Is Self-Care Selfish? By Pastor Rick Qualls

Is Self-Care Selfish?  By Pastor Rick Qualls

by Pastor Rick Qualls

Self-care begins with self-respect.You have been deeply loved by God. You are one of His masterpieces. Self-care flows from God’s love.

“Love your neighbor as yourself”—Jesus

Before you can really love your neighbor you must love yourself.

But what does self-care mean?

Selfishness and self-care are two very different things.

Selfishness demands that others respect them. Selfishness is not kind to others unless there is some reward for it. It bullies others to gain respect.

Self care is kind and respects yourself. You do not bully yourself or others because your contentment comes from deep within. Self Care

Self-compassion is being content  with who you are, both strengths and weaknesses.. You are content with what you have. You are not jealous of the possessions and traits of others because you are comfortable with being the person God created you to be.

Contentment means you don’t have to prove anything to anyone else.

Selfishness hides the truth. It sweeps things under the rug. Lies are told as though they were truth.

Self-care is not afraid of truth. It names and faces our inner demons and is not afraid. Self-compassion is courageous because He casts out fear by his perfect love.

You are patient with yourself because you know that people change slowly. You are patient knowing that set backs are part of growth.

Selfishness demands quick change, instant gratification. It is angry at slow growth. It may become so angry you give up your progress toward healing.

Practically, self care includes keeping boundaries, as, not doing for others what they can do for themselves. Self care accepts personal responsibility, and doesn’t blame others for troubles we bring to ourselves.

Healthy boundaries helps you manage your disease responsibly. Making appointments with your doctors and doing what your doctor prescribes are acts of self-care. In counseling you open your heart and examine the depth of your disease, talking about your frustration, and seek ways to manage your disease.

Boundaries include keeping healthy sleep, exercise, and diet patterns. Keeping healthy boundaries is knowing when to ask for help.

Without self-care you may relapse. A relapse is often worse than the previous episodes. It may mean a trip to your psych ward.

Self-care is not selfish. It leads to healthier relationships and eases the burdens of your disease.

If the Bible has meaning for you here are some Bible verses that encourage self-care.

“Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? “1 Cor 16:19

Matthew 7:12 “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”

1 Timothy 4:8 “For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, …”

As you read the following verses imagine treating yourself in these ways:

“Love is kind and patient, never jealous, boastful, proud, or rude.

Love isn’t selfish or quick tempered.

It doesn’t keep a record of wrongs that others do.

Love rejoices in the truth, but not in evil.

Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting.

Love never fails!”

For now there are faith, hope, and love. But of these three, the greatest is love.” (excerpt of 1 Corinthians 13 CEV)

Take care of yourself. We need you.

Check out Rick’s Fresh Hope blog at: http://freshhope.us/author/RickQualls/

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Fresh Hope is a faith-based non-profit that empowers people to live well in spite of their mental health challenge.

YOUR gift will provide a person with God’s Fresh HOPE for daily living. Click here to donate, today.

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Cracked & Beautiful by Lindsay Hausch

Cracked & Beautiful by Lindsay Hausch

By: Lindsay Hausch

As I wiped the tears, and snot, and blood from her dirty face I felt the heavy weight of dread in the pit of my stomach. Her once perfect smile was broken, the front baby tooth jagged where it was once a pristine little square.

Smelling of lavender and wrapped sweetly in her pink princess nightgown, every sign of my daughter’s fall earlier that day was wiped clean, except for her crooked smile. And while I was grateful that she was unharmed, the crack remained, reminding me of how helpless I really am.

Because even if I stand at the bottom of the slide, waiting to catch her, my little girl can still crash, and bleed, and cry out in pain, and there is nothing I can do about it, except hold her and comfort her, and say “I’m sorry.”

Her cracked smile reminds me of my helplessness. It reminds me of how helpless I am in protecting my baby in this big scary world; it reminds me of how little control I have over my own little world, and it reminds me that no matter how much I fight to keep things pristine, and perfect, and straight, they can become cracked, and crooked, and broken.

I try to control my life, to keep it neat and tidy like a pretty photo, but it doesn’t fit in the neat little frame that I try to package it in. Despite my efforts to make everything just so, reality shatters my plans, leaving a web of cracks on the high polished surface of my life.

But then I look at her intent blue eyes and bobbing blonde head in the rearview mirror,  her wide, crack toothed smile like a ray of sunshine, and she says to me “Mommy, I have a new, bigger smile.”

I peer at that smile that is no longer the picture of perfection. And I take a deep breath as the warm sun floods our car and I let a laugh explode from my mouth. I laugh with God, because he is full of so many surprises. I laugh because I am so helpless, and cracked, and yet through HIM I am hopeful and whole. I laugh at my daughter’s fearlessness, her innocence, and her new, bigger, beautiful smile.

I look at the crack in the windshield, that I’ve been meaning to fix, and I smile as I see beams of light refract from it.

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Fresh Hope is a faith-based non-profit that empowers people to live well in spite of their mental health challenge.

YOUR gift will provide a person with God’s Fresh HOPE for daily living. Click here to donate, today.

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Real Hope Has Gotten Me Through My Hopelessness

Real Hope Has Gotten Me Through My Hopelessness

Life can be difficult.  No one makes it through life without painful trials and tribulations. And there is no doubt that having bipolar disorder on top of all of the typical trials and tribulations can make life even more challenging.  There’s just no sugar-coating it. Hopelessness happens all too easily.  But life can also be beautiful. The truth is, no one makes it through life without experiencing joy-filled events and blessings.  But having hope and being hope-filled takes effort, unlike hopelessness.

Probably one of the most peculiar things about hope and hopelessness is that they can co-exist in life. When I reflect on the greatest difficulties and deepest depression that caused extreme despair in my life, it was hope that got me through the hopelessness. But it was not the “wishful-thinking” kind of hope that life would get better that got me through the hopelessness.  That kind of “hope” is nothing more than wishful thinking that things may or may not get better.  And that kind of hope was not enough for me.  Hoping that things might get better could not even bring about the smallest of cracks within my despair.

img_6604So what is this “real” hope that got me through and continues to get me through living life with bipolar disorder?  It’s the Real Hope that was born and died on the cross and His promise.  In particular, it is the promise of Romans 8:28 that has gotten me through the many incredibly painful events that could have easily led to the bottomless pit of hopelessness. In Romans 8:28 the apostle Paul tells us that the Lord will work all things together for our good.  As a person of faith, I believe this.  Knowing and believing this real hope does not mean that I stuff my feelings.  Rather, it means that as I feel my feelings I’m able to work through them and deal with them because I know that He will take even the worst of life’s trials and tribulations and make them work together for me for my good.  That’s hope. That’s real.

See, I’ve come to understand how my faith has been instrumental in my living well.  I don’t do wishful thinking kind of hope.  Instead, I do Romans 8:28 hope.  In other words, as I go through difficulties (and there are plenty of them) I recognize them, feel the feelings because I know that the Lord will take all of the pain and make it work for my good. It doesn’t mean that all of a sudden things become easy.  But I’m able to move through the pain, knowing how it will end.

The Lord is the real hope.  The Father sent His Son into our messy world to redeem us.  Born right in the midst of the stench of that stable,He came.  And on that cross, He died for you and me. Out of what appeared to be a hopeless beginning and an even more hopeless death on the cross, He rose as proof that He is indeed our sure and certain hope.

There is no way that I would be living well, much less living, without Him as my hope.  Romans 8:28 has gotten me through the hopelessness. Grab ahold of that hope my friend.  Whatever difficulties you are going through this day, He can and will make though things work together for your good.  No, he doesn’t promise a painless life. In fact, He says that in this life you and I will have difficulties.  Instead, He promises to never leave you, and to take those problems and work them together for your good.  And in knowing this, you and I can move forward in spite of our present circumstances.

On this day, my prayer is that you will grab ahold of the real and certain hope we have that He will take all of your difficulties, pain, and problems, and work them together for your good.  Keeping moving forward: moving one step at a time.  He loves you.  He is with you. He is for you. And Heis at work; making all things work out together for your good!

Blessings my friend,

Brad

Fresh Hope is a faith-based non-profit that empowers people to live well in spite of their mental health challenge.

YOUR gift will provide a person with God’s Fresh HOPE for daily living. Click here to donate, today.

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