By Mike Jacquart

Mental health for men is a new series of blog posts and podcasts developed and distributed by Fresh Hope for Mental Health http://freshhope.us. Portions are excerpted from Mike’s book, Climbing out of Darkness: A Personal Journey into Mental Wellness. For more information, contact Mike at madjac@tds.net

By Mike Jacquart

You may have heard the saying, “You can’t keep doing things the same way but expect different results.” And yet, how many of us remain on the same treadmill and lament how unhappy and depressed we really are. 

For many years, I was in denial about the seriousness of my mental health issues. I was convinced that employment, not psychological difficulties, was the cause of my problems. As I wrote in my book, Climbing out of Darkness: A Personal Journey into Mental Wellness (with Marina London LCSW) “I was very anxious and worried – but I thought that somehow, someway I was only a job away from happiness.” In the meantime, like many men, I figured I would just “tough it out” until I found that elusive position. 

After many years of serious work issues, which included terminations and resignations, the light switch finally went on that whether I was working or not, my core issues (depression and anxiety) never completely went away. I came to realize that the more things changed, the more they stayed the same. 

This epiphany, divinely inspired I might add, occurred twenty years ago, but it was so life changing I remember it like yesterday.

My wife and I agreed it was time for me to talk to a counselor about my struggles with depression, anxiety, and related feelings. I learned that the school district my wife worked for had an employee assistance program (EAP). Once I admitted I needed help, I had no difficulty making the initial call to set up the first appointment. Years later, I realized that, sadly, a lot of people never do this, seeing counseling as a sign that they are deficient in some way, because they are unable to figure out their problems on their own.

With my frequent job woes, it was obvious I was not getting to the root of these issues myself. What would it hurt to get an impartial opinion and determine what was behind my troubles?

After several sessions, I completed a detailed questionnaire, which led my counselor to diagnose me with “mild depression and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.” 

The EAP counselor’s next step was to refer me to my primary physician for a medication evaluation. After his examination, he prescribed buproprion, the generic name for Wellbutrin. I was excited to learn there was something that would help me get better. 

As I noted, the impact of seeing an EAP counselor proved lifechanging. I do not remember how long it took for the medication to kick in, or the dosage I was prescribed, but eventually my energy level and enthusiasm for life shot through the roof! It was as if a veil had been lifted from my eyes. 

“So, this is how I’m SUPPOSED to feel!” I thought. “No wonder other people are happier and enjoy life more!” All of the smiles and laughter that puzzled me in the past suddenly made sense. It is easy to assume that being aloof, and not smiling or laughing very much, is simply who you are as a person. That is what I often thought, and it’s an unfortunate mindset that probably keeps many people from seeking medical or social services. 

These feelings of euphoria eventually subsided, but I retained a greater “love of life” than I had known before. I began to realize just how much my diagnosis had plagued me in the past, not only on jobs, but also in my personal life.

Peace of mind replaced my negative feelings, anxiety, and poor self-esteem. Medication played a significant role in correcting my brain chemistry. But other factors, a positive boss and work environment in my next job, where I worked for fourteen years, supportive friends and coworkers, my strong faith, and a sense of purpose in both my job and through volunteering, were also important in my journey to recovery.

This is not to say that everything after my diagnosis and medication was rosy. I relied almost exclusively on my meds to minimize symptoms. If I had it to do over, I would have sought out another counselor much earlier than I did. While depressive incidents were now rare, I had no idea why they 

While I felt better mentally than I did earlier in my life, truth be told, I remained a typical male in some respects, stuck on “gutting out” any given mental health problem on my own. Finally, after a major depressive incident in 2017, and tired of trying to explain mental health issues to people who don’t understand them, I knew I needed assistance from other people with mental health challenges. A friend suggested I attend a Fresh Hope support meeting, and I gladly accepted.

The main idea is that while we all need assistance from doctors and other professionals on the journey to mental wellness, the individual with the diagnosis needs to assume responsibility as the lead person in this process. One of the most important concepts I have learned in my Fresh Hope group was how to start taking control of my thought life.

Counseling played a major role in my initial journey into mental wellness. I only wish I had sought one out sooner. Years later, after struggling with depression again, a Fresh Hope support group led me back into wellness. If my story helps even one person who has been stuck in darkness, thinking there is no hope, it will have been worth sharing it. 

Mike Jacquart has a Bachelor of Science degree in journalism from the University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh. Mike served as editor of the Journal of Employee Assistance for twelve years. For more information on Climbing out of Darkness: A Personal Journey into Mental Wellness (with Marina London LCSW) or a personalized copy of this book, contact Mike at mjacquart@writeitrightllc.com.

By Mike Jacquart

I thought one of the best comments Marina London made during the writing of my book, Climbing out of Darkness: A Personal Journey into Mental Wellness, pertained to her experiences seeing troubled employees as a licensed mental health professional for major hospital and corporate clients.

“Nine times out of ten, their unhappiness was due to a very poor fit between the employee’s personality and the work environment,” wrote London. “I found myself repeatedly recommending those employees look for a more suitable position.”
“Bingo!” I thought. Whether one wants to call it corporate culture, work environment, work lifestyle, or my term, “fit,” it’s not just what you do for a living, but also where you work that can play a strong role in success. I have to believe that when one suffers from a mental health challenge, this “fit” becomes even more crucial.

This statement stems from personal experience, having lost a number of jobs during my 35-year career as a reporter, writer, and editor. I’m convinced that a poor fit between my personality and a fast-paced work environment-which my depression and anxiety issues exacerbated-played a significant role in my termination. Others would agree.

“To be hyper focused and engaged all the time in a company culture, while struggling with depression is debilitating work,” wrote licensed mental health professional Maureen Hotchner in Climbing out of Darkness.
Indeed, it is. Every workplace has interruptions, but they seemed to be endless at one particular company, a firm that was actually a pleasant place to work. Everyone seemed so happy and cheerful. The problem was it was a little too exuberant for me. Seemingly multitudes of coworkers would stop by our cubicle area each day. Our cubicles were in close proximity, and since I had concentration issues, the continual disturbances were difficult to cope with. Many times, I felt like saying to one of my colleagues,
“Don’t you have any work to do? You can have some of mine!” But no one else felt they were being too
talkative, so I just forced a smile instead.

As Marina wrote, “when you are depressed, everything is an effort. That includes socializing.” (As I learned years later, social isolation is a trait of depressive disorder.) Imagine yourself in a race, day in, day out, and you are continually struggling to keep up. That’s what depression is like. You feel like you’re running in place, while everyone else is sprinting past you.

There were some slower, less stressful and quieter work environments at this firm, but when I talked to HR about working elsewhere, I was told the company was not in the habit of providing “lateral transfers.” In other words, the new job had to be a promotion, not one that involved similar work.

“Nobody talks to young people about the lifestyle that accompanies a particular job,” London wrote. Someone should. While there were aspects of my job that were a good fit, such as writing and reporting, (which I liked and was good at,) there were other problems, like excessive chatter and a fast pace that often worsened my anxiety issues and were not good for my wellbeing.

Finally, several years after being let go by this employer, I accepted a position at a company that fit like a well-tailored suit. The pace was less hectic, and coworkers were less talkative, even considerate. It wasn’t unusual for a colleague to ask me, “Am I being too loud for you, Mike?” Wow! I was impressed. I worked there for 14 years, much longer than any other job I ever had.

I’m not suggesting that a job has to be perfect, because no position is. I am saying that when it comes to selecting a work environment, the more you know who you are, the better choices you can make. This is an important consideration in a rapidly changing world. And it is ESPECIALLY crucial when you have mental health challenges.

Mental health for men is a new series of blog posts and podcasts developed and distributed by Fresh Hope for Mental Health http://freshhope.us. Portions are excerpted from Mike’s book, “Climbing out of Darkness: A Personal Journey into Mental Wellness.” For more information, contact Mike at
mjacquart@writeitrightllc.com.

We are thrilled to announce that William Zipf (Will) has begun serving as a volunteer here at Fresh Hope for Mental Health as a National Ambassador for the US! Will’s extensive experience in the energy industry is matched only by his passion for mental
health advocacy, having seen firsthand the challenges that families and individuals face when dealing with mental illness.

William Zipf (Will) is a husband of 25 years and the father of two adult children. Will has worked in the energy industry for almost 30 years in a variety of roles. His current role is as an executive focused on transitioning thermal fired power plants to operate net carbon zero in a low carbon economy.

Most importantly, for this role, however, within Will’s family, mental health issues have been lifelong challenges. Will has seen first-hand how both the public at large and the Christian community misunderstand the very reality of mental health issues. Will has watched as both friends and family, both those with diagnosis and their loved ones,
have been hurt through well-meaning but misguided Christian beliefs.

Before Will found Fresh Hope, he felt called to serve and champion this community through a ministry that helped to span the gap between receiving treatment from health professionals and living life daily with a mental illness. Will found a home at Fresh Hope.

Will is honored to fill the role of National Ambassador for Fresh Hope and looks forward to serving the community by accepting the responsibility without any authority. One of the fundamental truths that God has led Will to see is that people who struggle with mental health issues don’t need another someone trying to exercise authority in their lives, they already have too many. Will takes to heart Matt 20:26-28 “ 26  It [exercising authority] shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, 27  and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, 28  even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Will’s deep commitment to serving those struggling with mental health issues makes him a perfect fit for the role of National Ambassador. In his new position, Will will support Fresh Hope’s facilitators through the Regional Ambassadors, providing support
and guidance to those working on the front lines of mental health support. Currently there are 5 volunteers serving as Regional Ambassadors within the US: Benita Fager, Dale and Martha Rose, Jason Pine, Scott Ohnmeis and Jannifer Barebo Cox. Will’s deep understanding of the challenges faced by those dealing with mental health issues, as well as his experience working in large-scale organizations, will be invaluable as he helps to build a network of support across the country.

One of the key responsibilities of Fresh Hope Ambassadors is connecting facilitatorswith each other, providing a space for best practices to be shared and mutual support to be offered. Will is eager to take on this role, using his extensive experience in
connecting people and organizations to build a thriving community of support.

As an Ambassador, Will will also be advocating for mental health in churches and other organizations, helping to raise awareness about mental health issues and promoting the importance of support groups as a tool for recovery. In addition to serving as a voice for mental health in his community, Will, and the Regional Ambassadors will also be offering direct support to facilitators as they navigate difficult conversations and situations.

Finally, Will is committed to encouraging self-care among facilitators, recognizing the importance of maintaining one’s own mental health and well-being in order to provide support to others. By offering resources and support to facilitators, Will will be helping to build a strong and resilient network of mental health advocates across the country.

We are incredibly grateful to have Will on board as a National Ambassador for Fresh Hope for Mental Health. We know that his experience, passion, and commitment to serving those in need will be an incredible asset to our organization.

Please join us in welcoming Will and wishing him all the best as he takes on this important role!

By Mike Jacquart

“Asking for help is not a sign of weakness,” writes Pastor Brad Hoefs in his landmark book, Fresh Hope: Living Well in Spite of a Mental Health Diagnosis.

Society, men especially, tend to see counseling as a signal that we are deficient in some way, unable to figure out our problems on our own. That is not the case.

And yet, an automotive tinkerer prides himself on being able to take on many car repairs on his own. He likes to think he has all the answers and never needs help from anyone else. To confess to requiring assistance, let alone admit to having a mental health condition, often results in being deemed weak and less manly.

As a result, many men, especially those in male-dominated professions, resist seeking professional help and turn to drugs or alcohol instead. Booze or a narcotic may seem to help temporarily, but the problem remains. “You can’t keep doing things the same way and expect different results.”

Seems simple enough, but even those who’ve heard that adage resist change. The truth is, it’s easier to keep drugging or drinking because at least it’s familiar, whereas seeking a thorough assessment from a licensed specialized professional like a psychologist or psychiatrist represents the unknown.

A drug or alcohol problem, job loss, or a wrecked relationship, may still make a person hesitant to seek help because a mental diagnosis and ensuing recovery seems even worse. “Real” men tough out their problems, don’t they? The truth is treatment and recovery involve less work than holding on to a hopeless mindset that somehow “you’re okay.”

At one time, I was convinced that employment, not psychological difficulties, was behind my problems. I had been anxious, depressed and worried for years, but I thought that somehow, someway I was only a job away from happiness. Then, in 2002, 21 years ago, I was so “sick and tired” of being “sick and tired” that I knew I HAD to try something different. What would it hurt to see a professional counselor? Was counseling going to make me feel WORSE?

Finally, at age 43, and after multiple job losses, with the encouragement of my wife I finally sought professional mental assistance. Doing so remains one of the smartest decisions I’ve ever made. I only wish I had come to that realization and sought help years earlier than I did.

But the past is the past. Thanks to the help of trained professionals, a supportive wife and friends, and divine intervention from a loving God, I am in a much better mental state than I was twenty years ago. God is in the business of restoring. If mental health assistance worked for me, it can work for you, too.

By Mike Jacquart

In the mental health realm, the letter D, as in Depression, can come before C, as in Cancer.

I only recently realized that after completing my book, Climbing out of Darkness: A Personal Journey into Mental Wellness (with Marina London LCSW) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BQ58KJH4?fbclid=IwAR27QzfHVTSHntSunkbciH_A4xcRz7Kuwor6hLwWlX9Hutc3IInh3dAaN9w

I never once mentioned the bladder cancer I was diagnosed with in 2019. There are several reasons why.

First, since my book focused on the depression and anxiety that I experienced through much of my life, particularly the problems that it posed for me in the working world, it stands to reason cancer was not an affliction that would have come to mind as readily.

And yet, when a doctor gives you a diagnosis of the dreaded C word, Cancer, wouldn’t anxiety have reared its ugly head as it had so many times in my past? Not necessarily. There are several reasons why. First and foremost my Christian faith tells me that when I die, thanks to Jesus dying for me on the cross, I will go to Heaven, so death is not terrifying for me. Was I apprehensive? Sure. Worried? Maybe. But sweating profusely and my blood pressure rising from anxiety after hearing the word “Cancer”? No.

After learning of the diagnosis, my wife consoled me that, “we would get through this together.” That helped, of course. Then came even better news. My physician informed me that he was confident he had removed the cancer in my bladder and that it was not invasive. As a result, he said that while I would need to undergo quarterly cystoscopy tests to ensure the cancer had not returned, if it hadn’t, the cystoscopies would suffice in terms of further treatment.

And thank God, a year later, it hadn’t! Lord willing, it won’t, either.

I need to stress that I did not write this post to boast or gain sympathy. For one thing, my diagnosis was admittedly “small potatoes” compared to a patient who faced typical cancer treatment lengthier and more in-depth than mine.

As men, we are taught to keep our emotions in check, “suck it up and tough it out” after learning we have cancer. Face it head-on, and then lick it. In of itself, a positive approach can be a very good thing (male or female).

The problem is, as men, we’re raised to deal with most any setback in life in a stoic, “be-tough” manner. But anyone reading this post knows “sucking it up and toughing it out” is NOT something that works with a mental health challenge such as depression or anxiety. A man suffering from chronic headaches would probably not forego medication to hold them at bay. Nor would a diabetic refrain from taking insulin.

A person can no more resolve clinical depression or another behavioral disorder on their own than go without insulin or leave those headaches untreated! Mental health IS health.

If you need treatments from an oncologist to rid your body of cancer, why would a person think they can also cure a mental problem? According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, roughly 58 million Americans experience a mental health impairment in a given year.

Since mental health conditions are that common, it stands to reason that D, in fact, can come before C.

By Mike Jacquart

Anyone who’s read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray – or any married man for that matter! – knows how different the sexes are. And yet, when I began writing Climbing out of Darkness, I was only vaguely aware that men resist counseling and prescription medication for mental health conditions. I did not realize until later this was true to that extent.

That’s probably because, after being mired in darkness for many years, and eventually diagnosed with depression and ADHD, I was excited to learn there was a medication that would help me get better. For some reason I cannot explain, I think I innately understood that needing a medication for a chemical imbalance in the brain to treat a mood disorder, is no different than a diabetic who requires insulin for his physical health.

But this rationale is not the case for many men. As a result, overcoming or de-stigmatizing mental health for men is the focus for this new series of blog posts and podcasts.

There are a number of reasons why men resist treatment for mental health issues. Pride too often gets in the way. “There is nothing that wrong with me!” Society tends to see counseling as a signal that we are deficient in some way, unable to figure out our problems on our own. This is particularly true for men, who are hardwired to be problem solvers. We want to be macho, tough it out, figure the issue out just like any other problem in our life.

It’s understandable to a certain extent. If you are a man, conditioned to be “the strong one” in the family, the person that other people look to assistance, the idea of you being he one seeking help for a mental issue is a foreign, even unpleasant concept.

What gets overlooked is that depression and other mood disorders aren’t problems to be solved, but illnesses to be treated. It is still very difficult for many people to understand that taking lithium if you suffer from bipolar disorder is no different than taking a prescribed medication if you are prone to migraines.

There are a number of methods that mental health practitioners are using to de-stigmatize this issue that will be addressed in this series. One involves changing the view of being “tough” – that it’s not a sign of strength or toughness to avoid problems that are wreaking havoc with your life. They explain to men that it’s a sign of toughness to confront, rather than ignore, problems.

I am not a very macho guy, but I understand the idea of addressing a given issue. In fact, I venture to say that most men, myself included, would see taking on a problem -even one I may not understand like a mental issue- as a challenge to be met “head on”, not an issue to be swept under the rug.

Problems don’t go away because we wish they didn’t exist. I think most men would get that. What do you think?

Mental health for men is a new series of blog posts and podcasts developed and distributed by Fresh Hope for Mental Health http://freshhope.us. Portions are excerpted from Mike’s book, “Climbing out of Darkness: A Personal Journey into Mental Wellness.” For more information, contact Mike at mjacquart@writeitrightllc.com.