a quote for an upcoming writing project— I referenced the 1999 movie Fight Club in a previous post: https://pastorbrad.blog/2024/02/29/crisis-control/ —I decided to watch the movie clip I was researching on YouTube to gain the proper context. 

In this instance the character, Tyler Durden, gives an intentional chemical burn on the unnamed narrator’s hand. It is a raw, intense, and twisted moment between Durden and the narrator. 

In the scene, Durden kisses the top of the narrator’s hand and then pours lye on the moisture, causing a chemical reaction that burns through the skin. While the narrator suffers in pain, Durden holds his hand in place and monologues about suffering and how God hates humans, among other things. The narrator tries one coping strategy after another. Eventually, the bowls and dishes are pushed across the table as the scene reaches the climax, and the narrator instinctively dives for the sink. Durden grips the narrator’s arm even harder. “Listen, you can run water over your hand and make it worse or, look at me. Or you can use vinegar and neutralize the burn.”

“Please let me have it, please!” the narrator moans. 

Durden pulls the narrator’s wrist to emphasize, “First, you have to give up. First, you have to know, not fear, that someday you’re gonna die.”

“You don’t know how this feels!” whimpers the narrator with emptying resolve as Durden releases the narrator’s wrists with one of his own hands. Durden brings his own hand to his face. He turns the back of his hand toward the narrator to reveal a scar of a very similar burn. Confused or in awe, the narrator’s eyes shift from Durden’s scar to his fresh burn and back again. 

After a short breath, Durden makes his final point. “It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.”

“Okay,” whispers the narrator while the burn continues, but he voluntarily leaves his arm on the table.

Satisfied, Durden stands, pops the top of a vinegar bottle, and pours the salve on the narrator’s wound. 

Yes, it’s a movie, but it represents real life, too. 

Desperation and chronic pain burn like acid on the back of my hand locked in a vice, unable to reach first aid. 

I’m not drawing more profound conclusions from this brutal scene in Fight Club other than to adjust the perspective. Even though Jesus was God, in His humanness, He depended on and trusted in God, His Father, with His pain and suffering to tell a story of glorious heroic disgrace. Jesus modeled a life of desperation for God, His Father, to help Him. It is how he loosened the vice—He surrendered in humility. Jesus’ form of heroic worship did not fight the “burn”; instead, He surrendered His will to His Father’s will. Jesus “gave up” to gain power and control through His death (John 10:17-18, John 11:25-26, John 12:20-26). 

In Jesus’ Kingdom, the actual outcome of Durden’s quote, “It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything,” is a form of heroism that often looks more like a disgrace—and yes, Durden’s quote does not represent perfect theology—we are not free to do absolutely anything—but that is not my point. My point is about how Jesus faced disgrace to redefine heroism:

“And being found in human form, he humbled himself, becoming obedient to the point of death, yes, the death of the cross.” (Philippians 2:8)

Jesus is our model of healthy desperate dependence on God, the Father, the Great Storyteller. I wonder:

1. What are the experiences in your story that represent the irony of the word combination of “heroic disgrace?” 

2. What do you need to surrender this week, month, or for all of 2025 that may seem disgraceful? 

3. What part of yourself needs to die? Start small if you must. 

For example, my blood pressure is way too high. I have to remove lots of sodium from my diet, so I don’t die young. Plus, I pridefully hate having to be the one with dietary limitations at social events. Ultimately, I chafe at the thought that something so small as sodium can make me feel desperate—like an acid burn on my hand. 

Hold me accountable, please. Let’s be obedient to the point of death, to die to ourselves. How can all of us who support Fresh Hope Ministries help and hold you accountable? Reach out and let us know: https://freshhope.us/contact/ or scott@worshiphero.com

Scott and Kariann Box live in Redmond, Oregon. Scott serves as Pastor of Development at Shiloh Ranch Church and has been a worship leader for over twenty-five years. Kariann works as a Realtor in Central Oregon and supports Scott’s…creative spirit. They have two children, a one-hundred-pound Labradoodle and a four-pound Shih Tzu without teeth. Scott is the author of HEROIC DISGRACE: Order out of chaos. Hope out of fear. ― A Worship Hero Story 

by Peggy Rice, Hope Coach Trainer for Fresh Hope

We’re several weeks into the New Year. (Maybe soon, I’ll stop writing 2024!) My Christmas decorations have been put away, I’m back home after visiting friends and family, and winter seems to stretch out forever to the horizon. January often feels like a very long month, especially after the hubbub of the weeks of Thanksgiving through New Year’s.

Did you make New Year’s Resolutions for 2025? According to different research sites I looked at, people keep their resolutions for anywhere between 18 days to 4 months. How are you doing with yours?

Or maybe you’re like me, and you didn’t make any. I don’t make official resolutions anymore – quite frankly, I was tired of failing. In my younger years, I’d plan to lose weight, or start exercising every day, or record my gratitudes daily (I’ve talked about this in earlier posts). The problem, I think, was that my resolutions were almost always something I was going to start on January 1, and do every day thenceforth. That’s just not realistic. From 0 days to every day? C’mon!

Several years ago, I latched onto a different approach to the New Year. One of choosing a word to represent what I wanted to build into my character. Or rather, what I hoped God would shape in me. To be more Gentle. To be more Patient. To Abide in Him. Those are just some examples of my previous Word for the Year.

In the past, I’ve taken a survey to help me find my word. (You can find such a survey at https://www.dayspring.com/yourwordquiz.) But this time, I believe that the Holy Spirit brought the word to me.

In my Time Alone with God (I call it TAWG – some people call it Quiet Time) before Christmas, I casually asked God to give me a word that I could focus on for 2025. I wasn’t earnestly seeking one – it was a thought that flitted across my mind as I was praying, so I mentioned it to the Lord. Almost immediately, I thought of the word “Trust.”

As that word kept repeating in my head, I began to pray about it. “Lord, is this what You want from me in the next year? That I would trust You more?” I kept asking God to make it clear to me. And “Trust” would pop into my head at all kinds of random times – as I was driving in the car, or waiting in the grocery line. It seemed like any time my mind would wander, the word “Trust” echoed in my thoughts.

So I began to pray about Trust. And I looked in the Bible to find references to it.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV

“Blessed are those who trust in the LORD, and have made the LORD their hope and confidence.”  Jeremiah 17:7 NLT

“But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you.” Psalm 56:3 NLT

“Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust him, and he will help you.” Psalm 37:5 NLT

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13 NIV (my personal life verse)

“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all those whose thoughts are fixed on you!” Isaiah 26:3 NLT

“This I declare about the LORD: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him.” Psalm 91:2 NLT

“But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31 NLT

It’s funny – so many of these verses were very familiar to me, but not particularly because of the word “Trust.” Many of them were verses that I had memorized about God’s hope, and peace, and strength. How surprising to me, as I was specifically looking for one word, and the references brought me verses I already knew!

On January 1, 2025, I wrote the following in my journal:

For 2025:

I will trust God, no matter what happens to my aging parents.

I will trust God and His timing for my prodigal children and their return to the Lord.

I will trust God with my marriage – that He will help it grow in Him.

I will trust God with the ministries He’s given me – Fresh Hope Group, Hope Coaching, Moms In Prayer Group for Prodigals, Bible Study.

I will trust God with the lives of those I love – that He is working in their lives.

I will trust God when I am afraid, or anticipating grief or worst-case-scenarios.

I will trust God to bring me into relationships with those He wants me to have.

So how can I apply the word “Trust” to my mental health?

I will trust God, that He is with me when I am feeling isolated and alone.

I will trust God, that He will give me His peace when I am feeling anxious.

I will trust God, that the things He says about me in His Scriptures are the truth, not the lies that my mental health challenge is telling me.

I will trust God, that He knows my heart is to love Him, even when I’m struggling to love myself.

I will trust God, that He hears me when I call on Him, and He will answer.

I will trust God, that He will help me do whatever I need to do today, no matter how small the step, and we will celebrate that victory of my steps toward mental health and away from mental illness.

I will trust God, that He will use my mental health journey in the lives of others, to be an encouragement to someone else who might be going through a similar circumstance.

I will trust God, that He will bring me through to a level of healing where I can live a hope-filled life, in spite of my mental health.

I discussed my word with a wonderful friend today – her word is Surrender. We decided that her word is a more nuanced and mature version of mine – I can trust God, but will I surrender whatever it is to Him? I like that. Maybe Surrender will be my word next year!

In order to remember my word beyond 18 days to 4 months, I bought a bracelet that says “TRUST.” I intend to wear it every day – is that a New Year’s Resolution?!

PS – if you want to, let me know in the comments what your word for the year is!

Peggy has been involved with Fresh Hope as a Group Facilitator for over 6 years and as the Hope Coach Trainer for over 4 years. She can be reached at peggy@freshhope.us.

By Mike Jacquart

“My name is Mike. I have a diagnosis of depression and ADHD. My mood today is....”  “I also have a loved one with a diagnosis…”  Those of us in a Fresh Hope support group are very familiar with the first part of our introduction. But after seven years in a Fresh Hope group, the second part was new for me.

Until recently.

My sister, Tina* was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease earlier this year. (*Names and places are changed to protect privacy). It was a whirlwind year. In January 2024, we went with Tina to the memory center at the Mayo Clinic*, where preliminary memory testing was conducted at that time. The results indicated she had memory issues and began further testing for Alzheimer’s. Tina was devastated at this time, even though the Alzheimer’s diagnosis had not been confirmed (and would not be until May). Devastated might be an understatement. Unable to hold back her tears (or those of my wife and I), a flood of emotions erupted. “Why me?” “How did I get this?” “DO I, in fact, have it, and if I do, what do I do next?”

It was a far cry from my diagnosis twenty years earlier, when I was actually relieved to find out I had behavioral health disorders that could be improved with medical/psychiatric treatment. Alzheimer’s is a different matter entirely. This degenerative brain disorder causes a decline in mental abilities that affects thinking, memory, and behavior. Early symptoms include difficulty remembering recent events and can progress to difficulty carrying on conversations, performing daily tasks and changes in behavior and personality. Some of these were clearly occurring. Tina did not recall her sister Melanie’s* knee operation in November 2023, and she was having great difficulty balancing her checkbook, a task she used to do with ease.

But the dreaded “A word” was perhaps even worse than the symptoms themselves. The Alzheimer’s Association estimates that 6.7 million Americans age 65 or older have Alzheimer’s disease in the United States. (Tina is 75.) According to the AA, that number could nearly double by 2060. While certain medications can slow its progress, there is no cure at this time.

That was the easiest part of this blog post to write. Learning what it is like for someone living with the disease, and all that it entails, involves a great deal of stress and uncertainty, for loved ones, as well as for the individual with the affliction. I dare say, with more ups and downs than a roller coaster, it may have been the most difficult emotional experience I have had in my life.

For instance, Tina called us repeatedly over the phone with what we learned are termed “delusions” – events she insisted were true, or occurred, even though they had not. For starters, Tina accused me of putting personal information about her finances on Facebook. (I hadn’t.) She also said her sister Melanie, and her boyfriend had broken up and wanted Tina to move in with her. (Neither was true.)   I could list numerous other examples.

Even worse than the specific delusion is the stress and worry it causes. Imagine relaxing in your living room, watching TV, when a sibling calls, upset that “you don’t love me anymore” (certainly not true) or “why are they evicting me from my apartment?”  (No one was.)

It was during this time that conversations began with Tina’s primary physician and then a neurologist to determine if it was safe for this person to be living at home. (Tina is single, and lived over 2 hours from us.) And while all this is going on are the repeated calls from Tina insisting that, “I’m stuck in my ways. I’m not moving.”  When all you’re trying to do is help your loved one, statements like this hit you like a ton of bricks. You think to yourself: (How dare you? Don’t you realize we’re just trying to keep you safe?“)

Finally, after many prayers and soul searching, she began to realize she needed to move to a memory care facility. That feeling of peace was a gift of God, a rainbow in our tumultuous storm. Tina is a very outgoing person, so we repeatedly emphasized that a care facility would be a better environment for her than living alone. She’d not only be safer, but she’d have more friends, and loving caregivers and staff.

Roughly two months ago, we moved Tina to a wonderful memory care facility only a 20-minute drive from where we live. Her short-term memory has probably gotten slightly worse, but she no longer seems to have so many delusions that had her so upset in the evening. (I learned this is called Sundowner’s.) Alzheimer’s is similar in a way to other mental afflictions like depression, bipolar, etc., in which only the individual, not other people, understand there is something amiss going on in this person’s brain. After all, unlike an individual who is blind or unable to walk, the Alzheimer’s sufferer, just like someone with bipolar, seems no different than an able-bodied person.  Indeed. On many occasions, Tina seems and acts just like she always has. Highly ambulatory, happy, bubbly, full of life as she loves the many activities at the care center where she lives.But then she tells us her sister Melanie called her several weeks ago, but she says nothing about us all going out to eat for Thanksgiving. You learn to not mention it. Neither does she mention the Christmas card I sent because she doesn’t remember getting it.In short, it has been a difficult time, but also a very rewarding, learning experience in which I am learning what it is truly like to have a loved one with a diagnosis. It’s more than words on a page. Coping with it kicks you in the teeth some days. But it’s not so bad on other occasions, and for those times I am truly grateful.Like any of the setbacks and difficulties we all experience in life, we can take solace that while our journeys may be rocky, God will be there to steer us through. I do well when I remember that. And I hope Tina does, too.

Mike Jacquart belongs to a Fresh Hope support group and the author of “Climbing out of Darkness: A Personal Journey into Mental Wellness.” A retired magazine editor, he enjoys sharing his story of “pushing through” on blog posts, podcasts, and other presentations. For more information, contact him at michaeljacquart8@gmail.com

By Peggy Rice

As I talked about in my blog post last month , not every holiday looks like the Norman Rockwell pictures we see or the ones in our minds. For many, facing Christmas when dealing with a mental health challenge – either your own, or that of someone you love – can be daunting. Or discouraging. Or sad.

So how can we face this time of year – a time of celebration of our Lord Jesus’ birth – with reasonable expectations? How can we manage the Advent Season with joy, in spite of our mental health circumstances?

I think there are many steps we can take to help us embrace peace and joy, like the Christmas Carols suggest. I encourage you choose a few from the list below – pick the ones that are easy for you to implement. (Some of these suggestions come from Fresh Hope for Mental Health materials and their social media postings. Others are from Theresa Borchard, Depressions Busters, Beyond Blue, beliefnet.com)

• Create a list of the things that really bring you joy, and make your plans according to those, not someone else’s expectations.
• Create a Not-To-Do-Now list – can it wait for another time? Maybe the annual Family Christmas letter could be a Love Letter that goes out in February!
• Don’t strive for perfection! Maybe instead of the whole house decorated for Christmas, it’s just one room. Or instead of the decked-out Christmas tree, it’s enough to display just one ornament that you find meaningful. If you don’t have a fancy hanger it can swing from, consider a piece of thread/string/yarn tied through the top, and dangling from a drawer pull. Or sitting in a small bowl on your table. Pick one that brings you pleasant memories.
• Practice self-care. Try to find a few minutes each week (each day?!) that you can set aside for yourself. To write in your gratitude journal, or paint your fingernails, or smell a candle scent as it burns gently. Take a nap, if you need to.
• Connect with loved ones; spend quality time with people who make you feel good. Maybe give a trusted family member a call and videochat for 10 minutes, or meet a good friend at a local coffee shop for an hour.
• If you must see people you don’t really want to see, set a time limit.  Let it be known at the beginning of the visit that you only have time for x-y-z, and excuse yourself when it’s time to go.
• Keep to a regular sleep schedule. Exercise (even a walk around the block). Eat well, and limit your drinking to only 1, if any.
• Beef up your support system: if you usually go to 1 meeting a week, go to 2.  Have extra babysitters lined up.  Have phone numbers of support people in your cell.  Plan an extra visit with your therapist.
• Allow yourself to feel your feelings, even if they include messy ones like grief. Give yourself time to cry for the loved ones you miss, especially this time of year.
• Try to make it easy – “wrap” the gifts in brown paper bags. Pick up the dessert you said you’d bring to the party from the grocery store. Make an appearance at the office Christmas Party – you don’t have to stay for the whole thing.
• Give yourself permission to say “No,” without feeling guilty.
• Review your triggers; what has triggered you in previous years? Know what to watch for.  Avoid them, or review your plan of what actions you’re going to take if faced with that trigger. Review your WRAP Plan.
• Think about others.  If you need a pick-me-up, do something nice for someone else.
• Read the Christmas story from Matthew 2:1-15 or Luke 1:5-2:20. Don’t feel pressured to read it all at once – linger over just a few verses at a time, and marvel at how God kept His promises from long ago, how they came true that first Christmas night when He sent our Savior, His Son Jesus.

The holidays can be hard when you’re already dealing with depression or anxiety, already simply trying to get out of bed, or stop the racing thoughts. If your loved one struggles, you might wonder what you can do that won’t set them off. Try to be patient with yourself, and consider doing less this year than you might have done in the past. It’s ok. Everything has a season, and maybe this season is a little slower, a little gentler, than other years.

The focus of Christmas isn’t the decorations, or the gifts, or the big family gatherings anyway. It’s that Jesus left heaven and came to earth as a baby. John 1:14 in the Message Paraphrase says that He “moved into the neighborhood.” Isn’t that amazing? He came to be with us (that’s what Immanuel means). He entered into His created world, and lived a perfect life, and gave that life for us when He hung on the cross as the punishment for our sins. And the greatest gift? He rose again, defeating sin and death, and making a way for us to be restored into a relationship with Him, for eternity. And He gave us His Holy Spirit – living in us as believers, and His Word, the Bible, to teach us about who He is, and how He loves us. That’s what Christmas is for. To get to know the baby who grew up to be our Savior. So focus on that, and let the rest of it go.

Peggy has been involved with Fresh Hope as a Group Facilitator for 5 years and as the Hope Coach trainer for 3. You can reach her at peggy@freshhope.us

By Mark Soppit

The Christmas season, filled with joy, celebration, giving and receiving, can also bring stress and emotional challenges. Here are some lessons from the Christmas story we can think about to help us stay healthy and well.

Embracing Unexpected Changes:

The story of Mary and Joseph reminds us that life is full of unexpected changes. Imagine Mary, a young woman, receiving the angel Gabriel’s startling announcement that she would give birth to the Savior (Luke 1:26-38). Such an unexpected event could easily overwhelm anyone, yet Mary’s response was of grace and acceptance: “I am the Lord’s servant…Let it be to me according to your word.” Her simple statement of surrender and faith for her future put her life in God’s hands to watch over and protect her.

Learning to embrace the unexpected with faith and trust, rather than fear is a great skill to develop. It is developing a growth mindset, or one that is open to change, rather than a fixed one, which tends to be more fearful and rigid. At Christmas, plans may not always go as you want or expect — perhaps a family gathering is disrupted, or a gift fails to arrive on time. Handling these changes with patience and flexibility can reduce stress and allow us to see other blessings that may come by surprise.

Finding Peace in the Midst of Chaos:

The journey to Bethlehem was far from perfect for Mary and Joseph. Imagine traveling on foot and by donkey, only to find there was no room at the inn (Luke 2:4-7). Disappointment and discomfort marked Jesus’ birth, yet it was in the simplicity of a manger that peace and miracle unfolded.

In our own lives, seeking peace amidst chaos is essential for emotional well-being. This may involve finding quiet moments to reflect, pray, or simply breathe amidst festive activities. Whether it’s a brief walk, a moment of prayer, or quiet meditation on Scripture, these practices can anchor and calm our minds.

Cherishing Humble Moments:

The birth of Jesus in a humble stable is a profound reminder of the beauty in simplicity. The shepherds, ordinary people tending their flocks, were the first to receive the glorious news of Jesus’ birth and visit Him (Luke 2:8-20). They remind us that precious moments of connection and joy can be found in simplicity.

As we celebrate Christmas, focusing on humble, simple joys rather than material extravagance can deepen our sense of fulfillment. Cherishing time with loved ones, sharing stories, and giving thanks for each other can create more meaningful memories than most presents. Our family started doing a Secret Santa a number of years ago to remove the pressure to buy expensive presents and add an expectant excitement to our get together. By drawing names from a hat, no one knew who their gift-giver was, and by setting a limit that wasn’t excessive it forced us to be creative. It has brought a lot of fun and meaning to our family.

Practicing Generosity with Intent:

The wise men, or Magi, traveled many miles bearing gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh to honor Jesus (Matthew 2:1-12). Their journey demonstrated intentional generosity, a practice that brings joy both to the giver and receiver. God loves cheerful givers who decide in their heart what to give without being pressured to give more than they can afford (2 Corinthians 8-9).

During Christmas, we can practice generosity not just in material giving but also in spirit — through acts of kindness, words of encouragement, or volunteering to help those less fortunate. Intentional generosity blesses our communities and brings a meaningful sense of purpose and connection that supports emotional well-being.

Embracing Solitude and Reflection:

Before Jesus’ birth, Joseph demonstrates remarkable strength and reflection. Upon learning of Mary’s pregnancy, he planned to divorce her quietly. Yet, after an angelic visitation in a dream, he chose to stand by Mary (Matthew 1:18-24). Joseph’s story highlights the importance of solitude and reflective decision-making. Sometimes decisions made in reaction don’t bring the best outcomes. Christmas has the ability to throw unexpected emotional curve balls into our lives.

In our busy lives, carving out time for solitude allows for reflection and clear thinking. This season, set aside moments to ponder life’s direction, your values, and blessings. This reflective practice can provide clarity and peace, preparing our hearts for the true spirit of Christmas.

Trusting in Divine Timing:

Throughout the Christmas narrative, divine timing plays a critical role. From the census calling Mary and Joseph to Bethlehem to the wise men following the star, we see perfect timing at work.

Trusting in divine timing can bring peace when we are unsure what the future holds. Knowing that God was always at work in the story of Jesus’ birth is encouraging as we face uncertainties and challenges. He is involved in our lives, weaving our unique stories into His great plan.

In conclusion:

The Christmas story provides more than a narrative of Christ’s birth; it offers insights and inspiration for mental and emotional wellness. By embracing change, finding peace amidst chaos, cherishing simplicity, practicing generosity, engaging in reflection, and trusting divine timing, we can walk through this season with a joyful and peaceful heart.

I hope that we can all celebrate Christ’s birth with peace. If Christmas fills you with dread, may you know the closeness of Immanuel, God with us, filling your heart with love. When we calm our heart we have the opportunity to offer it afresh to the Light of the world, who came to deliver and save us. My favourite carol is “In the Bleak Midwinter,” largely because of the final verse. As I sing it, it reminds me that I may not have much, but I do have a heart I can give to Jesus in gratitude for what He has done.

“What can I give him,

poor as I am?

If I were a shepherd,

I would bring a lamb,

if I were a wise man

I would do my part,

yet what I can I give him,

give my heart.”

Mark lives in Niagara Falls, Canada with his wife, Janet. They have 5 children and a dog and enjoy exercise, public speaking, and motivating others. They have walked through many years of navigating mental illness and its effects on their marriage, their children, and pretty much every aspect of their lives. Through Living Well Coaching, their desire is to connect people to Jesus’ unlimited resources, and help them build resilient, healthy, and fruitful lives that glorify God and reach their full potential. You can follow them on social media: INSTAGRAM @livingwellcoaching; FACEBOOK livingwellcoachingniagara or their website Livingwellcoaching.ca

By Scott Box

“aJesusStory” comprises the regular episodes of life resulting from living as a gritty, heroic worshiper of Jesus. I knew it was my responsibility to invite people into my journey to tell and show them that Jesus had control of my crises and was ordering the chaos in and around me. As my desperation did for me, your desperation to know and depend on Jesus becomes your secret weapon, too. Here’s a quick explanation in under 1000 words. Wink.

Desperation gave me two directions I could choose between in my “aJesusStory:”
I could move into isolation and dark hopelessness,
Or I could choose to move toward a hopeful dependence on Jesus.

There is no other way to explain it; my gritty struggle and suffering as a result of Bipolar disorder and unrelenting low back pain broke my understanding of Jesus and Christian worship. In other words, my lack of mental health and back pain helped me look to Jesus in desperation and long for His rescue even in the most minor aspects of my everyday life: my words, actions, relationships and situations. I had previously thought such humbling dependence on Jesus to be unquestionably unnecessary—if I had maintained this thinking, hopelessness would have been a legitimate destination.

Suffering caused me to reach this breakpoint. That is when I learned that my desperation to know Jesus became the secret ingredient in my story of faith, my “aJesusStory.” My desperation for Jesus resulted in a dependence on Jesus that rebuilt my broken understanding of Christian worship and witness. My secret:

If I am not desperate for Jesus, I do not need Jesus.
Ironic? Maybe. Stupid? No. The times I thought I did not need Jesus to save the day every day, I was wrong—I got hurt, and so did others—in small and big ways. So I embrace desperation for Jesus in my daily living—my “aJesusStory” today. I would be lying to myself to say, “I do not need Jesus.” I do. I need Him to remind me why I get out of bed every morning and why I encourage and respect people the way I do. Desperate dependence on Jesus—my lifestyle of worship—affects my “aJesusStory,” my witness for Jesus.

I chose to begin to live my worship of Jesus with intentional, desperate dependence on Jesus because I needed Him to “come through” for me permanently. The answer to my desperation was to grab and hold onto Jesus for dear life; I was longing for Him to fulfill His promise of new life and endless adventure despite my pain and crises. Jesus had awakened in me a desire for Him to tell a better story with my life than I was telling on my own. So, I began reaching out urgently to have Jesus be my hero regularly.
Heck, outside of Jesus, I still have no answers for my crisis of perpetual mental and physical pain and chaos. I could not, and cannot, rescue myself or order the chaos around me. It all came/comes at me too fast. I needed Jesus to rescue me in every way that mattered. I still do.

This analogy might seem like it is coming out of left field, but consider it: In the same way as a telescope like the Hubble or James Webb looks into the stars and reveals the world beyond Earth, when I started to look beyond myself to Jesus to save me, all of a sudden, I became a part of a story so much bigger than me—His “aJesusStory.” I realized my pain and crises were invaluable to my worship of Jesus Christ—my “aJesusStory”—I was desperate for Jesus to rescue me.

My suffering and desperation were the sparks that caused me to begin to depend on and trust that Jesus understood my pain in the same way He depended on and trusted in God, His Father, with His pain and suffering to tell the most extraordinary heroic story ever with His life—Jesus’ story—the first “aJesusStory.” My sufferings caused me agony, but they were the very things that guided me, in my state of desperate brokenness, back to Jesus. So, because of Bipolar disorder and chronic back pain, I chose to grab onto Jesus to live and tell a gritty but heroic story for others—my “aJesusStory.”
“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”—Romans 5:3-5

When you and I release control and become desperately dependent on Jesus to save the day in our words, actions, relationships and situations, our hope, expectation, rest, and obedience as the icon of Christ can increase because of our suffering. We eliminate hopelessness as a destination and begin to live a gritty “aJesusStory” that tells a heroic “aJesusStory” about Jesus. I know that reads a little clunky, but proper understanding and application of our sufferings shape our work as witnesses for Jesus. Then, our gritty lifestyles of worship can tell heroic stories about Jesus, inviting others who share in our sufferings to choose Jesus instead of hopelessness.
Your “aJesusStory” is the tool that can awaken a longing for Jesus in people who are being threatened by hopelessness—as you once were—and who do not know the purpose of suffering and desperation—but you do.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”—2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Scott and Kariann Box live in Redmond, Oregon. Scott serves as Pastor of Development at Shiloh Ranch Church and has been a worship leader for over twenty-five years. Kariann works as a Realtor in Central Oregon and supports Scott’s…creative spirit. They have two children, a one-hundred-pound Labradoodle and a four-pound Shih Tzu without teeth. Scott is the author of HEROIC DISGRACE: Order out of chaos. Hope out of fear. ― A Worship Hero Story 

By Peggy Rice

A Norman Rockwell painting (Freedom From Want, 1943) shows a Thanksgiving feast, with the whole family gathered around the edges, and a large cooked turkey being placed at the head of the table. While this may be the picture that lots of folks have in their heads of what the holiday should look like, the reality of it is often far from true. For many, there is not freedom from want. There is not a large crowd of family. There is not abundance of food. There is not joy and laughter.

For many, holidays – like Thanksgiving – are especially painful times. Perhaps they remind folks of loss from this last year – loss of a loved one, a job, of friends because of a move across the country. Maybe the year brought new things – a mental health diagnosis, a physical ailment, an estrangement, an unwanted challenge.

Not everything looks like the picture.

But God.

But God is not surprised by our current circumstances, our losses or our “gains.” He does not leave us when our situation turns ugly, or undesirable. In fact, He draws closer: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” Ps. 34:18, NLT.

God calls for us to be thankful. “…give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” I Thess 5:18, ESV. He knows that it’s good for us to look around our lives to find things to thank Him for, as this will help change our perspective, from focus on ourselves to focus on Him.

So how do we do that? Look up from ourselves and look to God? When we’re lonely. Or sad. Or hurting. Or sick. Or scared. Or worried. How in the world do we overcome the inertia? How do we pull our gaze heavenward?

I would say … start by looking around.

When my kids were young, part of the bedtime routine was saying prayers together. I remember one night, sitting on the side of my son’s bed, as he began.

“Dear Jesus. Thank You for … my … ball. Thank You for … my … lamp. Thank You for … my … juice.” And during the “ … ” he was looking around the room. There was a long pause between “for,” “my,” and whatever he would say, as he looked all over to see the things around him. To see his blessings – the things he had that made his room feel safe and cozy, and when he spied them, he thanked God for them!

We can do the same thing. Maybe we can’t find anything in our circumstances that makes us grateful. But we can look around the room and thank God for what we can see. The pretty couch. The cat who snuggles. The sun shining outside.

Or maybe we listen, and thank God for what we hear. The laughter of the neighbor kids as they kick the ball down the sidewalk. The bird chirping in the tree. The gentle rain on the roof.

What about what we can smell or taste? The coffee brewing. The chocolate candy.

And touch? Is the blanket soft? Is the chair back supportive?

Using all of your senses, identify some things around you – right now – that you can thank God for. This will do three things:

1. It will ground you in the present moment, which fights against anxiety and depression.

2. It will change your negative thoughts to positive ones, even if just for a few seconds.

3. It will bring God into focus, as the Giver of Good Gifts.

I challenge you to do this regularly, daily. Maybe even more often than that! Notice what’s around you, and remember that God is the one who provides, so we can give Him thanks.

A further challenge – write it down! Take a small notebook – doesn’t have to be anything fancy, unless you want it to be – and turn it into a Gratitude Journal, where you record these gifts from God. Then make a habit of going back and glancing through it. The review will remind you of God’s faithfulness to you.

God tells us in His word to remember Him. He gave the Israelites Feasts and routines and markers to help them remember His care for them, His provision, His saving. We can do the same, by observing His gifts to us, and giving Him thanks and praise.

“Then I will praise God’s name with singing, and I will honor him with thanksgiving.” Psalm 69:30, NLT

Peggy has been involved with Fresh Hope as a Group Facilitator for 5 years and as the Hope Coach trainer for 3. You can reach her at peggy@freshhope.us

By Mike Jacquart

I’ll never forget the phone call. It was from my good friend, Tim*, on a Sunday ,morning in late April, 2008. His voice clearly shaky, it was all Tim could do to utter the words, “Steve* is gone.”  (*Names are changed to protect privacy.) STEVE? I thought. How can that be? Steve was the only one of us who still ran regularly and who hadn’t gained weight since high school. His wife, Jill*? Now, that any of us could have believed since Jill had a number of health concerns including diabetes. Or Dan*?  Dan had suffered a stroke some years back and was living in an assisted living facility. But STEVE? We learned Steve was experiencing significant personal problems. He was worried about losing his job and the financial impact that would have on paying for an upcoming operation for Jill. Steve had reached out to several of his best friends, including me, anxiously looking for potential answers for his serious concerns. It turned out that Steve had also reached out to a mental health professional and was diagnosed with bipolar 1*, for which he was receiving a medication. Like me, Steve had lost a number of jobs, so that part of his troubles was not a big surprise. But Steve, a highly resilient individual, had always gotten through such obstacles before.  What could have been so different this time that he took his life?

Looking back, with the exception of his wife and therapist, I don’t think any of us recognized what a precarious mental state he was in. After all, guys get through problems like these with little help. Right? The fact the normally resilient Steve had reached out for professional assistance should have been more of a wake-up call for his close friends. Diagnosed with ADHD and depression six years earlier, I was more aware of mental health issues than my other friends. But that meant little at the time. The news was still shocking. I had never known anyone who had taken their life.The explanation Tim gave was that Steve had overdosed on pills, a number sufficient enough to be sure he would be dead. The best man at my wedding was gone. Since Steve and Tim had a lot in common in their stressful careers, they had grown particularly close. I could only imagine how difficult it was for Tim to make that call.

I soon learned what a wide range of emotions one experiences when learning devastating news like that. Anger. How could Steve do that to his family and friends? Denial. He’s not even  50, how could “healthy” Steve be dead? (We all learned the hard way how one can appear to be healthy physically speaking, but still be suffering mentally, pain that is every bit as real as a physical ailment.) But the biggest question was WHY.

That is often the biggest question of survivors, and yet, it is the most difficult one to answer. Thank the good Lord I have never attempted suicide, but I have had suicidal thoughts, so I believe I can relate to some of the feelings a person that despondent is experiencing. In my case at least, it’s not so much that you want to die, but that you are so depressed that you don’t care if you are alive or dead. And if you are a Christian, like Steve, the next life seems much more appealing at this point.When we are depressed, it’s difficult to focus on anything other than ourselves and what we are feeling at the time. As a result, I’m not sure if the suicidal person gives a lot of thought to the impact their passing will have on others, and the corresponding baggage they’ll be left with. 

Is there anything any of us could have done to prevent it? How did we miss the point of just how “down and out” Steve really felt? Blame. Steve’s family was tough on Jill. I later learned that since family members may not grasp that their loved one could have taken their life, they will blame someone else for their loss. And this was poor Jill, as if her own mourning was not enough.In addition, some believe that a person who takes their life is condemned to hell. We knew Steve was a devout believer who had accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior, so his close friends were confident that Steve was with God in Heaven, free of his misery. But a statement of faith, and personal conversion, is not convincing enough to some, nor does it offer consolation for their loss.

Sixteen years later, questions like, “Have you had thoughts of hurting yourself or taking your life?” come up in many mental health assessments. Back then, I’m not sure they were. Today, the importance of taking a mental health condition and diagnosis seriously is better understood. And yet, never assume the worst couldn’t happen. A person like Steve is reaching out to close friends FOR A REASON. Pray fervently for this individual. Make sure this person is receiving assistance from a licensed mental health professional – but even that is no guarantee.”If you find yourself thinking of suicide, especially if you have a plan, consider it an emergency, as much as you would consider chest pain a sign to go to the emergency room,” wrote Marina London, a licensed clinical social worker, in my book, Climbing out of Darkness: A Personal Journey into Mental Health. “If you have a therapist, call him or her. If you are connected to a support group, get in touch.”The 24/7 National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 988.

International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day is an event in which survivors of suicide loss come together to find connection, understanding, and hope through their shared experience. This year, International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day is Saturday, November 23, 2024.

Mike Jacquart belongs to a Fresh Hope support group and the author of “Climbing out of Darkness: A Personal Journey into Mental Wellness.” A retired magazine editor, he enjoys sharing his story of “pushing through” on blog posts, podcasts, and other presentations. For more information, contact him at michaeljacquart8@gmail.com

By Scott Box

You are the test audience, dear reader, and I need your help—Please provide feedback.

Below are “7 Questions” that can help you tell a gritty story (about mental health) that tells a heroic story about Jesus—aJesusStory. aJesusStory is the outcome of living a lifestyle as a heroic worshiper of Jesus. Rather than providing tasks or directives, these questions are designed to speak to your hopes and dreams and awaken a longing within you to identify, shape and release your gritty story to others—to experience your story’s extraordinary power for your health and the health of others. 

1. What crisis or mess in my life is forcing me to ask, “Who is in control?”

Purpose: This question draws my attention to my crises and moments of desperation where God’s redemptive work begins. It roots my story in reality, acknowledging my pain and anxiety.

2. Does Jesus see Himself in the W.A.R.S. of my life—my words, actions, relationships and situations?

Purpose: This question bridges the cosmic and the mundane. It asks me to examine my daily life and whether my worship reflects Christ in all areas.

3. How do I hope when crisis surrounds me, and what do I expect God to do when He has to come through?

Purpose: This invites me to reflect on the hope and expectation that drives my faith even in hard times.

4. What are the things I control that push back chaos and bring order to life?

Purpose: This question reminds me of my agency in reflecting Jesus by bringing order to my life and community through discipline and obedience.

5. Do I allow God to “make healthy what He doesn’t heal?”

Purpose: This question focuses on how God’s power and story are at work, even in my unresolved pain.

6. Whose life will be influenced if they know my story, and who will suffer if I keep silent?

Purpose: This question makes me feel urgent about sharing my story. It reminds me that my testimony has the power to change my life and the lives of others.

7- Does my life awaken a longing in others for Jesus, and how does my story fit into Jesus’ heroic story?

Purpose: This question ties everything together, prompting me to see my life as part of God’s cosmic heroic narrative and inspiring me to declare my story.

I have designed this flow of questions to blend Jesus’ heroic narrative with practical life. The questions move me from self-reflection into outward action. The “7 Questions” framework reminds me that my life can be filled with heroic acts of worship that culminate in the powerful declaration of what I call, aJesusStory. “Telling my gritty story to tell a heroic story about Jesus” gives meaning to my pain and helps me lock down God’s purpose for my life. 

I hope the “7 Questions” tool excites you and causes you to consider the power your story has to help you as much as it has to help others. Even your most graphic crisis can transform your worship of Jesus Christ, the Great Hero, into a form of worship that tells a heroic story about Jesus. Desperation for Jesus drove me into hopeful dependence on Jesus. I’ll share more about how desperation intersects with heroic worship next month. 

In the meantime, please review these questions and let me know your thoughts in the comments. Also, to guide your thinking about the “7 Questions” even more, consider asking yourself the following: 

• What question is the most difficult for you to answer honestly?
• What question do you want to ask a friend or family member? 
• What question will you ask yourself every day for the next week/month? 

“Many of the Samaritans from that village committed themselves to him because of the woman’s witness: “He knew all about the things I did. He knows me inside and out!” They asked him to stay on, so Jesus stayed two days. A lot more people entrusted their lives to him when they heard what he had to say. They said to the woman, “We’re no longer taking this on your say-so. We’ve heard it for ourselves and know it for sure. He’s the Savior of the world!”—John 4:39-42 MSG

Scott and Kariann Box live in Redmond, Oregon. Scott serves as Pastor of Development at Shiloh Ranch Church and has been a worship leader for over twenty-five years. Kariann works as a Realtor in Central Oregon and supports Scott’s…creative spirit. They have two children, a one-hundred-pound Labradoodle and a four-pound Shih Tzu without teeth. Scott is the author of HEROIC DISGRACE: Order out of chaos. Hope out of fear. ― A Worship Hero Story 

by Peggy Rice

I recently got new hearing aids. I’d had my old ones for a little over 7 years. Since that time, the technology and design of hearing aids had changed, improved. While mine still worked, there were features that would help my hearing that the current pair just didn’t offer. And my current pair was finally to that age where it wasn’t going to be able to keep up with my hearing loss as I grow older. The original pair was designed for low to mid loss, but my hearing loss is moving to lower levels, more severe loss. I needed a tool that would keep up with me for the years to come.

My new hearing aids are rechargeable. No more pinkie-nail-sized batteries to replace every week. Now, I just put the bases of the aids in little slots in the box, and a blinky light comes on, telling me that they’re charging. Long before I get up the next morning, they’re ready to go.

As I take them from the charger and put them in my ears, there’s a little chime that sounds from them – they’re on. And I can check the app on my phone to make sure both are at capacity and the volume is adjusted correctly.

It’s amazing to me – all that I can hear when I put them in my ears. Sounds I didn’t even realize I was missing!

If the windows are open, I can hear our fountain in the back yard, gurgling and bubbling. I can hear birds chirping at the feeder. I can hear cars driving down the street. As I move into the kitchen, I can hear the dishwasher running. I can hear my cat Henry, who has the quietest “Mew,” as he greets me. All these sounds were silent to me, before I put in my hearing aids.

I think there’s a parallel here, with hearing what God has to say to me. How do I hear Him, especially since He often speaks in a “still, small voice” (I Kings 19:12, KJV)? Some translations say “a gentle whisper.” What are my “hearing aids,” that let me hear God’s voice?

A steady intake of God’s Word is the first “hearing aid.” If I want to know what God says, I need to read His Word and learn His will. I need to know about His character and the things that please Him. I will be able to live the way God calls me to live, if I know what it is, and I do that by being reading the Bible daily.

There are lots of ways to do that – simply pick up a Bible and start reading! But to be honest, I am more consistent if I follow a plan, so I read devotionals and Bible plans on my Bible app (the YouVersion Bible App is my favorite – you can find it at the Apple Store or the Google Play Store). This tool even opens to a daily verse and short devotional, followed by guided prayer. And it’s on my phone – right at my fingertips!

There are also a gazillion devotionals available, on this app, or at the library or bookstores. Several that I’m using now are Sarah Young’s Jesus Calling and Jesus Today, and Paul David Tripp’s New Morning Mercies. There’s the classic by Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest. In fact, many respected Christian authors, preachers, and teachers have written devotionals. Just pick one that includes Scripture – that is not just the authors’ thoughts. The point here is to be reading God’s Word.

Ok, so reading God’s Word consistently in one “hearing aid.” Another is worship. And worship is not just singing songs. It’s about focusing on who God is – His character, His attributes – and praising Him for those. It’s not about asking for things. It’s about God. Taking time to get to know who He is. And, surprise, surprise, that takes me back to “hearing aid” one, because I’m going to learn about God by reading His Word!

Listening to Christian music – my own playlists or the local Christian radio station, help me in this area throughout the week. And on the weekends, worshiping in a church with other believers is a great way to recharge my “hearing aid” – corporate worship is so uplifting!

A third “hearing aid” is being with a community of Christian believers. Spending time around people who love the Lord and long to put Him first in their lives rubs off on me. I am challenged, and encouraged, and supported in a group of fellow Christians. For me, I get this through my Fresh Hope Support Group – these are folks who, like me, face a mental health challenge – either their own, or a loved one’s – and we meet regularly to share stories and prayer requests and discuss God’s working in our lives as we walk this mental health journey. To find a Fresh Hope Support Group, check out freshhope.us, and look for a group in your area or one that meets online.

I also participate in a Women’s Bible Study at my church, and a weekly prayer group, as ways to find support in Christian community. Again, there are all kinds of resources online, if you can’t find them in your local community.

My “hearing aids” for hearing God: consistent Bible reading, worshiping God for who He is, and Christian community. These tools allow me to know what God says – about Himself, about how He sees me, about how He wants me to show my love to others. I learn to hear Him, in His “gentle whisper,” as He works in my life to shape me to look more and more like Jesus.

Peggy has been involved with Fresh Hope as a Group Facilitator for 5 years and as the Hope Coach trainer for 3. You can reach her at peggy@freshhope.us