Pastor Brad Hoefs

Pastor | Author | Speaker | Hope Coach | Mental Health Advocate

Month: December 2018

Music for Your Soul When You Are Going Through Difficulties

Music for Your Soul When You Are Going Through Difficulties

This edition of Fresh Hope for Mental Health is for anyone who is going through a difficult time in their life whether they have a mental health issue or not.  So, this is one podcast that you are going to want to share with any of your friends or family who are in a valley of challenges right now.

In this edition of Fresh Hope for Mental Health Pastor Brad shares four songs that have been extremely helpful to him as he has faced some of his darkest difficulties.

After listening to this podcast, we encourage you to email us at info@FreshHope.us with a comment or question that we will share on our next podcast.

To listen to this podcast just click on the icon below or click here…

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If you are listening to this podcast on iTunes, we encourage you to leave a comment regarding the podcast. Or you can leave a voice message for us on the site:  www.FreshHope4MentalHealth.com

Pastor Brad Hoefs, the host of Fresh Hope for Mental Health, is the founder of Fresh Hope Ministries, a network of Christian mental health support groups for those who have a diagnosis and their loved ones. In other words, Fresh Hope is a Christian mental health support group.

Brad was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 1995. He is a weekly blogger for www.bphope.com (Bipolar Magazine). He is also a certified peer specialist and has been doing pastoral counseling since 1985. Brad is also the author of Fresh Hope: Living Well in Spite of a Mental Health Diagnosis, which is available on Amazon or at http://www.FreshHopeBook.com

If you are interested in more information about Fresh Hope go to http://www.FreshHope.us or email info@FreshHope.us or call 402.932.3089.

To donate to Fresh Hope go to http://freshhope.us/donate/

For a complete list of where Fresh Hope groups are presently meeting, go to www.FreshHope.us and click on “find a group.”  Or you may attain an online group of meetings of Fresh Hope by going to www.FreshHopeMeeting.com

If you are interested in starting a Fresh Hope group within your faith community, contact Julie at Julie@FreshHope.us 

Fresh Hope for Mental Health is a production of Fresh Hope Ministries. 

Fresh Hope Ministries is a non-profit ministry.  

The copyrights of this program belong to Fresh Hope Ministries and may not be duplicated without written permission. 

Fresh Hope is a faith-based non-profit that empowers people to live well in spite of their mental health challenge.

YOUR gift will provide a person with God’s Fresh HOPE for daily living. Click here to donate, today.

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Messy Christmas

Messy Christmas

Christmas has always been my favorite time of the year. Prior to being diagnosed with bipolar, it was also the time of the year when my mood would escalate and the spending sprees would ensue. I also frequently experienced over-the-top focus on making Christmas “perfect.” I had never had anything but a “perfect” Christmas until 1995. That December was the first Christmas, following a manic episode earlier that year, which had led to the loss of my job as the head pastor of a large and growing church. It was also the first time in my life where I was not preaching, singing or playing an instrument in a worship service on Christmas Eve. Needless to say, I was in a lot of pain, grieving and numb from all of the hurt. I was lonely, filled with shame and remorse. Our world had imploded due to my behavior. My diseased brain had caused a very painful, messy situation. It was a stinkin’ pile of crappy mess! But, it was also the first time in my life that I think I got a glimpse of what Christmas is really about.

It was through the stripping away of all of the usual Christmas activities and traditions that I began to understand how messy the first Christmas was. Think about it. If you were God, wouldn’t you have done it differently? God could have done it with great pomp and circumstance; after all, who is more disserving of it than his son? But, he didn’t. Instead, he entered our world in the mess of a stable filled with animals along with all of the stench and the manure. His son was born right in the middle of all of it. He was born into the mess of a mother who was pregnant but not married at the time. And instead of a huge announcement of his birth to the world, the announcement was given to some shepherds out in the fields tending their sheep. Shepherds? Really? Who would ever believe them? After all, they weren’t even allowed to testify in the court system because they were known to be scoundrels who perpetually lied. What a messy birth. But, then again, messy is what our world is. Life can be very messy. And it was because of His love that He entered into our mess.

Maybe this Christmas is messy for you; messy because of the mess of life itself. But, possibly made even into a bigger mess when you stack bipolar on top of all of it. Maybe your world has imploded and brought nothing more than loss, pain, and shame. If so, please know this: this baby of Bethlehem who was born into a messy situation understands your mess. And not only does He love you; He is with you. And He is for you! My life is living proof that He can take HUGE messes and work something wonderful out of it. It did not happen quickly. It was a process that took time. But, I can honestly say that today I see how He has and continues to, redeem all of the messes of my life, including the messes that the bipolar disorder created. I’ve come to understand that there is no such thing as a “perfect” Christmas. It is not about that. Instead, it’s about messy Christmases and Jesus entering into our messy world to save us and redeem us- including the working together of all of our messes for our good. He IS with you. He IS for you; even if you don’t feel it. That doesn’t change the truth. He is working all things together for your good, (Romans 8:28) including any messes you may have made.

The reality is that there are no perfect families, no perfect Christmases, no perfect lives. Instead, the perfect one entered into our broken and messy world and lives. The peace He brings is the true peace, joy, and hope in midst of our messes. He is our sure and certain hope in spite of our messy circumstances. He has come for you. In whatever circumstances you find yourself in this year. He is working things out for your good. He loves you unconditional. He has not given up on you, nor will He ever give up on you. Because of Him, there is real hope. Hope for today. Hope for tomorrow. Hope in spite of your circumstances.

Christmas is still my favorite time of the year. However, there are no more spending sprees or an escalated mood. Rather, I celebrate quietly His entering into my mess and continuing to up-cycle and repurpose my pain for my good and the good of others. I’m not the exception to what He can do. Nor are you!

So, “Fear not, for behold I bring you good news of great joy, for unto you this day in the city of David, a savior is born who is Christ, the Lord.” He specializes in brokenness, messy lives, hope and forgiveness and He has come just for YOU!

 

 

Fresh Hope is a faith-based non-profit that empowers people to live well in spite of their mental health challenge.

YOUR gift will provide a person with God’s Fresh HOPE for daily living. Click here to donate, today.

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Recognizing Signs of Relapse

Recognizing Signs of Relapse

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Winter is a bummer for me. I dislike the cold, snow, gray shortened days.

But most of all I hate sliding into my winter depressive cycle. For years the darkness of bi-polar depression struck with fury, from November through February.

This year my depression has been mild. I even enjoyed Thanksgiving and Christmas for the first time in many years. A slight adjustment in my medication, exercise, reduced stress, and meditation helped level my mood.

But over the last few weeks I have noticed “early warning signs” of a dip in my mood. Here were some of my “early warning signs”.

First, I realized I was blankly staring into space. My mind was empty. I have been doing that recently with increasing frequency. From past experience this is one of my behaviors of the onset of depressive episode.

Another sign I have noticed is that I “sigh” more than usual, as though I don’t have the energy to get up from a chair. It was irritating my wife, who thought the sighs were because I didn’t want to help her. We talked about it and realized is one of my behavioral signs of my mood dropping.

I have had a persistent sadness over the last week, without reason. This slight dip in mood is like a “check engine” light on my car. It is time find out what is going on.

Prayer and Bible reading are not giving me satisfaction or enjoyment. This is unusual and is another sign to check.

Brain fog has settled in on occasion. I have had some times of troubling confusion. 

I have learned over the years these are all precursors to a depressive episode. 

What to do? I have had an uptick in my medicines that is a mood stabilizer. I purchased and used a sunlamp for light therapy. 

My psychiatrist recently retired and so I am searching for someone to do med checks. I have visited with a counselor who has screened me for a new psychiatrist. 

I have begun listening to gospel music which positively impacts my mood and spirit.

Why share my story? For two important reasons. First, we need to be able to recognize our unique that are precursors to a mood change. And then we need to have a plan in place to manage any relapse.

Relapse is an ugly word. But it does happen.

But there is one greater than our circumstances.

“Therefore, we will not fear though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, and the mountains quake with their surging.” (Psalms 46:2)

The psalmist describes his world falling apart. All that has provided stability for him is gone. The mountains and seas, his very foundation is disappearing.  

There is a reality beyond what we see.  Depression shrinks our world.  It turns us inward isolating us from others. Peace of mind shatters.  Our thinking processes are confused.  And convinces us that lies are truth, and truth are lies. Our world becomes a lonely place.

But the psalmist chooses to Look up!

David worships.  In his state of depression he worships when it seems impossible.  

It doesn’t matter how shattered his world, David places his confidence in God the Creator, of heaven and earth, and who will create all things new.

He has faith greater than his circumstances.

David has a place to go when his world has lost its moorings. God is his shelter and refuge.

Look up!

 

Fresh Hope is a faith-based non-profit that empowers people to live well in spite of their mental health challenge.

YOUR gift will provide a person with God’s Fresh HOPE for daily living. Click here to donate, today.

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Think About What You Think About

Think About What You Think About

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Think about what you think about.  Weird suggestion, huh?  But….have you ever done it?  Have you ever paid attention to what goes through your head?  Have you ever stopped and listened to yourself?

For some reason, I woke up one morning with that question on my mind.  I laid in bed thinking about the question and trying to answer it.  These were my thoughts:  ‘Why do I want to even get up today?  I don’t have anything to contribute.  I’m not happy about the way I look.  I’m fat and nothing I put on makes me look decent.  I try to be a good person and positive, but I fail 15 minutes after I get to work.  No one can see God in me.  How can they?  My mouth opens up and before I know it my thoughts are out in the open and I can’t take them back.’  The thoughts running through my head alone could depress me enough on a good day.  And that is interesting, because I think these thoughts often, whether I’m in a depressed state or not.

My pastor once said in a sermon that we have 50,000 thoughts per day, and 85% of them are negative.  I have also heard for every negative comment you say or hear it takes 7 positive ones to cancel that one out.

So now, think about what I said.  I counted them and there were 8 negative things I thought before I even got out of bed in less than a 5 minute period.  So it would take 56 positive thoughts just to cancel out those 8 negative thoughts from those first 5 minutes of the morning.  Now, how many of us really tell ourselves positive things?  Do you answer yourself with something positive when you say or think something negative?  I tried it one morning.  It was pretty difficult!

It took me years of therapy to be able to hear positive things from people.  It took more time to be able to say something nice about myself.  But you know what?  God doesn’t make junk!!!!  We all are ‘beautifully and wonderfully made’ (Psalm 139:14 NIV).  There are qualities about each of us no one else has.  If this is something difficult for you to do, I understand.  But I challenge you to look in the mirror each morning and say at least one positive thing about yourself.  But you have to say it out loud.  Then when a negative thought comes across your mind, repeat the positive thing you said to yourself earlier in the day.  Start small.  Start simple.  For example, ‘I have pretty eyes’; ‘my hair looks good today’; ‘I am a kind person’……

Each of us is important and is worth positive thoughts and words!!!!!

Fresh Hope is a faith-based non-profit that empowers people to live well in spite of their mental health challenge.

YOUR gift will provide a person with God’s Fresh HOPE for daily living. Click here to donate, today.

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30 Things You Can Do When Someone You Love is Clinically Depressed

30 Things You Can Do When Someone You Love is Clinically Depressed

When you love someone that is experiencing deep depression it can be exhausting and melanie-wasser-233297frustrating.  You want to encourage your loved one but don’t want to push them too much. Encouraging them to “push through” but knowing when not to do so is a delicate balance.  You might even find yourself feeling the depression emotionally.  No doubt caring for someone who is in the depths of depression can feel as though life is being sucked out of you.  You can end up having no idea as to how to help or encourage your loved one.

Here’s somethings my wife did for me and/or encouraged me to do when I was in the depths of depression:

  1. Encourage them to do something that they usually have enjoyed doing and do it with them.
  2. Watch an uplifting movie with them.
  3. Make them their favorite meal.
  4. Sit quietly with them. Hold their hand.
  5. Take a walk with them.
  6. Take care of yourself!
  7. Help them establish and stick to a schedule if possible.
  8. Have some expectations of them.
  9. Assure them of your unconditional love.
  10. Assure them that this will pass sooner or later.
  11. Give them a back rub.
  12. Listen to soothing, spiritually uplifting music with them.
  13. Ask them to help you make or do something.
  14. Encourage them to talk and listen carefully.
  15. Encourage them to see a doctor if they have not done so.
  16. Assure them you don’t believe that they are weak or lack faith, but that you know their brain chemistry is experiencing imbalance.
  17. Ask them to promise you that if they ever begin to feel like they begin to feel suicidal that they will tell you. If they tell you, consult with their doctor as soon as possible or contact the Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. If the situation is an emergency, dial 911.
  18. Ask them what might bring them comfort.
  19. Talk about the future. Help them see there is a future.
  20. Encourage them to exercise with you.
  21. Turn on the lights, open the windows.
  22. Find out as much as you can about depression. This is a great website: https://www.lighterblue.com/#lighter-blue
  23. Change your light bulbs to full spectrum light bulbs.
  24. Give your loved one a mood light. Northern Light Technologies has a wide variety of options.  http://northernlighttechnologies.com/  (Before purchasing these you’ll want to check with the doctor.)
  25. Get them vitamin D and B12.
  26. Remind them of times when they have overcome adversity so they know it is possible for them to do so again.
  27. Encourage them to get outside for a walk and some natural sunlight.
  28. Turn off news programs and other negative media. Control negative inputs.
  29. Where possible, encourage them to connect with friends.
  30. Pray.  Every time you find yourself worrying about your loved one, pray instead.

Please know, as a loved one it is SO important that you do take care of yourself too. Stay balanced and do somethings that you enjoy.  Take care of yourself spiritually and emotionally.  Also, know this, the Lord is with you too!  He will see you through this valley. Stay in His word. Hold to His hope. And when you can, laugh a little!  You are not alone. There is hope.  And there is healing.

Cover photo by nikko macaspac on Unsplash

Fresh Hope is a faith-based non-profit that empowers people to live well in spite of their mental health challenge.

YOUR gift will provide a person with God’s Fresh HOPE for daily living. Click here to donate, today.

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Give Yourself Permission

Give Yourself Permission

By Fresh Hope Blogger: Kathy Turney

Doesn’t that seem like a strange thing to say; give yourself permission?

When we were children, we had to ask our parents for permission to do something or go somewhere.  As adults, we don’t usually have to ask for permission unless it’s time off from our job or from some responsibility.  In general, however, we can eat when we want, stay up as long as we want, etc.

I remember when my kids were in school.  They worked really hard at homework, school projects, and other activities.  They had this tendency, even at a young age, to pile on things.  We do this as adults all the time.  I told my kids when they needed a break just to let me know and they had my permission to take a day off from school.  I wanted to remind them it was okay to take a break sometimes.

As adults. we have a huge load of responsibility.  We work, go to school, we are married, we volunteer, we go to our children’s functions and help them with homework.  We also have to pay bills, go grocery shopping, and clothes shopping for ourselves and our family.  We go to church or other groups we are involved in.  We have to take care of the house and/or the lawn.  The list never stops.

Have you ever given yourself permission to sit and read a book?  How about permission to skip mowing the lawn until tomorrow night?  Will the world come to an end if we don’t get it done? We need rest to be the best we can be.

What about permission for other things like being sad, happy, silly, or feeling lonely?  It’s  okay to have these feelings as well.  As adults, I believe we push those things aside because we don’t think they are important or we feel we are being selfish.  These things are just as important as the physical things we need to do.  One of the things my counselor told me was to say,  “Sandy, you have my permission to be mad”.  “Sandy, you have my permission to take a 30-minute nap”.  Saying things out loud seems to be more effective.  It’s amazing what this can do for your well-being.  You are giving yourself a gift when you give permission to have or do something you need, and I believe this will help you be a better you!!!

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Fresh Hope is a faith-based non-profit that empowers people to live well in spite of their mental health challenge.

YOUR gift will provide a person with God’s Fresh HOPE for daily living. Click here to donate, today.

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How to Support Our Children with Depression

How to Support Our Children with Depression

Every child experiences “the blues” every once in a while, but when the sadness becomes relentless, it could manifest into depression. Depression can affect a child’s personal life, school work, and social or family life. Children, versus adults, can develop depression based on additional factors like peer pressure and changing hormone levels. It’s important to be alert and supportive of our children in order to help them.

Symptoms

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) recognizes the following symptoms as warning signs of depression in children:

  • Feelings of sadness, irritability, guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness
  • A decrease in interest in activities once found enjoyable
  • Decrease in energy
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Changes in appetite or weight
  • Changes in sleeping habits
  • Talk of suicide
  • Poor school performance

 If you recognize any of these symptoms in your child there are ways you can help:

 Support

After an initial diagnosis of depression, the best thing you can do is become informed, for you and your child. Jumo Health, a digital health resource for families, offers a depression discussion guide which provides questions to help foster conversation with a doctor after a diagnosis.

Moreover, there are productive ways to create a dialogue between you and your child. Start by letting your child know why you care about how they are feeling. Ask your child about their feelings, but don’t expect them to completely understand or have all the answers. Follow up with connections and examples of some of your own feelings so that they feel relatable. It’s important for children to know that they are not alone.

 If you want to help your child even further, we previously suggested the “Three L’s”:

  • Logging thoughts in a journal
  • Laughter
  • Long walks

Have your child interpret thoughts through writing. They can use a journal to keep track of moods, visualize patterns, and even write down inspirational thoughts. Journaling is a great way for your child to get their thoughts down on paper to clarify and reflect on their feelings.

Better yet, help your child combat sadness with its opposite: laughter. Activities such as watching a funny movie or show can use humor to play an important role in depression management.

Lastly, utilize the curative effects of exercise. Physical activity has healing benefits that release endorphins in order to relieve stress.

Connect with God

It’s important to remind your child that if God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says: “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

Becoming Your Own Advocate by Jamie Meyer

Becoming Your Own Advocate by Jamie Meyer

by Jamie Meyer

I remember the day I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. When he spoke the words “major depressive disorder,” I felt both relieved and discouraged. Relief that there was a valid reason why I felt numb and hopeless. Discouragement that I’d been labeled with a mental illness.

After receiving that diagnosis l faithfully took my medication and eventually began seeing a therapist at my doctor’s request. Although I started feeling better after a few months, I still relied on both of them to decide what was best for me. After all, they were the experts and my part was to follow their instructions if I wanted to get well, right?

There came a point in my recovery, however, when I desperately wanted to get off the medications and get back to the “old me.” I mentioned this to my doctor and was told that I’d most likely be on medication the rest of my life. Since my diagnosis had been changed to bipolar 2 at this point, I’m guessing he viewed this as a more serious disorder than depression, one that would require lifelong treatment.

Knowing I was in this for the long haul, I determined to learn more about my diagnosis and the things I could do to stay as healthy as possible. If I had been diagnosed with diabetes or fibromyalgia I’d be searching for more information, so why wouldn’t I take the same approach in learning about an illness in my brain?

While I found many books and articles about bipolar 2, they mostly encouraged people to stay on medications and rely on their doctors and therapists if they wanted to get well. While I agree that these professionals have more education and knowledge about mental disorders than I do, I’m the only one who’s an expert on me! Only l know what it’s like to live with the unique thoughts, feelings, and symptoms that are a part of my illness. The same is true of you as well.

Wanting to improve my thinking, behavior and emotional health, my searching led me to Fresh Hope, a faith-based support group for people experiencing mental health challenges and their loved ones. They focus on living well in spite of having a mental health issue. Fresh Hope groups emphasize that we are not victims of our illness but that we have the right to stand up for ourselves and manage our own mental health care.

Being an advocate for ourselves means we partner with our health care providers rather than giving them sole power to make decisions for us. Appointments become opportunities for mutual discussion. Our part is to communicate honestly with our doctor, letting he or she know if our meds are working or not and requesting changes if side effects are unacceptable or we feel worse instead of better.

In our therapist’s office we have the right to ask for what we need and to be honest if we’re not seeing progress. There may be times when we’ll need to change the subject of a session in order to discuss something urgent that has come up. We’re also free to respectfully disagree with our therapist’s recommendations if we don’t feel they would be helpful in our recovery.

Taking personal responsibility also includes learning about and choosing healthier thoughts and actions that will improve our mental wellness. For example, we can reduce anxiety by learning relaxation techniques or methods to slow down racing thoughts. Choosing to exercise regularly, avoiding junk food, and keeping a gratitude journal can help to improve our mental and emotional stability.

Standing up for ourselves with our doctor and therapist and choosing more positive, helpful thoughts and behaviors are just some of the ways we can manage our mental health condition. We’re less likely to feel helpless and hopeless if we take responsibility for our own wellness rather than depending on someone else to “make us better.”

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Fresh Hope is a faith-based non-profit that empowers people to live well in spite of their mental health challenge.

YOUR gift will provide a person with God’s Fresh HOPE for daily living. Click here to donate, today.

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“How Joyful People Think: 8 Ways of Thinking That Lead to a Better Life”: Pastor Jamie Rasmussen

“How Joyful People Think: 8 Ways of Thinking That Lead to a Better Life”: Pastor Jamie Rasmussen

On this episode of Fresh Hope for Mental Health, Pastor Brad Hoefs talks with Author and Senior Pastor of Scottsdale Bible Church, Jamie Rasmussen about his book; “How Joyful People Think: 8 Ways of Thinking That Lead to a Better Life.” Why is it important that we change our thinking? How does the Bible tell us to think? Is it possible to have joy when your depressed?

To listen to the podcast click here!

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We encourage you to share this podcast with your friends via your social media connections.

After listening to this podcast, we encourage you to email us at info@FreshHope.us with a comment or question that we will share on our next podcast.

If you are listening to this podcast on iTunes, we encourage you to leave a comment regarding the podcast. Or you can leave a voice message for us on the site:  www.FreshHope4MentalHealth.com

Fresh Hope is a faith-based non-profit that empowers people to live well in spite of their mental health challenge.

YOUR gift will provide a person with God’s Fresh HOPE for daily living. Click here to donate, today.

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