This person I had not seen in 17 years had shown up. My husband and I were having strong disagreements and simultaneously I happened to be having a hypomanic episode. These three separate events blending in together were a recipe for disaster.
Everything in my life seemed to explode and I found myself asking why. Why had God allowed this person to show up exactly when I was experiencing hypomania. Why had God allowed my husband and I to be going through what we were going through. Why didn`t God heal me of this illness. Why. Why. Why.
Until my dad told me the 4 wisest words I`ve ever heard: “God is in control”. And then I could breathe again. It was then that, listening to a playlist on youtube, by “chance”a song by Carrie Underwood started to play. It´s called “Jesus Take the Wheel”. I invite you to look it up and listen to it. This is what it says:
“She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati on a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her mama and her daddy with the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go, and she was running low on faith and gasoline
It’d been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind, and she didn’t pay attention
She was going way too fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn’t even have time to cry
She was so scared
She threw her hands up in the air
Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
‘Cause I can’t do this on my own
I’m letting go
So give me one more chance
And save me from this road I’m on
Jesus, take the wheel
It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said, “I’m sorry for the way
I’ve been living my life
I know I’ve got to change
So from now on tonight
Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
‘Cause I can’t do this on my own
I’m letting go
So give me one more chance
And save me from this road I’m on.”
Yes. Even in the chaos- God is in Control. Even when nothing seems to make sense. Even when “life” throws at us its greatest ironies, God is in control. Even when doctors cannot figure things out. Even when relationships are complicated. God is in control.
No matter what you`re facing today, peace is not to be found in understanding everything. Peace is to be found in the fact that, if you belong to the Lord, your life isn’t like a ship going adrift in a vast ocean- no. It has a definite path and a destiny holding it together, in Jesus hands. Ask Him to take the wheel today.
Nowadays not only are my symptoms in remission and my marriage is better than it has ever been- wounds from the past have healed and we are taking joy every day in serving the Lord by sharing the hope that we found only in Him, and spreading it throughout all of Latin America.
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Rom. 8:28
Heavenly Father, I can’t thank you enough for being in control. Help me surrender everything in my life to you and help me trust your Sovereign hands to take me where you want to take me. Help me rest in the knowledge that, even when I don`t understand, I can rest in you because You are in control. In Jesus´ Name, Amen.
